Way back when The Blathering was just a harebrained Escape To Sacramento pie-in-the-sky idea, someone sent an email that shrieked, "I JUST WANT TO SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT!" And it took off from there. The Blathering would be a weekend of rest and relaxation (and wine) for the hardworking women of the internet. And I remember thinking, "Unless it turns into a SLUMBER PARTY" and also "With inevitable INEBRIATION" but I mostly kept these contrary and doubtful thoughts to myself. So I think it's rather UNFORTUNATE that I am apparently the only Blatheringer who feels like she was slammed by a truck, then run over by a high school football team, smooshed into the floor by a horde of frantic elephants, then scraped off the hardwoods with a nail file and dumped into the compost bin. In a GOOD way, of course, but still. Compost.
This has mostly to do with the fact that I woke up with a cold on Friday morning. "OH WELL," I told myself. "My hotel-mates will just have to SUCK IT UP." But then Friday night happened and, in case you were wondering, Sudafed plus an empty stomach plus half a case of Astrale e Terra syrah is not a particularly wise combination for wanting to feel well on Saturday.
I woke up ninety-seven times that night, and it wasn't until the ninety-first time that it didn't take me a full ten minutes to remember I was in a hotel room with my Blathering hotel-mates. Possibly because one particular hotel-mate was SNUGGLING WITH ME.
AND THEN. When you kind of yank yourself up to standing in order to participate in the fun of Saturday night, you feel very much like you've been whacked with a hammer on Sunday morning. Which is why it's smart to plan to get someone else to make you breakfast, preferably orange French toast and fancy bacon. (I KNOW. How smart of me!)
So here I am on Monday, feeling flattened by a cold, by a days-old hangover, by sleep deprivation in my hotel room AND at home. And everyone is posting these swoony weekend recap posts and maybe I'm getting a little sniffly reading them all but then I ask for someone to please pass the Advil AND the Robitussin AND the leftover pink wine in the fridge and I go back to being an invalid on my in-laws' couch.
But the blawg, it must be updated, and UPDATED IT SHALL BE. Just not as nicely as everyone else's blawg. (Notably Elizabeth's. SOB. She pretty much said it all.)
So herewith, The Best Bits of The Blathering, As Determined By Maggie "How Come No One Else Is Hungover? Oh Wait, Thank God Moose Is Here To Suffer With Me" Cheung.
- The informational packets and the drink flags and all the other Blathering Ephemera that was discussed in such minute detail via Google Chat with Elizabeth these last few weeks. It was WAY exciting to see them in PERSON.
- As it was to taste the FOOD (also discussed in minute detail) and PEOPLE. Get thee to Elizabeth's house before the tomatoes are gone. (I have three on my counter.) (No, you may not have them.)
- When the hotel clerk called after me: "Oh! Could you come back and sign this No Parties In The Hotel Room Policy?" mere SECONDS after Manda and Emily's arrival. It's like he KNEW.
- Friday night. All of it.
- Whitney's story. The second one. I'd tell you, but the amount of blushing would send me to the ER.
- The fact that every time we had to all pay one bill, nearly everyone used cash and we always had enough. You have no idea how much I was stressing over how sixteen women were going to split one dinner bill.
- Ditching a morning of shopping to drink Coke (GAK. But it helped the hangover!) on the couch with Elizabeth.
- When Jennie poured me another glass of wine, but only two drops came out. Okay, that was sad. But also, perhaps because I'd lost track of what glass of wine it happened to be: HILARIOUS.
- DANCING. Dude. It has been a loooooong time. BUT I STILL GOT IT, YO!
- Getting dressed up with my hotel mates. Well, pretty much everything with my hotel mates, who, even though they were a bazillion times more extroverted than me, therefore providing plenty of opportunities for me to feel Dorky and Unfun and LAME, were nothing but THE AWESOME.
- Listening to Manda dictate everyone's Twitter posts at the end of the night.
- The precious few minutes I got to talk with Annie and Shelby before we headed to lunch.
- Natalie, who provided the most fun and least snobby wine tasting I'VE ever participated in.
- All the local Sacramento ladies who Knew Where To Go.
- Oh, and I can't forget: champagne in a can. Strangely cute, inexplicably tasty.
SEE YOU NEXT YEAR!