This one? No substance whatsoever.

The Molly Sleep Situation has regressed to Month Four levels. Jack threw up twice yesterday which means no playgroup this morning, which means no fun for me. They're both asleep right now, which is how I'm justifying this quick breaking of the Internet Fast. No kids to neglect! Also: if Jack keeps barfing every time we put him in the nursery at church, someone is going to pay. Probably me, in the form of Not Getting To Pay Attention all over again. 

It looks sunny outside, so maybe we can trek to the park. Although the weather the last couple days has been something like out of the Book of Revelation, so I should be careful. I don't want to drive a double stroller in a hail storm. Or a plague of locusts. 

Last night I met a friend for coffee and then offered to drive her home, since she totaled her car a few months ago and has been bussing it ever since. So we get in my car (which she was all, "Where's the Jetta?" and I'm all, "Shut up about my mini minivan, dude." and she's all, "No! It's GREAT!" and I'm all, "LAY OFF") and we're driving out of the parking lot when my car makes a HORRIFIC BEEPING SOUND. 

It scared the pants off me, people, and occurred right after I said something like, "Driving stresses me out." Which, why did I even say that? Because it's not true. Driving often UN stresses me. Oh, we were talking about the bus and I was saying I missed The Bus, Population: Crazies and how it used to be the way I could actually read a book and blah blah blah. Which: okay. Whatever. Driving doesn't stress me out because I can't sit there and read a book but WHATEVER. 

Anyway, it was a smidge embarrassing, not least because I had no freaking idea what the beeping was about and mysterious beeping is never a good thing and OMG WHAT IF THE CAR BLOWS UP. Meanwhile, my friend is sitting there thinking she should have just taken the bus, at least then she'd be with Proper Crazies and not someone made temporARILY crazy by horrific beeping sounds.

(Tangent! I once thought my car WAS going to blow up - there was smoke! coming out of the hood! - and I thought this was a good reason to immediately vacate my car ON A BRIDGE which therefore caused a horrendous backup, and even though I was a nice girl waving at drivers because my cell phone was dead and I needed help, it was FOREVER AND EVER until someone stopped to say, "You can probably drive your car off this bridge and right into the shop at the the other end." And this person was not only right, but kind for not adding, "YOU EFFING MORON," to the end of that sentence. I still pray for her.)

So I pulled into another parking space and stared at the dash as if it would magically explain what was going on. And it did, in it's own way- a weird little light came on, but unfortunately I don't speak Dashboard and was still very confused. I decided to turn off the car and turn it back on. You know, like rebooting a computer. Every time I complain about my computer Phillip barks, "REBOOT" before I'm even done talking. Works for cars too, right? 

The weird little light was back on, and now the radio display was dark, but there was no beeping and I managed to get my friend home. When I dropped her off she said, "Do you have your cell phone?" and I said "Of course!" reaching to pull it out of my bag, thinking she wanted a number or something. But no, she was just making sure I wouldn't be stranded if something DID happen to the car. Which is how distracted I get, people. I wasn't even thinking about getting Stranded. 

Then I drive home wondering why the radio isn't working and how NOT FAIR it is that the radio isn't working the one time I get to drive ALL BY MYSELF. What is driving all by yourself FOR if not to sing at the top of your weak little lungs? So that was a bummer. Oh, and then I forgot to tell Phillip something was Up with the car until, I don't know, an hour later. At which point he very still and stern with the, "What KIND of light?" And I said, "It looks like parentheses with an exclamation point in the middle!" I mortify my own self, folks. 

I also told him about the radio and he said, and I quote, "Did you try turning it ON?" And YES, YES I DID. STILL BROKEN. 

Phillip immediately fled to the garage to decipher the mysterious light. Two minutes later he shouted upstairs that he'd be leaving to fill up the tires. Aha! Air pressure! And, when HE turned on the car, the radio was working FINE, he doesn't know WHAT I'm talking about. 

And that was my evening. It was great!

The children are stirring so I better go. Why don't you head over to read Lisa's interview? She posted Friday but I am so behind in my blogs (BLASTED INTERNET FAST) that I only read it yesterday. (Because she, ah, reminded me in the comments. FOR SHAME.) Lisa's working on adoption #2 and has some interesting things to say about people supporting adoption and whether she'll go back to work eventually (a topic I've been thinking about a lot lately, and on which I wrote a 5000 word blog post last night that is now in the Recycle Bin where it belongs.) (You: Shouldn't this one go there too?) 

Comments

[Lisa]

OMG, I'm with you on the car thing, and why don't they make those indicator lights, like, the FIRST thing in the owner's manual? Because you know that the first time you ever go to the manual is to find out what that blinking light means.

Oh, and my car is doing a weird radio thing too. I'm convinced there's something deeply wrong electrically, but the mechanic can't find anything.

[Carrie]

hope Jack feels better soon.

As you know, we have the same car, and that light confused us the first time it came on too. We were visiting friends in the middle of nowhere, Idaho, and had to pull out the drivers manual and page through until we found the little icon and deciphered it. They need to make it more obvious.

Hope you have a good day, despite the illness visiting your home!

[Manda]

Don't you HATE it when your husband goes out to the car and whatever was wrong is now MAGICALLY not wrong?! IT SUCKETH.
Also, I agree, it is HIGHLY suspect that Jack barfs soon after going to the nursery at church. I would consider posting a sign on the door "IF YOUR KID IS SICK, DO NOT LEAVETH THEM HERETH." (this comment brought to you by KJV, ha)

[Jen]

Books on CD! They totally solve the problem of not being able to read while you are driving. I buy most of mine, since I listen to them over and over, but libraries have them for free too.

[Tracy]

I do not like the dashboard lights. I can never figure them out. And even worse, I rarely can do what they want me to do.

[Julie]

After I stopped to get gas today, and turned my car on, it made this horrible screeching noise and my first thought was "Oh, that sucks for whoever that car belongs to" and then a split second later I realized it was mine, and shut off the ignition as fast as I could to make it stop. I hesitated for a minute, and then tried it again - same thing. And then I heard a *pop* and then saw SMOKE drifting up from between where the steering wheel connects to the part that the turn signal things stick out of. And then I thought, holy f*ck, my car is on fire, getoutgetoutgetout.

I didn't get out, because just as soon as the smoke was there it was gone again, so I quickly dialed my boyfriend (of 6 years - he's had to deal with all my car drama) and explained to him what happened, and he said "try it again" and so I did, and....nothing. Started just fine - no screeching, no smoke. And he says "I don't know what to tell you."

I know he totally didn't believe me about the smoke.

[Lindsay]

Au contraire, prickly pear, I LOVED this post. I've been feeling less than spectacular health-wise, and it cheered me up and made me laugh.

[Jess]

No, I like this post! My car started smoking once and it turned out that it had something to do with the fact that I, um, had totally let it run out of oil. Hence, Torsten now deals with all things car.

[Christina]

There you go again, cracking me up and making me completely ignore whatever my husband is saying because I am so caught up in your Car Drama.

I have had many such Car Dramas myself. Once I left my car at the side of the road about a block from my work because it just Felt Weird and I refused to drive it (totally that "It's going to blow up" feeling!) and I had it towed and they looked it over and found exactly NOTHING wrong with it. (Hubby says they "guessed" and did something and charged us a lot of money, just for the fun of it.) Yeah, I felt a little dumb. But that car was freaky that way, I swear.

[Lindsay]

Maybe I just have low blood sugar but I found this and the comments hilarious. I've done a lot of stupid things car related, one of which was to phone my dad and apologize for blowing the transmission in the truck. The tow truck driver had the truck loaded onto a flat bed tow truck, and then at the very end found out I just had the truck in neutral. Oops!

[Kate P]

Alarming Car Story always makes a post substantial. Yikes, but glad it was just tire pressure--I guess they're making cars very "emo" these days or something?

[Tara]

So what about the 5000 word post re: going back to work??

Sorry to hear you guys are all sick! Boo.

[Charlotte]

I don't drive. Evah. Don't even have a license. Have no intention of ever owning a car. Because I'm ever so green? No, because when I took my first driving lesson an old lady jumped out in front of my car and I thought I'd killed her. Instead of breaking I just put my hands over my face and said, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." My driving instructor a) breaked for me, b) laughed until there were tears streaming down his face. There you have it.