The Anticlimactic Conclusion to the OMG New Neighbors Have A Baby Story

I picked a bad day, you guys. Just all around rotten and un-fun.

I picked today because 1) if Mr. Neighbor was going back to work this would be the day and 2) I was getting tired of sitting around deciding when to introduce myself. Believe it or not, I don't spend ALL my time staring at my neighbors' window. I have OTHER things that need obsessing over.

Sunday night I made a baked macaroni and cheese and froze it in one of those foil containers. I wondered if I should just bring baked goodies, but what if Mrs. Neighbor is on her own Hot By Thirty plan? And it's not like you can count on baked goodies for dinner. (Well, I can, but I know people who would beg to differ.) But then I didn't want to go all out with a dinner, because I haven't even given my just-had-babies-close-friends dinner (today's discussion topic: how much I suck) and, well, I don't know. I didn't want my food gift to screech DESPERATE! or WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON HER HANDS! or I MANAGE TO COOK A BALANCED DINNER EVERY NIGHT OF THE WEEK! or other untrue things. I went with mac and cheese because it seemed like the most noncommittal. I know, I am rolling my eyes at me too. Then I wrote a nice quick card with my Pertinent Info: email address, phone number, fact that I am home every day. This morning I packed a Banana Republic shopping bag (and OH how I fretted over the choice of bag, since you can tell a lot from where a person buys her preppy sweaters, but it was the only one big enough) with the mac and cheese, the card and, at the last minute, a small tub of lemon bars. Because there should be room for lemon bars, even if you are Hot By Thirtying.

It was all prepared. I just needed to do the daily Kid Clean Up and make my introduction. But first I got a text from Phillip saying his boss was laid off this morning, not sure what his day was going to be like.

Then the friend I was going to meet for lunch called and wanted to meet earlier. I said okay. That gave me a little less time to chat with the neighbors, but I figured I wouldn't do much chatting anyway due to the sudden massive increase in the brain hamsters churning out What The Heck Are We Going To Do NOW Scenarios.

I don't know why I didn't just shove the mac and cheese back in the freezer and postpone my visit till tomorrow. Or the next day. But I think I just felt like it was all ready, might as well.

So I stuffed Molly into the stroller and marched the three of us to the neighbors' front door. Mr. Neighbor answered in his pajamas. He looked suspicious. I didn't care.

"HimynameisMaggieI'msureyou'veseenmenextdoorthesearemytwokiddos

wejustwanttosaycongratulationsonthenewbaby

he'sgorgeousandohhere'ssomefoodtoo."

Then Mr. Neighbor fell all over himself talking to Jack, complimenting Molly, marveling at how we fit two babies into our townhouse. He proclaimed the niceness of bringing dinner about 47 times. He invited us in about 97 times. And each time I wanted to say, "Yes! I'd love to meet your wife! And your new baby! And see how much of MY house YOU can see!" But my brain just wasn't going there. I was still in Does This Mean I Might Have To Go Back To Work? mode. And I really wanted to escape to the mall, where I was meeting my friend for lunch, a friend who would listen with Rapt Attention.

So I didn't go inside and I didn't meet Mrs. Neighbor. I kicked myself all the way home (granted, it's about 4 steps) until Phillip called the second I stepped inside the house to relay The Details. I was glad I was available to take that call, because it meant I stopped worrying about how to support my family of four on an unskilled English Major salary. Phillip is safe. For today.

Then I realized that I hadn't told Mr. Neighbor I didn't need my lemon bar container back. I meant to, because having to give stuff back is annoying. And this wasn't, you know, a NICE container. But I forgot. Which meant I took someone's advice from my first neighbor baby post, and brought my neighbors something they'll eventually feel obligated to return. I suddenly felt very clever. Mrs. Neighbor now has an excuse to visit ME. Perhaps my visit wasn't so pointless after all.

Mr. Neighbor told me he was laid off six weeks ago. He'll be house husbanding when his wife goes back to work. I wanted to hug him. I'm sure you'll be glad to know I didn't.

There were a few times when we thought Phillip might lose his job. When the company was bought out by the national conglomerate, when the first round of layoffs happened, then the second. We've talked about it, thought about it. I think about the summer we graduated, the year of the dot com bust, when Phillip couldn't find a job. I think about that times two children and a mortgage and a wife who stays home. I worst case scenario for a while, then I float back up to my Normal, which is a fairly sunny version of Things Eventually Work Out.

This was the first time I knew some of the people who were laid off. It felt worse.

I went to the mall, where my friend listened in just the right way. I escaped to Target when the inlaws came over to spend time with the kids. I hid in my bedroom until Phillip came home, because I was overwhelmed and too busy thinking to talk. It's night, now. The kids are in bed, Phillip just finished telling me about the corporate bloodletting that was his day. I feel drained and down. I spent my whole day preparing for something that didn't happen. Screw the diet- tonight needs a glass of red. 

Comments

[Lindsay]

Oh man. This recession thing sucks. I am sorry to hear about P's boss, Mr. Neighbor, and your anxiety. I want to smack all the crooked people/people who wanted something for nothing/unknowns that caused this global gong show.

[Jess]

Before we bought our house I had a chat with the next-door neighbor about the neighborhood, and learned in the process that she is pregnant and due in July. We haven't moved in yet and I am already plotting what food I will bring over when they come home with the new baby and are too exhausted to cook.

I'm glad Phillip still has his job. This stuff is all so tough. I'm also glad you aren't so hardcore that you deny yourself a glass of red when it is obviously very necessary.

[Liz]

YAY Maggie for introducing yourself. And BOO for layoffs. They're awful, aren't they? We have friends who are still looking for something after the first round of layoffs at Adam's work. And at least one had SAHWives and kids! So SCARY.

We've talked about plan B quite a bit. So far it involves moving back to WI and living in someone's basement. Actually, that's Worst Case Scenario (thank goodness).

[Carrie]

Wow- I'm glad Phillip's job is still okay. That's stressful. Good job on the neighbor food delivery! Our upstairs neighbors seem to have had their baby (they finally have the car seat in the car, and we know that the arrival was supposedly soon, according to Daniel's conversation with them last week). So I need to start working on my own plans for introductions!

[Christina]

Your neighbor visit sounds an awful lot like how those things tend to go for me. But I say Good On You for following through and hey you left a note with pertinent info so you are bound to hear something back.
Really sorry to hear about the work stuff. It's just plain awful to have that black cloud over everything. But really, what would we DO without computer people???? All those jobs just CAN'T evaporate because we need them too much!! (and that is the end of my pep talk. Which serves the double purpose of cheering you (maybe??) and also keeping ME in my happy place!)

[Jen]

Things Eventually Work Out. Plus, you have family and friends and all sorts of people. If it came to that, which it won't.

I think you did good! I vote that you keep trying. Take over another food item at some point for the "everyone else has abandoned you at this point because the baby is now X weeks old, but you are still tired."

[Rosemary]

I think you did a great job, Maggie! You have established contact and that's the important thing.

awful about the lay-offs. I'm sorry.

[Charlotte]

Good for you! It may not have gone as you had hoped, but it seems like a really good start. I'm sorry to hear about the lay-offs, too.

[Christiana]

Last week, when my friend called me up to tell me her husband was laid off that day - no warning, no severence - was a real wake up for me. I knew some distant online friends who had lost a job and I knew a bunch of "older people" (read: my parents generation) who had been laid off, but it really hadn't hit me. We'd been tightening our belts since I found out I was pregnant 2 years ago, so economic pressures had only been a distant thing to me. Hope things are going to be okay for Philip and you.

[Elaine]

Yay for taking food to the neighbors! Even if you didn't get to meet Mrs. Neighbor, it was a step in the right direction. As long as you don't start hugging Mr. Neighbor.