Lent: A Reorganization. ALREADY. I KNOW.

Yesterday I ran half an hour on my treadmill, which amounted to about two and a half miles, and afterwards I was positively bursting with Thoughts On Running. I then wrote eleventy frillion running-related posts at Hot By Thirty, only to delete ALL of them because good grief I am not the first person to discover the benefits of exercise shutupshutupshutup.

Then today I ran for exactly eight minutes before Molly started to shriek. And once I got her settled the other one started to howl. Up and down, up and down. It was that kind of day. The kind of day that requires a large dose of Elmo and, at five pm, finds you half passed out on the couch not particularly caring if the toddler is on his fifteenth Girl Scout cookie and the baby smells like a restroom.

So far my biggest lesson from this Two Under Two adventure is that I cannot, nor should I even try, to do everything.

I can run, but I won't get to change the sheets.
I can make soup, but I can't sweep the floors.
I can do a load of diapers, but I won't be able to post.
I can post, but I won't hear about Phillip's day.

This is why I was interested in praying the Liturgy of the Hours. Getting my day under control. Centering it. Focusing. All that good stuff. Except I've failed miserably [SHOCKER] and it hasn't even been a week.

I thought I could do it all online, but it turns out I am one of those easily confused people. Also a very Rule Abiding Follow Directions type of person and I was totally stressed out about trying to pray the Liturgy of the Hours without knowing if I was actually doing it right. I decided I'd buy a prayer book, except I didn't have an opportunity to go to the bookstore. And then I was going to email the parish office to see if they had any resources, but I forgot. Then it was Sunday and I was all, "DUDE. Once again I am allowing the overwhelmingness of Lent to KICK MY ASS."

Not good.

I was getting Jack out of his car seat yesterday when I saw a little purple booklet on the floor. It was a Lent daily devotional thing; I think it was included with the church bulletin last Sunday. I picked it up, gave it a quick skim and presto: I am now taking 10 or 15 minutes to read a meditation every night before I go to bed. See ya Liturgy of the Hours. This is easier, clearer, self-explanatory and Phillip is doing it with me. If I can pull off a daily devotional maybe I can graduate to bigger and better things next year.

Also in the Department of Doing Things Right, I decided the sacrifice of 10 or 15 minutes of my day wasn't quite enough of a sacrifice. I can do better. So I was thinking about what to give up (days after Ash Wednesday, of course, hello procrastination!). Sweets, my old standby, are not going to work this year, as I've already technically given them up and not exactly for the Glory of God. It occurred to me that what would REALLY be painful, what would REALLY be a big fat barely bearable sacrifice would be giving up the internet.

CALM DOWN! Like I am going to give up the INTERNET. HA.

But I am going to give it up at certain times of the day. I am not going to write stuff in the morning. If I don't get something written the night before, when my kids are sleeping and/or entranced in front of VeggieTales then OH WELL. I am not going to Tweet or Google Read or send email in the mornings. Except for making that particular day's plans with friends/playgroup/husband/sisters via email, the computer is off limits until naptime. I will keep my laptop CLOSED.

I am pretty sure this is going to kill me.

I am also going to try to stay offline late at night. Sometimes I write after dinner, and this is good, but I don't need to STILL be writing at ten or eleven. I've been going to bed WAY too late, usually because Phillip and I are both engrossed in our own online pursuits (him: the quest for a stereo receiver replacement, me: the slowest blog redesign in the history of the universe) and THIS IS NOT GOOD. I am way more tired than I was when Molly was a NEWBORN. Something is not right.

I'm not putting it away completely. This is actually a good place for me. It's okay for me to be here. But I might not update as often as I like to, I might not write back immediately, I might not read what you wrote the day you wrote it. I'll be around, just not all the time. And seriously, I am here ALL. THE. TIME.

If I am going to have my ass kicked, it will have a purpose.

Carry on! And send care packages. I'm already starting to shake.

Comments

[Kate P]

Hey, think of it as a revelation that you found something more suited to your life--as mom, as a wife, as yourself. Sounds good!

[Lisa]

Yes, the internet is a major time suck. I like those devotionals...they make mediation time easy.

[blog nerd]

Dude this is pretty much what I'm doing and. It. Is. Hard. Yesterday it was like detoxing.

But I am very very productive. Good luck. Its a wortrhwhile endeavor.

[A'Dell]

Dude, before I read the whole thing and I thought you were giving up the internet entirely I was already panicking for you.

I was thinking, "How will she get, like, INFORMATION?" I was getting ready to send you a copy of the yellow pages.

Good luck! I know that for the first few months of Claire's life I had almost no internet time and it was physically painful.

[Lindsay]

Good luck Maggie... please don't quit the internet entirely.

[Charlotte]

I'm really terribly selfish. There, I said it. When I thought you were quitting the Internet, even if it would allow you more time with the husband and kiddies, well, let's just say my reaction was audible. But you're not quitting, you're just part timing it. Phew.

[Tara]

I really like that you used "Lent" and "Ass" in the same sentence.

[ashley.star]

Anyone who says "ass" twice in a blog post about Lent is my BFF.

You rock, Maggie.

(Also! I have sucked at my way-too-ambitious Lenten promises as well. Maybe I'll be inspired to overhaul what I'm not even really doing anyway! :))

[Elizabeth]

Not reading my blog the second I hit publish is going to be QUITE the lenten sacrifice. I hope you make it through.

[Jess]

Wow, this one sounds tougher than the previous one. Good luck!

[Jen]

That sounds difficult. Sometimes my internet goes out for the day and I require medication to cope.

[Lindsay]

I think that is a wonderful idea, Maggie. Best of luck to you!