Music & TV

How I like to spend my evenings

Today marks the start of National Turn Off TV Week. Did you know that? Damn my news obsession.

Last Friday morning, for the first time ever, I dug a children's DVD out of the cabinet and turned it on for Jack. It was something like Sesame Street's Favorite Kids' Songs and it was super old, this is I know because GORDON was in it and Gordon is from MY Sesame Street era.

Jack was mildly interested. He didn't plop himself down to watch, but he kept one eye on the TV while he moseyed around the living room, hunting for the remote (a fruitless endeavor!) and ripping up Mommy's entertainment magazines. He seemed to ignore all the talking parts and pay more attention during the singing parts. Again, I wondered where this boy came from because I? Will watch a test pattern.

Of course, this wasn't the first time Jack was introduced to TV. In my house? Are you kidding? One way I got through the bleakness of January and February was tuning into incessant presidential primary coverage. Some people watch daytime soaps, I watch MSNBC. I'm also one of those people who needs a little background noise and the TV is always good for that. (I had a visitor a few weeks ago complaining about her chatty officemate and people on the bus and everyone having to listen to the little TV ads they played throughout her flight to Hawaii and I was all, "Yeah, I don't even hear that stuff." Tuning people out = one of my spiritual gifts.)

Anyway, now that it's lighter out and we're getting out of the house more and I am not so much in the Throes of Nausea, there is less TV. But television being one of the Great Childhood Evils, I feel a little guilty about it. Not too much, mostly because Jack just doesn't seem all that interested. Perhaps he inherited my gift? He'll cock his head towards the screen when a particularly sing songy commercial comes on, but other than that he doesn't seem to pay attention. So that makes me feel better. My favorite vice does not appear to be harming my child. SO FAR. (Dum, de dum dum!)

Now that we've got that out of the way, we can start discussing my favorite topic.

At this point I'm not sure I care who wins American Idol. I really don't. Brooke, my favorite, looks like the show is eating away at her will to live. She seems to get worse (not necessarily her performances, but her demeanor) every week and I just want someone to say, "Brooke, honey, go find a piano bar and leave these Hollywood crazies to themselves!" David Cook annoys me. I thought his Mariah Carey adaptation was terrible. Sure, he gets extra bonus points for imagination and actually having some skill when it comes to this musician stuff, but 'Always Be My Baby'? Couldn't he have picked something less... bouncy? Little David annoys me, but you should have seen Phillip and me when he broke out the Robbie Williams a few weeks ago. Karaoke at Chez Cheung! And then we looked it up in our iTunes library (because of COURSE we have that song) and did it all over again. I bet you didn't know Phillip Cheung can knock out an awesome falsetto. And now I can expect the divorce papers.

Is the mother on How I Met Your Mother Sarah Chalke? Anyone? Theories? Her St. Patrick's Day comment, the umbrella, the mysterious blonde...

My favorite cook on Top Chef is Mohawk Jen. And people! Ming Tsai was a guest judge! YUM!

Lost has been seriously awesome, except for the Michael episode. Oh, and also the one where Jin is dead because NO WAY IS THAT HAPPENING IN MY UNIVERSE. After hating this show for so long it's nice to be excited about new episodes coming up.

Last night Phillip asked me if I would be watching The Office if Jim and Pam weren't part of the show. And the answer is no. They've kind of run out of office-centric plots for Michael and now I don't like watching him at all. Even though the show is still funny, without the redeeming normalcy of Jim and Pam, the cringeworthy dinner party isn't as fun to watch. And you guys, I nearly died when Jim showed us that engagement ring. SQUEE! And then! When he got down on one knee on the sidewalk! I was totally Pam, you guys, TOTALLY FOOLED. And then I made Phillip tell me how he'll propose the next time we get married.

Scrubs is not as funny anymore now that JD is OLD. You hear me, Zach Braff? GROW UP ALREADY.

What else are we watching these days? Oh, Jon & Kate Plus 8, which is WILD people, just WILD. My mom came back from visiting my brother and sister-in-law all "HaveyouseenthisshowitisCRAZY!" and so I had to TiVo it and YOU GUYS I am HOOKED. Do I complain about my one single only perfect child? FOR SHAME.

And after I wrote about my finger (which is DISGUSTING, by the way, DIS. GUSTING.) people kept yammering on about America's Next Top Model and Life Imitating Art and I have to say that that is one show I don't watch (horrors!) and someone will have to explain. I'm all ears.

I know I'm forgetting lots but you already think I am a TV Junkie and that my kid is going to turn into a bank robber, so I'll end this here. What are you watching and loving/hating? Anything I need to record? Because you know the CHEUNGS are not turning off their television.


Yet another glimpse into my messed up mind

I used to read books. Those books on the bookshelves? ALL MINE. Phillip owns, like, The Simpsons Encyclopedia and the entire score to Cosi Fan Tutte, but those don't count. And those books aren't just from old college classes either. They're books I bought at actual bookstores because I used to be a devoted reader of numerous book blogs and someone would say, "Hey, The Thin Place by Kathryn Davis ROCKED MY WORLD!" and I would have to go out and buy it. I might come home and read the first 20 pages and decide Kathryn Davis was not my cup of tea, but I never felt like I wasted my money. I was, after all, contributing to the Literary Sphere. Somehow.

Then Jack was born and I am pretty sure the last book I read was the final Harry Potter book, which I read in one whole Saturday while Phillip promised to keep our baby alive.

It's not that I don't read anymore. Have you seen my feed reader? I just don't read books. I have forty-seven magazine subscriptions, and not just to US Weekly. I have my political magazines (on the left and right, thankyouverymuch, which is why I am getting annoying amounts of fund raising mail from the DNC and the RNC) and my local "this is where you should go for breakfast next Saturday" magazines and okay okay my entertainment magazines and my very favorite, The Atlantic Monthly, which ends up in piles under my side of the bed because I have a hard time finishing it before the next one arrives.

But books. I don't read many books anymore.

A week or two ago a friend of mine was telling me about this fabulous book she was reading and since she was telling me about it while we were standing outside a Barnes & Noble, I decided to go buy it. Which is how I ended up with The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett on my nightstand. Apparently this is an Oprah book? That is twenty some years old? That everyone just LOVES? I was telling my Retired To Full Time Reader Status dad about my new book and he said HE liked and well, I am nothing if not a Dad Pleaser, so I dug into my book and...

I CAN'T READ IT. GAH.

I have this really embarrassing problem called An Overactive Imagination. It's really bad. It's one of my Highly Anxious Personality Traits. I wasn't always like this- I distinctly remember watching plenty of disturbing movies and reading scary books all without having nervous breakdowns- but I'm losing my ability to separate the Real from the Not Real. Seriously.

For one thing, I sort of overlooked the part where this book is set in the Days of Yore. Like, a LONG TIME AGO. When there were no baths and no toothbrushes and no last names. Where life was a bit more rough and tumble than it is now. Where you might have to be afraid of the Blasted English Invaders bursting into your family hut and running their spears through your parents' abdominal cavities.

I KNOW.

I've had to put this book down, like, fifteen times and I haven't even got to the good part yet, where the main character starts building his cathedral. I keep telling myself I just need to get to that part, then I'll be so engrossed I won't even care when someone does something horrible, but... okay. I will spoil a small part of this book. When a mother dies in childbirth, the father leaves the baby in the woods. Alone. To possibly be eaten by wolves.

AAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!

See, I KNOW that he had reason to do so (how is he supposed to feed the baby? he is starving himself!) and that this happened eons ago and that actually that baby is saved by a passerby which is a big ole plot point AND THESE ARE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS, but I can't quite get over the fact that this was life in the Days of Yore. I'm sure that at some point in history, somebody DID leave their newborn baby alone in a forest! OH THE HUMANITY. And that is where I have to put my book down and have it out with God because WHY MUST WE LIVE IN THIS VALE OF TEARS?

The last book I really got into I had to put down, because of 1) child abuse and 2) every single character had a secret and/or was lying and if these people just came clean everything would be FINE and it was DRIVING ME INSANE. I still haven't finished that one.

You think the nightly news is bad? Just give me a novel!

I fully intend to pick up this book again- because I AM into it, bloody gore and all- but I need to give it a couple of days. In the meantime, I feel guilt over the fact that I still haven't read a stupid book in months. I just saw on the Google news page that they're planning to split the last Harry Potter movie into two parts, which makes me think I should reread book seven. I did, after all, read that hulking thing in one day so I obviously missed a few things. And as far as I can remember, Harry Potter hasn't given me an anxiety attack.

But do you have any book suggestions? That won't send me into a pit of fear and/or paranoia? I've heard there is a sequel to Kiki Strike, which I LOOOOOOOVED, so I may go get that. Also because my sister knows I will buy books and let her read them when I'm finished and she may or may not have been bugging me for months to go buy it already.

Oh, and for those of you who actually made it this far and are all, "BUT WHAT ABOUT THE BABY" I have a post up at Parenting about girls vs. boys, as in, which kind I would prefer the second time around. I live to supply you with content.


Fierce!

I knew you guys were of my tribe. Seriously, I can get through about half a column of Thin Mints before I decide I need a drink of water. Which I fetch from the kitchen before I sit down to polish off the rest. OF THE BOX. So thanks for restoring sanity to the world, well, except for Ashley, who tells us that not only does she eat 3 Thin Mints at a time, she'll eat ANOTHER ONE for DESSERT. Quelle horreur! This must be why Ashley kicked everyone's butt during the not-so-motivational weight loss challenge. (And you thought I wasn't keeping track!)

So American Idol: Meh. Haven't seen the girls sing yet. I'll probably speed through those in the 5 minutes I have between my shower and when Jack wakes up.

But PROJECT RUNWAY... oh yes I DID make the baby watch the finale while he had his refreshing glass of morning formula. If you have not yet seen the finale AND your world revolves around such things, STOP READING HERE!

I went into it thinking for sure twerpy Christian was going to win. And I say 'twerpy' with love. I really do. He's consistently the best designer on the show, plus he brings the drama. Instant winner, don't you think? But then Tim went around critiquing the collections and you guys, I hated Christian's collection. I don't care what Posh says, it was dark and scary and smacked of Chris March (who I love, but HUMAN HAIR?) Or maybe you could just say it was FIERCE and leave it at that.

I just thought it was too black and over the top and didn't have anything a normal woman would wear (which is Michael Kors's big thing, you know) and I just didn't get the Point of View. But that is why I am a chunky schlub and not Heidi Klum.

I wasn't as in love with Jillian's stuff as I thought I would be, coming off the regular season as a big Jillian fan. (Of her work, not necessarily HER. God. I can watch indecisive whininess just by standing in the mirror.) But again, I wasn't into the Inspiration. At least hers wasn't as dark and ruffly as Christian's and had decidedly fewer hats.

And I loved Rami's. I know that makes me an Average Boring American, but it was pretty! I loved that lace dress, I loved the drapey blouses and if I were 100 pounds skinnier and three feet taller I would be calling Rami up right this very second demanding a dress to wear to the wedding tomorrow (I WILL BE WEARING A FLOUR SACK) and then I will also have that Tresemme guy do my hair the way he did Jillian's models' hair. So floaty! So bouncy! So Amy Adams!

I knew Rami wouldn't win, based on his previous work. I think they do take all that stuff into consideration. I thought Nina would hate Christian's collection. I thought Jillian would win. And again, this is why I am not Heidi Klum. Anyway, when Christian started tearing up towards the end I started tearing up too. BECAUSE IT'S TWERPY CHRISTIAN! And DUDE, he's 21 years old! That's freaking amazing. And I was so happy to see him win, because you saw the difference between his design space and Rami's space and Rami seems to already have a market and, well, I don't know, it was just so HAPPY. And I love how that family just owns that kid. This is OUR fierce little twerp and we LOVE HIM. I know the lack of designer drama bored a lot of people this year, but I really appreciated it. I don't like the "tearing down" factor of so many reality shows (Dear Amazing Race: Please stop casting vicious married couples) so this season was really fun to watch.

Did you think Posh was serious when she kept saying that Christian's collection was so her style? I thought her style was miniskirts and tube tops stretched over skin and bones and fake boobs.

I've got to get ready to spend the day with my folks, so this is all you get. Oh, you could hop over to Parenting where I've waxed obnoxious over potentially having to move out of the city (think Jillian, with a bit of boring suburbia).

Can I just say, I would have loved to have you all over for Thin Mints and Project Runway last night. I think we would have had a splendid time.


God bless the Girl Scouts

This is how I watch American Idol:

  • Fast forward the contestant introductions.
  • Fast forward Ryan Seacrest.
  • Fast forward contestant interviews.
  • Fast forward to first song. Make guess about this week's theme. If I like the song, I'll watch it. Most of it. If I hate the song, I fast forward to the end. Liking it usually involves knowing the song, thinking the singer is okay, thinking it might be pretty good. Hating the song usually means the singer is making me cringe, either because of the vocals or the performance. I can't watch things that make me cringe. Which is why I fast forward 90% of this show.
  • Listen to Randy's comments.
  • Fast forward Paula's comments.
  • Listen to Simon's comments. If I missed the first part of his comments because I fast forwarded too much of Paula, I rewind a little. Simon is the best part.
  • Fast forward Ryan Seacrest.
  • Fast forward plea for phone calls.
  • Fast forward to the next song.

I can watch an episode of American Idol in under 15 minutes. Don't even get me started on the results show. (Fast forward till I get to the actual elimination. Five minutes tops.)

I'm not much of an AI fan. I did watch the first season religiously. Phillip was living in a house with a bunch of guys and I'd drive over there and we'd all sit glued to the TV. We were big Kelly fans. But then the novelty wore off (apparently only for me) and I haven't seen AI since. That's not to say I don't know who the contestants are when I open my US Weekly, but I'm just not that into it.

ENTER THE WRITERS STRIKE. Sometimes the only thing ON is American Idol and that is why I've been watching it. And now I have, like, my top two. They're not going to get me to CALL or anything, but you know. I'm probably going to watch. I like the little babyfaced boy (which is amazing, because I hate the songs he picks, but how can you hate that face? Do you hate puppies?) and I love love LOOOOOVE the blond girl with the first season Phoebe hair who sang the Carly Simon song. I actually caught the episode where this girl got sent on to Hollywood and I remember thinking, "She should do a Carly Simon song!" Maybe I like her because I love Carly Simon. Maybe because sometimes I dig out my aunt's Carly Simon piano book and bust out my own interpretation of 'Anticipation'.

Not so interested in anyone else. Oh, except the guy who rocked out on the Lionel Richie song. Loved that. Do not like the rocker girls. Did not love the rendition of 'Hallelujah'. It seemed somewhat blasphemous. THAT song? REALLY?

ANYWAY. My TV watching has taken a hit and this is what I'm reduced to. Woe.

Of course, there is always Lost. Last week's episode was so good you guys. Is anyone else watching this? I have been pulling for Desmond and Penny ever since we found out about them and OH YES I cried when he made that phone call! I am so happy they are pulling pieces together. There's still mystery galore, but you finally feel like you're getting an idea of what's happening. SO GOOD.

Oh, I also wanted to tell you that today I heard some girl say, "I'd love some, but I can't, I ate three Girl Scout cookies in my car." *Insert pause so everyone can finish rolling their eyes* I KNOW. Can YOU eat just three Thin Mints in one sitting? And if your answer to that is "Yes" we are so not going to be friends.


Where I went last night

Lack of posting today is brought to you by:

The Fug Girls

and

Ryan and Giuliana

and

The Manolo

and

the people who invented snark.

I watched (and cried through) the whole thing. It was, as they are saying, a little on the dull side, but I don't like the weepy Thank You Jesus! acceptance speeches anyway. I didn't even like that wussy 'Falling Through' song, but did I cry when they won the Oscar? You bet your pricey foundation garments I did.

Things I liked: Anne Hathaway's dress. And her skin. Oh, to have that skin. Everything about Marion Cotillard. Amy Adams singing that song from the movie I still have not seen. Johnny Depp: YUM. George Clooney: DOUBLE YUM. The Ratatouille guy's thank you speech. Diablo Cody's thank you speech. Tilda Swinton's thank you speech. Hannah Montana making sure to look fifteen and not twenty-five. When Javier Bardem thanked his mom in Spanish.

Things I hated: Cameron Diaz's dress. Did she roll out of bed? And call up Rami to say, "Can you pin up this sheet for me? I just don't feel like getting dressed." When Katherine Heigl told everyone she was nervous. When they didn't let the best song girl give her own thank you. 95% of the montages. The fact that I had seen all of ONE Oscar-nominated movie. Sucks having to be home by six every night, I tell you.

What'd you think? (Because I KNOW YOU PEOPLE, you put the Academy Awards on your calendar, just like me, DON'T LIE.)


Things that made me cry...

...on the way to my parents' house today. (Because no one reads this thing on Friday afternoons anyway.)

Oh, wait, before I make my list I have to tell you that I MEANT to listen to the rosary thing I downloaded to my iPod, but I couldn't figure out how to just listen to the rosary (well, I could, just not WHILE I WAS DRIVING) and it's rather distracting having your rosary interrupted by Justin Timberlake. So I figured God would give me a pass, at least until the drive home.

  1. When Galinda is singing about how she couldn't be happier, even though you know she's not happy at all, because what's his name is with Elphaba and waaaaahhhh POOR GALINDA. Now. Who cries for Galinda? WHO?
  2. The live version of 'This World' by Caedmon's Call. Does that band still exist? Are there other bands like them? If Christian radio ever played anything besides the gospelly and rock bandy stuff I might actually pay attention.
  3. I cried through all of 'The Luckiest' by Ben Folds. Have you LISTENED to that song? And the whole time I was all, am I The Luckiest because I have Jackson? No wait, I'm The Luckiest because I have Phillip and let's mentally draft that 5th anniversary post a whole four months ahead of time! Baaaawwwwwllll!
  4. Jamie Cullum's version of 'High and Dry'. I don't know. Whatever.
  5. A chapter of Harry Potter. What? You don't have the Harry Potter books loaded onto your iPod? I don't even remember what happens, but it was sniffle-worthy. Someone probably died.
  6. 'When I Get Where I'm Going' by Brad Paisley featuring Dolly Parton. I think this is the musical equivalent of a movie about a woman who gets cancer and dies right before she gets married. It's just SUPPOSED to make you cry.
  7. 'Toxic' by Britney Spears. Because it made me think about POOR BRITNEY and you guys, I know she wears those ripped up fishnet stockings and can't figure out how to use a hairbrush and has aged twenty years in the last six months, but I feel for poor Britney. Also, I can listen to 'Toxic' on repeat for hours, such is the awesomeness that is that song.

Anyway. Hormonal much?

Oh, and I have to tell you that as I sit here typing (because J is sleeping and I forgot half of the stuff I need to make the baby shower invitations I should have mailed out yesterday), my dad is sitting on the couch listening to Harry Potter on HIS iPod. How awesome is my dad? WAY AWESOME.





An appropriate dose of Prom

APPARENTLY you get your sleep-averse kid to sleep through the night by

  1. driving an hour away after his first (two hour!) nap
  2. taking him out to lunch
  3. going to visit his great-grandma
  4. letting him fall asleep in the car
  5. trying to put him down for a nap when you get inside
  6. finally letting him cry because your arms are ready to give out
  7. patting yourself on the back when he falls asleep minutes later
  8. going in to make sure he's covered up
  9. waking him up in the process, YOU IDIOT
  10. crossing your fingers he'll go back to sleep
  11. passing him off to your dad after you've given up
  12. shooting him the stinkeye all night because SERIOUSLY, what is the DEAL?
  13. telling your mom he'll probably have to go down before we even eat dinner
  14. not putting him down until 7
  15. getting him up at 8 to drive home
  16. giving him a bottle at 9 when we get home because HE DID NOT TAKE A BOTTLE ALL DAY LONG
  17. putting him to bed
  18. waking up at 6 when we hear his delightful little morning noises

WHATEVER.

Let's talk about Project Runway instead!

How awesome was the prom dress challenge? I will tell you. WAY AWESOME! I'm no fashion designer and I may have mentioned this before, but 99% of my wardrobe comes from Target, so I never really know what is good and what isn't. I know what I like, but it's not very often that what I like is also what wins. Well, sometimes. Do you remember Daniel V.'s blouse and skirt combo that was supposed to be inspired by an orchid or something? With the funky collar? I hated that. But everyone just thought it was the most beautiful thing ever and I am sitting on my couch squinting at the television trying to see what they see. So anyway. Me=Definitely No Nina Garcia.

But prom dresses? Having gone to prom (SIGH) I feel qualified to critique a prom dress.

Except! When did I get so old? We would have never worn a SHORT dress to prom at my high school. Short is for the other dances! The less fancy ones! Prom is when you get to pretend you are ROYALTY or at the very least, a MOVIE STAR on the RED CARPET.

Small but very relevant tangent: My aunt made my prom dress (she also made my wedding dress). I picked out a pattern and told her what fabrics and colors I liked (which she decided not to use, talk about staying true to your own vision) and then it was mailed to me in a box days before the prom. There weren't prom dress stores in Italy, people. And I honestly don't know how other people got their dresses. I think a lot of girls had relatives buy dresses for them and have them shipped over. There were a few in the BX (crap military store) but no one wanted a dress from the BX because HELLO everyone would know it came from the BX! Not cool. Oh, I guess my sisters would buy their dresses ahead of time in the summers when we were visiting the states. ANYWAY. My dress was sort of a Pride and Prejudice style empire waisted thing with lace cap sleeves and beaded trim and was my favorite thing about prom- oh wait, my ONLY favorite thing about prom since I hated my hair, my date was a pothead and I had to sit next to the guy I really wanted to go with at the sit down dinner beforehand who was sitting next to his GIRLFRIEND. Who, uh, happened to be the sister of one of my best friends. HOW EVIL WAS MY HIGH SCHOOL SELF?

So! I am watching all these giddy Catholic school girls get all excited about Designer! Dresses! and thinking to myself: IF ONLY THEY KNEW.

Attention high school girls! Unless you are looking for a Traumatic Youthful Story to draw on when you are a Future Angst-Filled Writer, for the love of God, STAY AWAY FROM THE PROM!

(If some of you had awesome times at your prom, rest assured I don't want to hear about it.)

Moving on!

Did you feel sorry for Christian, or what? He shouldn't have called her out like that on the runway, but I probably would have stabbed her with my scissors before we even GOT to the runway. I would have liked his dress if it were a little longer. I didn't think it was as horrible as he made it out to be. And I've never seen Tim Gunn buck someone up the way he did with Christian. It's like TIM wanted to stab the client with the scissors!

I thought Raimi's dress would have been really pretty if it was a shimmery lighter color and also long. I vote for the Long!

I liked Jillian's dress, but I'm never a fan of accentuating one's Assets in that way.

Victorya's dress was cute, but like I said before, I don't get the short dresses. They just don't seem fancy enough.

Like Sweet P's dress. Loved it! Although I kind of agreed with Nina about it being sort of Angelina Jolie for a 17-year-old. But so pretty.

My favorite might have been Chris's dress. But maybe that's because I loved how his client and her mom were so shocked to see that he was the model in his portfolio. Heh.

Kevin's dress was yuck. He deserved to go. And I didn't get his attitude beforehand, like he just wasn't going to deal with things he KNEW were going to get him in trouble!

I actually liked Ricky's dress a lot. It was really cute, but it should have been a few shades darker. I liked the sparkly around the waist.

Was there anyone else? I can't remember. Pretty much the whole time I was composing a letter to Project Runway in my head that went something like: Dear Heidi Klum, thank you for combining Tim Gunn and high school girls, this was the best ever, love Maggie.

I really really like the Real People challenges. Where there is a client and a request and a result someone will actually wear. The candy challenge? Not so much.

I'd like to mention the sadness that is The Daily Show without the writers, but I need a shower before the boy wakes up.


Television Thursday- maybe later

I have a new post up at Parenting today about the Sheer Trauma that was leaving my child overnight with his grandparents last weekend. As if you do not get enough of the Sheer Trauma here!

I have a whole list of things I wanted to share today, most of which involve television. And a little bit of Jamie Lynn Spears, to whom the scandalized media has pinned the giant letters U. H. which stand for UNDERAGE HARLOT. Seriously, I thought I could see the horrified and scandalized spittle flying out of their mouths. Ugh.

But my parents are here and Jack didn't take his morning nap and I still have the Raspy Voiced My Head Feels THIS BIG Cold and we are supposed to go shopping. So I have posted my obligatory Hey! This is What's Happening At Parenting Today sentence and hopefully I will be back later to dish on all things TV related. I know. You are on the EDGE OF YOUR SEAT.


A French maid goes to a funeral

Hey there [all four] readers of mine. I've got a new gig. I'd just love it if you stopped by and told me I look pretty. And I will, as always, stoop to bribery. Christmas cookies? Love letters? Laundry? I'm pretty good at folding fitted sheets.

Anyway. On to more important matters, like the thorn in every couch potato's side: THE WRITERS STRIKE.

Is your TiFaux as empty as mine? Weep!

Thank God for Project Runway, the latest episode of which I watched this morning during naptime, instead of packing up the car and getting everything ready to spend the entire day at my parents' house. See, I TELL you I'm busy and efficient, but really I'm just watching television.

So last night's challenge (and for the love of God all four readers! If you haven't seen it yet, stop reading!) was probably my favorite challenge EVER! I loved it! I know fashion isn't necessarily about, you know, clothes that real people wear, as opposed to costumes for Paris Hilton and her ilk. But I'm always wishing PR would do a few more real life challenges. How cool would it have been if there'd been a maternity wear challenge back when the Queen of Project Runway was pregnant?  WAY COOL.

Add to that the fact that these women lost, like, entire PERSONS. And that they were actually wearing their old clothes. I just thought it was the most awesome thing ever. I may have shed a few tears. Shoot. If it were me standing up there 150 pounds lighter and waiting for an honest to goodness fashion designer to make something especially for ME, that I would then model down the runway in front of NINA GARCIA, I'd die of the thrill. God could just take me right then and there BECAUSE I WOULD NEVER BE HAPPIER.

I was sad about Jack leaving, not least because he is pretty to look at, in a plasticky Ken doll sort of way. What a bummer. You have to be all,. "This is the opportunity! Of a lifetime!" (did you read that with Heidi's voice in your head?) or "Hmm, do I want my face to turn black and fall off because I wanted to win a brand new Saturn?" And gosh, Tim is always so classy, asking the designers to Gather Round and Make A Sad Tearful Scene That Will Make Maggie Sniffle Despite Her Cold Black Reality Television Loving Heart.

But yay for bringing back Chris. I don't know what you think, but it seems like the designers are a nicer bunch this season. You've got your weirdos (spit marking, anyone?) but no one seems to be all out mean and nasty. And I prefer the nice. Christian may have an ego as big as his hair, but he doesn't seem to be too much of a jerk about it. (Also, his outfit last night? LOVED IT.)

One of my favorites was Steven so I was bummed to see him go. To be honest, his outfit was dreadful. I don't know what I would have done with that godawful wedding dress either, but that is why I am not a fashion designer. (Or a fashion anything, really. My wardrobe consists of several pairs of well-loved jeans and every kind of t-shirt they sell at Target.) His dress was so bad. SO BAD. But he was so funny in his interviews (confessionals?) and didn't seem to be too caught up in the Drama. Oh well.

Do you think Jillian and Victorya are going to crash and burn? I get the feeling they're being set up for future episodes...

Anyway, I think every episode of Project Runway is a blast, but I really liked challenging the designers to design real clothes for real people. It's not as glamorous as gowns to wear to the Grammys, but we got to see another side of the designers. And on a reality show, the contestants are the characters.

Who do you think the top 3 will be?

I have some things I want to say about Friday Night Lights, but we'll save that for another day. I just finished up FNL and Ugly Betty and a few other shows. (How did Ugly Betty score all those fantastic actors? Detective Leo! Harold! Carla's brother!) (If you know the actors I'm talking about WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?)

Oh, and is anyone watching Samantha Who? I love this show. More thoughts on that one too. Later. When I am not starving and deciding between a light healthy salad or a mountain of freshly baked Christmas cookies. Goodbye weight loss! I COULD have made it to my pre-pregnancy weight in time for my party, but HELLO there are five kinds of COOKIE DOUGH chilling in my fridge. YOU try ignoring that.


No, I did not forget to post today

But that doesn't mean I have anything interesting to say.

Which means a television post! Whee! You television-less people (AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) can skip this and come back tomorrow. Ciao!

I just started watching Brothers & Sisters. I love this show. How come no one told me to watch this show? AMY ABBOTT is on this show! I'm going to have to go back and rent the first season on DVD. You know, to fill in all that extra time I've got lying around.

Speaking of Amy Abbott, whatever happened to Bright?

I'm also loving Dirty Sexy Money. The name makes it sound kinda yucky, but it's actually super fun. I love big dysfunctional family shows (how I miss you, Arrested Development) and this one is hilarious. It's hokey and cheesy and waaaay over the top, but FUNNY. (And evil. There is lots of evil.) Also, for the first time ever, I do not hate Samaire Armstrong. In the role of Spoiled Rich Twin, she is divine.

I think that's my favorite new show so far. I haven't watched Chuck in a while, although the "Chuck finds out WHY!" previews are piquing my interest again. We TiVo'd Aliens in America, but I don't really like the joke. Or the fact that Luke plays the dad. What is he doing there? Aren't he and Lorelei out being happy ever after? Do you think I have problems distinguishing reality from, uh, not reality? I haven't seen this week's Heroes yet because we're saving it to watch with friends tomorrow night, but I am LOVING Kristen Bell. She's like the EVIL Veronica Mars. I mean, if she had to be something other than Veronica Mars, I am very okay with this new Elle person. So far. Friday Night Lights is getting better. Coach is back, Julie got what she deserved (CALL ME, MATT!), Riggins is delish and it looks like we're going to straighten this Landry thing out pretty soon. I hope. Landry is one of my favorite characters on this show and my heart may have broken into a million zillion pieces when Tyra was all, "Have you looked in the mirror? Like I could date YOU." WAAAAAHHH. (CALL ME, LANDRY!)

I will be the frillionth person to say, "What the hell are you doing, Betty Suarez?!" I hope Betty hooks up with the Sandwich Dude pretty soon. I am rather bored with Henry, although I loved the Wicked episode. Maybe because I knew all the songs and maybe because I was singing along in my house and the baby was looking at me like, "God, Mom, could you stop embarrassing me?" Oooh, the Posh Spice episode is tonight, huh? Yay!

Does anyone wish the piemaker would drop the doe-eyed dead girl and start dating Olive already? Olive is the awesomest! This show (Pushing Daisies) is cute and quirky and has a lot in its favor, but the dead girl is just kind of blah to me. The other characters all have a bit of an edge (I ADORE the aunts. ADORE.) but the dead girl? Meh. But Olive is destined to be The Other Woman and we're supposed to be rooting for the piemaker and the dead girl and... sigh. At least Emerson is there to voice my irritation every so often. (Oh, and does anyone else feel positively HAUNTED by Harry Potter? Because the narrator (Jim Dale) is the guy who reads the Harry Potter stories for the books on tape? Am I the only person who knows this? And is constantly expecting Ron Weasley to get hired at the Pie Hole or Voldemort to figure out how to get the piemaker to wake him from the dead?)

What other shows do I watch? I know I've got a few more snotty opinions around here somewhere. Maybe I am a little too excited about the upcoming premiere of Project Runway to think about other shows. That must be it.

Although.

Are any of you watching The Amazing Race? Just started on Sunday? Anyone?

Okay, your discussion topic for today is: how long do you think before Kynt and Vyxsin (did I even spell that right?) decide the goth makeup is just not worth the effort that day?

Kv

And when did pink become goth?