Extreme Home Makeover, brought to you by Mighty Maggie's Mom
Mighty Mom and Mighty Dad came up for a big city weekend this past Saturday. They went out for a local pub dinner, enjoyed some community theater and stayed the night at Chateau Cheung. After church and brunch Sunday morning, Mighty Dad was ready to while away the afternoon exercising the Civil War section of his brain (which is about half) and Mighty Mom wanted to shop. Namely at University Village, where she has only shopped with my dad and, as we all know, that's no fun. It can't even really be considered "shopping". Maybe "zooming through an outdoor shopping mall, barely pausing to look in the windows lest the urge to actually buy something overtakes you and propels you into an actual STORE. Horrors!" So we left Dad and Phillip at home and took off for the land of overpriced yuppie houseware crap.
MAGGIE: Okay, we should probably get there a little early because it's really hard to park on the weekends.
MOM: Oh, I don't mind walking!
MAGGIE: No, you don't understand. Sometimes there aren't any parking spaces.
MOM: Well sometimes we have to park way at the end of the WalMart parking lot. I have to drop Grandma off at the door. But I'm okay walking.
MAGGIE: No, you don't understand. I once drove to the very tippy top of the parking garage- the PARKING GARAGE- at U Village and there were NO PARKING SPACES. I went HOME.
MOM: Oh. Well we should get going then, huh?!
MOM: inside Crate & Barrel Well. I don't think I want to buy anything here.
MAGGIE: Yeah, sometimes this stuff is a little too mod for me. Is 'mod' the right word? Makes me think of Agent 99 in Get Smart.
MOM: Not that I wouldn't find something to buy in here. I could definitely buy something here. Like these brightly colored stackable mixing bowls. These are very cute.
MAGGIE: But not today.
MOM: No, not today.
MOM: inside Land of Nod Well. I don't think I'm going to buy anything here either.
MAGGIE: Not even the $400 ABC rug? Or the wooden pizza? I bet Caden would really like the wooden pizza.
MOM: He's too little for a wooden pizza. Look at that bed. She points at a little person's bed built to look like a sail boat. You'd think that after a few years you wouldn't want a boat bed anymore.
MAGGIE: I don't know. I can think of two or three guys who'd get big kick out of having a boat bed.
MOM: But that's just silly. Why would someone buy that. And they're just going to grow out of it.
MAGGIE: Where is your sense of wonder?
MOM: It's just not very practical.
MAGGIE: Will you buy the John Lithgow CD for me?
MAGGIE: inside Pottery Barn There's LOTS of stuff we can buy here.
MOM: Perhaps if we had five million more dollars. I like this table runner, but it costs too much.
MAGGIE: Yes, but this is why we have Target. We check out what we like at Pottery Barn, then we find it at Target.
MOM: Let's go to Target.
MAGGIE: Don't you like Pottery Barn? HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE POTTERY BARN?
MOM: Now this store, this store is fun!
MAGGIE: Let's look at those silicone cupcake pans. Those are weird.
MOM: No, I'm looking at olive oil thingies.
MAGGIE: Ooh, pretty napkins.
MOM: Grandma wants a new Tupperware thing for her milk. Do they have Tupperware?
MAGGIE: These dishes are pretty.
MOM: Yes, I want one of those in every color. Do you think your father will be upset if I carry 8 new place settings back to Italy in our suitcases?
MAGGIE: How can he not like these dishes?
MOM: Here are those silicone things. How do these work. You're just supposed to flip the cake out? Whatever.
MAGGIE: Hey, Phillip wants this stuff. I'm going to buy it for him. He's going to be so impressed that I thought of him while I was shopping.
MOM: Should we call them? See how they're doing?
MAGGIE: And have them tell us we should come home soon? Nah.
MAGGIE: I am U Villaged out.
MOM: We haven't gone plant shopping.
MAGGIE: We don't need to go plant shopping.
MOM: Yes we do. You said we could go plant shopping.
MAGGIE: Yeesh. gets in car, drives to Home Depot
MOM: So what do you want?
MAGGIE: I was thinking about digging out that bamboo thing in the corner and putting in a hydrangea. Wouldn't that be nice?
MOM: That would be very nice! Let's go find a hydrangea! Oh! Here's a hydrangea! Pull that one out. No, that one. And then that one. What do you think about that one? This one looks best. Put that one in the cart.
MOM: I like these little pink ones. I think you should get some of those. Dumps 4 little pink ones in the cart. What about cosmos? You need cosmos along the fence. You like cosmos, right?
MAGGIE: Yeah, I like cosmos. K has a few of those too. We're collaborating, you know.
MOM: Okay. I think you should get this one. And you pick out another one. Good. What now. Oh! A vine! You wanted a vine! Okay I'll stand in line and you pick out a vine.
MOM: GO GET A VINE.
MAGGIE: finds a vine, puts it in the cart
MOM: pays for everything
MAGGIE: This is kind of like my first Christmas home from college when you kept buying me everything I happened to see, want or mention casually in conversation.
MOM: eyes narrow
MAGGIE: But I am SO not complaining!!!
We had a really nice time. Even with the moron who started honking his horn across the street at 6 am (after all the things we said about our nice quiet neighborhood), but if he hadn't woken everyone up, my dad might not have gone out to walk around Green Lake and subsequently grow that much more enchanted with the whole new house thing. The only hard part was the constant refreshing of the coffee pot. I'm just not used to being around someone who has a little caffeine port embedded into her arm.
Anyway, I'd been looking forward to the Big City Weekend for a while and I'm a little disappointed they won't be up again. Well, maybe one more time before they leave. Kinda sucks having your folks live halfway across the world. Wah. Especially when they are buying you plants.
Nothing much is planned for this week except much sunning of pasty white legs in the glorious sunshine. I would like to take a minute to recognize the rest of the nation for enduring a painful heat wave so that us pale Seattleites could have a little sun too. A grateful and pasty population thanks you.