In support of the Community, rah rah rah

A week or two ago I was watching the local morning news while I gave Molly her bottle, and we're talking Irritatingly Early. I was bleary-eyed, pouting about Jack and Phillip still cozy in bed and thinking I would complain about this very thing on my blawg that day.

AND THEN. There was a segment on women, mothers in particular, spending "too much time" online. A female reporter introduced the segment, spouted off a few alarming statistics and trotted out her Expert, some therapist (also a woman) who specialized in "internet addiction". Blah blah blah, you've heard it all before, and the best part was the Witty Banter between the reporter and the anchor (both women) at the end, where the anchor confessed to spending a lot of time on her Facebook page and the reporter cluck clucked and said, "but it's really no substitute for personal interaction" or some such, well, let's call it TRIPE.

I was Annoyed. I was ALMOST annoyed enough to write a snippy email to the producer, or maybe direct tweet the anchor to express my dissatisfaction. Yes, yes, I do believe "internet addiction" is possible, and I will even happily concede the fact that online relationships are not equal to real life relationships. HOWEVER. You know what word was not mentioned? Not once? Not ever? BLOG. These reporters (who were WOMEN and, quite possibly MOTHERS) were reporting on the amount of time women spend online, specifically MOTHERS, and they somehow neglected to discuss BLOGS. (Or "isolation" or "community" or any of the other stuff they should have mentioned.) And so. Obviously they have no idea what they are talking about.

(You know what word they did use? CHAT. As in "chat site", as in mothers spending a lot of time on CHAT SITES. Not that people don't use chat sites or whatever but My Goodness, Local News, way to make the local mothers feel like Skeevy Adult Theater Patrons.)

Anyway. I have no use for those discussions. The only ones worth my attention are the ones written by the bloggers themselves, who do enough handwringing over real life vs. online friends to make you realize we (we being mothers who spend a lot, and possibly too much, time online, come on, admit it) do not need a therapist specializing in internet addiction to make us feel bad about ourselves.

So it was funny when Lindsay Spacebooke dropped by my house today, because until she mentioned her husband and brother being slightly concerned about her driving into the Unknown to visit a Sketchy Blogger Type, I didn't even think about the Possible Bizarro-ness of the situation. Because, and people who don't read blogs will think this is weird, but I totally feel like I KNOW Lindsay. She's been leaving me hilarious comments for I don't know how long, I love love love her own blog and I was BESIDE MYSELF when she wrote she was headed to Seattle for her brother's wedding. Because (and maybe she didn't know it yet) she was going to have to hang out with ME. OBVIOUSLY.

I don't know. I just don't think (and pay attention local internet-stupid reporters) "mommyblogger" equates to "Craigslist weirdo". I mean, yeah, it happens, but when Lindsay walked up my stairs and found  Liz and myself hanging out on the floor making toy food sandwiches with Lucy and Molly and Jack, it might be exactly what she expected.

 

Playdate with Lindsay! Also! Bonus play kitchen peek!

Lindsay sports a rad haircut and works the Canadian "aboots" and didn't flinch when I more or less deposited Molly in her lap so I could deal with my other child. It was super fun, and one of my favorite things about meeting other bloggers is the way you can sort of zoom past the small talk. The only terrifying thing is the certainty that my Real Life Self is a total letdown, but whatever. (Lindsay does not have this problem, as she is even funner than her website makes her out to be. SIGH. If only we were ALL so cool.) Like we noted to each other, while solemnly nodding our heads in utter agreement- you DO feel like you know the people who read your website. Next time you're in town, you are ALL invited to my house.

So. Bite me, local news reporters and your barely-informed "internet addiction" segments. I don't know why you had to harp on the MOMS either. Boo hiss.

Comments

[Kate P]

If I didn't know better, I'd say those news people were ENVIOUS of the good thing we've got going here.

[Elizabeth]

While I was reading this I started to think about being a SAHM without the internet and I honestly kind of wanted to throw up.
Just wait until you find out how boring I am in person, you'll never worry about yourself again :)

[Lindsay]

Oh Maggie you are so kind! Good times had by all! I love how Jack is most likely eyeing the plate of cookies out of view of the camera in this pic. HA, I don't blame him really, they were excellent.

[Carrie]

I saw that segment too- and I know many of my friends saw it and thought of me. But I agree- it's not like we're just playing games online all day or something, we're making friends and communicating and keeping from going utterly insane. And I'm not neglecting my kids or responsibilities to be online, so those people need to get over it.

Seriously, today it's pouring down rain and I'm 8 months pregnant and home with a toddler and if I didn't have blogs to read and write and message boards to visit... let's just say things would not be pretty by 7 PM when my hubby comes home :)

Love the picture of the kids and Lindsay. How adorable!

And you are not a letdown in real life. Seriously.

[Lindsay]

I think that it's a valid concern for EVERYONE, but as long as people aren't relying solely on the internet, I do not see the problem. Journaling has been shown to be a healthy coping mechanism for people. For a lot of people, that's what blogging is. If it's preventing someone from going out and murdering people, I fully support that. Sometimes you just can't be YOU around everyone else you see day in and day out, and sometimes you just need an escape. I see this to be more of a problem for children, though, as they'll grow up with this and have less interaction and will probably be more socially awkward. But they'll deal. Every generation has SOMETHING. This is theirs. I think they'll be fine.

[Nessa]

I think it's sad that they neglected to discuss the blog side and the loneliness some moms feel(not from experience, just from READING ABOUT IT ON BLOGS). And I agree with you about the "knowing" online people. I feel like I know everyone I read regularly and woulnd't think twice about meeting in person. Every now and then I have to remind myself that I've never met anyone in real life and for all I know they could be really creepy. But I highly doubt that. Like I said - I feel like I know everyone - Sometimes better than RL people.

[Liz]

What if you weren't on the internets and I NEVER MET YOU?? That is an alternate reality I don't want to live in. I'd still be isolated and lonely with my horrible QA moms as "support" - UGH!

[Angela Noelle]

Agreed. The media always makes internet users out to be creepy, completely socially inept types. It's so frustrating and I wonder if they realize how out of touch it makes THEM look?

[Christiana]

My husband and I had a discussion the other day about the amount of time I spend online - the dichotomy of the situation is that I am a social person, I need a social outlet and I'm depressed without it but they say that too much time in front of a computer can also cause depression. Eh.

But I think that reporters should definitely do ALL the research before they start talking about such things. I seriously feel like I know you - and several others who's blogs I read. I'd be totally okay w/ meeting these bloggers in their homes or in mine if we were in the same town at any given point. (I've actually suggested moving to Seattle to my husband recently)

[Kels]

I have personally watched on The Today Show segments on moms who use blogs, and other parts of the internet to interact and how important it is (says a psychologist!) for them to communicate with other moms. I could not find the video, but forget local news... national news says go for it!

[Jen]

Are they serious? Some of my best friends live inside the computer. And each blog friend that I have met in real life has been TOTALLY AWESOME. It's like pre-screening your friends.

[Lisa]

Thanks for the invite! I'll totally take you up on it if I ever find myself in the Seattle area. Which is unlikely, even though my BIL lives there with his family. My husband and his brother don't really have that kind of relationship. But STILL. It's nice to know we have a place to hang, just in case.

[annie]

I don't think that people really "get" the whole blog thing. Especially the "mommy blog" thing. I don't think that they realize the kinship - the support that we all gain from each other. Okay, well, that *I* (she who never updates her blog) gain from all of *you* (they who keep me entertained and consoled all week long). My husband even gives me funny looks sometimes when I relate a story from a blogger, as I rarely say "Maggie...you know the one whose blog I read...did blah blah blah" but skip right along to "Maggie to Jack to blah blah today and blah blah blah." My poor husband - I can just see the wheels turning in his head trying to figure out who is Maggie and who is Jack? But it really is a special community and SOOOO HELPFUL!!!! So Blawg on, my friend, and keep up the good work.

[Christina]

What fun! I am jealous and mad at myself because *I* could have met you if only I weren't so lame back when I lived in the wetlands!
And I totally agree too... they had NO idea what they were talking about - nor what they're missing out on!!

[Charlotte]

I must admit if I am ever in Seattle I intend to invite myself over and/or force you to dine with me as I roll my eyes and scoff at things. Hilarity will ensue.

[Charlotte]

Oh and if you're ever here in NYC I expect to be able to forcefeed you dim sum or chocolate. Probably both.

[Elsha]

I totally feel like I know the people whose blogs I read. And I'm always telling my husband stories that start with-- today I was reading this blog... I think he would think I was crazy except lots of his stories involve people he meets playing some online game.