You know I had to unpublish that post, right? It violated all kinds of Blog Policy. I hate it when I do that. Also, I have no more indignation in my system and I don't like to be snippy and LET'S TALK ABOUT PASTRIES.
Every time my in-laws go to Canada - which is a lot, since Phillip's almost entire extended family lives in Richmond, BC aka Hong Kouver - they come home with a giant box of Hong Kong pastries. A whole bunch of buns, some with suspicious fillings, and often a Swiss roll cake and my favorite kind of dim sum, which I can't remember the name of right now, but is like a delicious flaky pastry with BBQ pork inside. This past Sunday they dropped off a bulging bag of bo luo bao ("bowl - lo - bow" if you want the white girl translation). It's a sweet bread bun with a crumbly sugary crust on top that makes a huge mess when you eat it.
So, Chinese desserts and pastries are not my thing. They are in the Barely Sweet category which means I have no use for them. We ordered a Chinese wedding cake because it was about nine frillion dollars less than other wedding cakes AND it looked pretty, but I didn't want to eat it. Chinese desserts at dim sum are horrifying - this sweet red bean soup, jiggly suspiciously-colored jello squares and other gelatinous items. As a rule, I stay away.
But I was starving once and I saw someone's half eaten bo luo bao sitting on the counter and obvs I had to shove it in my mouth ASAP and OH NOOOOOOES I now have another enemy in the Lose The Baby Weight battle. Bo luo bao is SO YUMMY! And my in-laws bring me heaps of them on a regular basis! Ostensibly they are for the children (which includes Phillip), but with Phillip out of town this week and my worry (ahem) that the buns might go stale if we don't eat them quickly enough... SIGH. FINE. I HAD SIX FOR BREAKFAST.
Speaking of breakfast, the fighting got an early start today (who am I kidding - they start fighting over the baby monitor they second they wake up) so they are eating breakfast at two different tables and neither of them is allowed to even look at Emma (an everpresent distraction) until they're finished.
Yesterday was a loooooong haul of barking at them to stop doing that, stop doing this, what do you think you're doing, you KNOW you're not supposed to do that, seriously what are you doing, I TOLD YOU TO STOP DOING THAT I AM NOT SHOUTING AT YOU FOR MY HEALTH. And it didn't matter what tone of voice I used, how I phrased something, how nice I was, how mean I was, how screamy I got - I received the same Look every time. The Look that means: If I'm just still for a minute and make it LOOK like I'm listening to you, you'll stop bugging us and we can go right back to whatever it was we were doing which is WAAAAAY more important and interesting and meaningful than anything you can possibly say to us.
It's like they're just biding their time. A little conspiracy against the mad woman whose job it is to feed them fruit snacks and drive them to parks. Two against one. That look drives me around the bend. But I have absolutely no idea what to do about it. None. Time outs? Useless. More yelling? Pointless. Nicely phrased reasoning? HA. Calm? HO HO! The only thing that EVER seems to work with these kids is Giving Them Something Else To Do, but you know, I only have so many Something Else To Dos up my sleeve and also I have a snarffly six-month-old and I SWEAR this is why God gave me a backyard. Let us all pray against rain today.