I had hoped for a restful weekend, but I am just feeling SO PREGNANT. I'm not, like, MISERABLE or anything, and it's nothing I haven't experienced before, but MAN it's just a DRAG. I've completely run out of comfortable positions, both daytime and nighttime. This baby never stops moving. I'm either totally starving and stuffing my face or totally uninterested in food when everyone else wants to go to happy hour. All I really feel like doing, ever, is napping.
And of course I've been so short with the kids. They're not being any more fighty or fidgety than usual, but my patience threshold is SO much lower and my clutter threshold is SO much higher. My zero-to-yell speed is something like ninety jillion times faster and half the time it's my fault because I'm not doing my JOB. Of COURSE they're listless and restless and wishing to get out and DO something. But our daily activities revolve around my energy level and I take every opportunity to sit down and close my eyes. I can't imagine that's much fun. And listlessness breeds arguments. Even if they're arguments like, "JACK WON'T PLAY OUTSIDE WITH MEEEEEE I WANT JACK TO PLAY WITH MEEEEEE WAAAAAHHHH."
I'm not DOING anything either. I keep thinking of little things I'd like to do - that one more piece of Ikea furniture I want to buy for the living room, hanging some pictures in our bedroom, trying to make the playroom a more attractive place for the kids, cleaning up the outside toys, just random jobs here and there. But I'm so tired. And everything leaves me out of breath. I mean, these are things I WANT to do, not things I'm happy to put off. I feel really frustrated. I'm used to GETTIN' STUFF DONE.
We had friends stay with us over the weekend and I had Major Plans for the house. I got all the necessary stuff done, but towards the end I realized I was going to have to make some choices. I could not do everything. And I had to actually tell myself, out loud, that my friends would still love me if I waited to vacuum until Saturday morning after the kids were dropped off with grandparents. I KNOW.
And even then... all we really DO with this group of friends during this particular weekend is sit on the couch, talk our faces off and eat too much. NOT THAT HARD. Thankfully I was engaged enough when everyone else was talking, but I felt like a total space cadet when it was my turn to talk and I gave up on a fun afternoon with the girls to nap. LAME. It wasn't even a good nap, and when I woke up it took me a good hour to snap out of the nap fog.
That said, I felt taken care of. Phillip and I hosted, but our friends cooked and cleaned up and picked up the toys and basically ensured that I didn't lift a finger.
I feel bad, because it was a great weekend and we had a great time Sunday night with my family and Molly's birthday party. I have some really great pictures and preschool on Friday went well and I'm just feeling so blessed right now to have such wonderful friends and family and a husband who let me sleep late this morning, but I am SO PREGNANT. I've got five-ish weeks, technically, and all day I had moments where I wondered how I was going to do it. I can't NOT engage with my kids for five weeks. I have to be present! I have to participate! I HAVE TO MAKE BREAKFAST!
I really want to write more about the stuff we talked about this weekend, and I really want to post some pictures, but I need to get the kids ready for bed (Phillip is crawling around in the rafters trying to finish his wiring project, do not ask me how I feel about this wiring project) and have I mentioned that I am LARGE and UNCOMFORTABLE and READY TO GO TO BED AT 8PM.
I hope you had good weekends too.