More seven quick takes

1. I just put the kids down for the night. This is Phillip's monthly late night at the office and doing bedtime on my own isn't QUITE the hellish chore it was a few months ago, but today came close to driving me round the bend and, well, let's just say the children better stay quiet. Jack is still working on his molars, Molly's working on the little teeth next to her top teeth, as well as a snotty nose and they still aren't accustomed to being in the same room. Those are all my excuses for being too tired to eat dinner. WHICH IS VERY TIRED. I am now TOTALLY confused as to why anyone who DOESN'T have to have their kids share a room even CONSIDERS it. Either your kids are terrific sleepers or having a guest room trumps sleeping through the night. In either case I'm not sure we can be friends.

2. I wore shorts today. In public. And didn't think twice about it until I got home and realized I WORE SHORTS IN PUBLIC. The last time I wore shorts outside of my house.... I can't remember. Definitely pre-children. And yes, I may have lost the baby weight, but I'm thinking I should still confine the shorts-wearing to my living room. My legs and my shorts are THE SAME COLOR.

3. While we're talking appearances, let's discuss hair. Mine is long and stringy and now that my bangs have mostly grown out, vaguely reminiscent of high school. Faaaabulous. I sort of enjoy the longness, even though Molly thinks pulling my hair is akin to pulling the dinnerbell rope, and even though the underside of my ponytail gets disgustingly wet and gross when I'm on the treadmill. But my bangs... the girl who cuts my hair suggested growing them out because its lower maintenance (she didn't add that I don't go to the salon for the recommended intervals and obviously can't be trusted to even DO my own hair) so I grew them out. But now I've got the post-partum hair growth going on (even though I am STILL pulling out handfuls of hair every morning, WOE) and the bangs area is looking pretty sketchy. I'm not sporting the bald patches anymore, but I've got short spiky hairs jutting out of my hairline every which way and you know what would fix that? BANGS.

4. I am going on a date with Mona Saturday morning. I mean PLAYDATE. Totally a playdate. I was psyching myself up for the drive along If There's An Earthquake You Are So Dead Highway down to her 'hood, but today she offered to scrap that plan in favor of seeing the Jim Henson Muppet exhibit at the EMP, for which she has super cool fancy important media passes. And I was all, "MEEEEE?" And then, "REEEEALLY? MEEEEE?" You guys I am So. Excited. And Jack is going to have a blast. He loves Bert and Ernie almost as much as I do.

5. Yesterday I told you that Jack is 25th percentile for weight, but what I didn't tell you is that he's 50th percentile for height. This piece of information left me speechless. Here I've been going around thinking I have THE shrimpiest kid on the planet. I mean, stand my boy next to every single one of his little girlfriends and they could all beat him up blindfolded. And my poor family, thinking, "Here's our last hope for an NBA star!" even though I've told them a million times that Phillip is a mutant and that every other man in his family is my height or smaller (and, SIGH, weighs less) than me. But I'm breathing a little easier tonight. All that milk consumption may not be so good for the digestive tract (ahem) but at least it's helping him out in the bone-growing department.

6. So one of last week's seven quick takes was about Phillip going to see that Star Trek movie with coworkers. (Do you like how I called it THAT Star Trek movie? Again: the things I do to annoy him!) Aaand one of his coworkers told his wife he had a "work dinner" and neglected to MENTION the Star Trek movie. Now. We can speculate as to why he failed to mention the movie (I am guessing he was EMBARRASSED) (AGAIN with the annoying! I am HILARIOUS!) but this is not the point. The point is that HIS WIFE READS MY WEBSITE. (Hi Gina!) And so she knew. And she told him that she knew. And then he told Phillip that she knew. And then Phillip told me and I thought that was the funniest thing EVER. But you'd think the little stretchy jumpsuit and pointy ears he'd packed in his work bag that morning might have given it away.

7. I went to Target this afternoon (scene of the shorts crime) to save my own sanity. I bought four shirts without trying them on and GUESS WHAT. None of them fit. Shopping FAIL. I did, however, buy four frillion jars of baby food since they were FORTY-SIX CENTS EACH. That is a good deal, my friends. And no, I do not want to hear about how it would be even cheaper to make my own.

Oh! I do believe I hear the first whine of the night. Excellent! I'll be going now!

Comments

[Kate P]

1. My niece & nephew are even closer in age than your kids and share a room, but I think they were a little older when they started rooming together. So I can tell you it does get better. . .

4. That exhibit sounds awesome. Heck, the whole museum does.

[Jen]

My hair is doing the same thing with the spiky growth out the side of my head but also the handfulls. Woe as well.

[Tracy]

Jack sounds about perfect to me! Not shrimpy at all.

still laughing at the little stretchy jumpsuit, LOL... (but I totally loved the movie... would go again too, if I had time!)

[Manda]

Thank goodness someone else has the crazy weird mom hairdo. It's starting to look like Billy Ray Cyrus circa 1993 up in here!!

[Christiana]

My daughter is the opposite - 25th for height, 50th for weight - she's the roly poly girl next to your string bean. :)

Want easy natural color for those pastey legs? Try the Jergens tanning sunless tanning lotion. I'm using it in preparation for the family reunion/beach vacation and it looks really good. Natural, and darker than natural me, but still okay compared to the parts of me that aren't getting the lotion. $7 AT tARGET.

[Jess]

I am SO GLAD we have enough bedrooms to house all possible future children. Unless the second child is QUADRUPLETS.

[Moose]

Wait. Back up. JIM HENSON MUPPET EXHIBIT? It's like my mecca.