In lieu of seven quick takes, do you mind if I FREAK. OUT. on you for one little second?
Okay. So. I was looking out my dining room window today (this is funny because my dining room window would also just be called The Big Room In The Middle Floor Window) and do you know what I saw? MY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBORS HAVE A BRAND NEW BABY. !!! A baby so tiny and spindly and red he was probably born YESTERDAY.
You would not BELIEVE the rampage of thoughts that blasted through my head at that precise second. A few weeks ago I told the Parenting peeps how nice it would be to have a mom friend in my neighborhood. Someone who would not require packing or driving my car, where travel time would not factor into when to hang out, who I can see for five minutes or two hours. So in between the time I see a white-haired old lady (who has been hanging out next door for DAYS now, making me wonder if I was missing some kind of holiday requiring family visits) changing the new baby's diaper in the window, and five minutes later, when I finally realize it's just not done to be staring into your neighbor's window (at least not so OBVIOUSLY), I've already decided that Mrs. Neighbor and I are going to be BFF.
And here's the part where I tell you why I am not BFF with my next door neighbor, and why I have never even met her in PERSON.
We were living in our house about a year when they finally tore down the crappy apartment next to us and built another set of townhouses. We'd gotten to know the neighbors in our set of four townhouses because we all bought and moved in at the same time. Plus we were all at the same stage of life. I often wonder how many Youngish Couples are squeezed into townhouses with a baby or two because now none of us can afford to move. BUT WHATEVER. The townhouses that went up next door to me weren't part of our set, and even though our "dining room" windows are 10 feet apart, there's a big fence separating the property and, you know, it's SEATTLE. People do not invade each other's space!
But I baked some zucchini bread and left it on their step with a welcome note because I thought, you know, if I'm going to be looking into their house on a regular basis it might as well be on good terms. Then I found a thank you note on MY doorstep (inviting us sometime in the vague future for drinks! my people!) but that's the last we ever communicated. Since then we just don't pay attention, although the curtain in my kitchen window is there because we were getting awfully tired of Mr. Neighbor washing the dishes without a shirt on.
ANYWAY. I've been thinking about it all day (in between the times I am not throwing up because NOTE TO SELF: when getting over stomach flu do not assume you can eat an ice cream bar the next day, just because it's the only thing that sounds good, YOU IDIOT) and I am feeling Rather Waffly. On one hand: we could be BFF! And on the other: I could get totally sadly rejected. And be terrified of being in front of the window at the same time they are. WHICH IS A DAILY OCCURENCE.
I don't mean rejected as in, "Like I'd ever be friends with YOU." This is SEATTLE. People are outwardly nice! No, I mean a sort of, "You're cute, but I've got my quota of mom friends filled, thanks. Also, I can totally see your kid picking his nose."
AND, I don't know if I've MENTIONED it, but I am not the most outgoing person in the world. I try, because people say there's no way to get over that other than to just BE OUTGOING, but more often than not I come off like a stuttering dork. My brain goes faster than my words, I make stupid jokes, I am WAY too enthusiastic: I AM A DORK.
But whatever. I am plotting. I was thinking: what about a nice "couldn't help but notice your gorgeous new baby! congratulations! here's my digits!" note on her front door in a week or two? I even thought about RINGING THE DOORBELL AND INTRODUCING MYSELF. "Hey! I know you know me, but I thought I might as well tell you my NAME. Oh, and I've got babies too! Come have coffee at my house!"
I don't know. Dorky?
I was excitedly sharing my news with Phillip and he was just looking at me sort of doubtfully (because he is very familiar with The Dorky) and he said,."What about just letting it be organic?"*
Which: okay. I see his point. I mulled over the organic point this afternoon too (when I was not throwing up) but I decided the organic point is moot. BECAUSE. It's been what? Three years that they've been the people whose house we can see the most of. We have NOT ONCE run into them "organically". I suppose I could wait till summertime when both of us seem to spend a lot of time in our teeny tiny yards and make up some reason to talk to her ("Oh! Look at the baby! When did HE show up?") but really? Should I?
See, if it were ME? I would totally want my next door neighbor to show up. I like people, believe it or not. I've had to work on it, but for the most part I like knowing people and spending time with people, especially when they can relieve the boredom and/or drudgery of taking care of your kids. But I don't know if this is one of those situations where I should do what I'm afraid to do because I would want someone to do it for me, or if I am (wait for it) A DORK and I'm DORKING OUT.
(I am especially interested in what one of my old neighbors has to say, since she is intimately acquainted with The Layout Of The Neighborhood. Although you see she has to comment on my blog under an assumed name since when she had HER baby she MOVED AWAY AND LEFT ME and possibly I have yet to forgive this transgression.)
Anyway. What would YOU do? Think about that while I am eating bananas AND applesauce AND rice AND toast for dinner.
*It occurs to me that Phillip's preference for "organic" plays heavily in the story of How Phillip And I Started Dating, by which I mean: IT TOOK FOR FREAKING EVER.