In which I am Want Want Wanty

I think I spent, oh, a good two thirds of my weekend scouring the internet for Stuff.

Play kitchens, fabric storage bins to fit inside my new bookshelf, baskets and bins to store toys downstairs when I switch out the current toy bin for the play kitchen, a rocking chair pad that will match something (anything!) in my bedroom- stuff I've been thinking I want to buy and probably will buy, eventually.

Then I moved on to things I didn't know I needed. I switched gears from clean modern housewares to whimsical Etsy finds. I decided I need to redecorate Jack's room in these prints. I want this one for my room. I want this one to give to Budding Pastry Chef Sister. I found dozens and dozens of hair clips I had to have for Molly, and then I saw these little shoes and died of adorableness.

Then I came back to life (sometime after Phillip had put the kids to bed and cleaned up the kitchen and picked up the living room, because I thought that was convenient) and wondered if I needed to have a talk with myself. I mean, two thirds of a weekend is a LOT of time spent thinking about STUFF.

My trip to Ikea was successful in that we found, brought home, assembled, and fell in love with (well, maybe that last one is just me) this shelf. We rearranged the bedroom to make it fit and now there is room to maneuver, plus room for all the books and toys and other random assorted crap that ends up hanging out on my bedroom floor. And I can put pictures on top! And a plant! Love! My trip to Ikea was unsuccessful in that I didn't find any of the other things I hoped to find, which meant the Buying Stuff Will Make Me Happy hole in my heart wasn't quite closed.

I hate it when I get like this, like something is missing from my life because I don't have more Stuff.

I don't even LIKE stuff! I am the opposite of a packrat, whatever that is. I'm constantly on Phillip's case to clean out his office. I gave away almost all of Jack's baby clothes. I ruthlessly purged my OWN closet. I just don't have a lot of space and too much stuff makes it hard to keep things in order, which in turn makes me crazy. I am a big fan of Liz's rule: is it awesome? If it's not awesome, out it goes.

I'm trying to be more... what's the word? Choosy? Conscientious? Deliberate? About my stuff. I've come home emptyhanded from more than a few shopping trips because I didn't love anything enough to buy it. (This is especially true when it comes to clothes. All the stuff I purged? Stuff I never wore anyway.) And I'm just trying not to buy stuff in GENERAL. I am obnoxiously proud of the fact that our last two credit card bills were significantly less than the previous eight or nine or ten. Take THAT Dire Economy News!

But I still stand in my living room and think, "You know what we need? The right size basket to fit in that empty spot, right there. Then our house will be perfect." Or I sit in my newish bedroom and think, "Now what I need is a new curtain rod, then this room will be awesome." Today it even occurred to me that I should re-frame a picture (a picture I had PROFESSIONALLY FRAMED, which is EXPENSIVE) to better match the "color scheme". This is hilarious, because I have absolutely no talent for decorating, let alone color schemes.

I don't know what my deal is. Yes, I'm looking at several more years in a smallish house with two growing kids. Yes, "maximizing my space (in an eye pleasing way!)" is very much on my mind. Yes, getting organized requires some thinking and a little bit of money, but do I have a money tree in my front yard? No, no I do not! And it's not like we're living in a studio apartment. I don't NEED this stuff. It feels downright UnChristian, all this want want wanting. And this is Lent! The season of penance and sacrifice! What am I doing sniffing through Etsy for the perfect prints to hang on my green wall?

(And seriously? If I were independently wealthy? I would pretty much wallpaper my house in bright cartoony found-on-Etsy prints.)

Anyway. My desire for Stuff these days is getting a little frightening, a little out of hand. No normal person spends an entire afternoon hunting down the Exact Right Perfect fabric storage bin to fit inside her new Ikea shelf, and then goes morosely to the wine rack when hours of searching yield displeasing results.

If you made it this far, Lindsay finally posted her interview with me. Go see where she thinks Rory Gilmore ended up. I shall be upstairs staring at my new shelf and discovering that now I need something ELSE to make my bedroom awesome. GAH.

Comments

[Charlotte]

Nothing wrong with wanting, it's the hunger that keeps us alive. (Says the capitalist swine whose significant other is pretty much Bud Fox.)

Who wants to be normal? Not I. The goal is to have a well edited life filled with things you use, people you love and a home that is fabulous. I could so write a blog post as long as my ill proportioned arm on this very subject. I see your afternoon of fabric baskets and raise you three months researching wall colors and bringing paint chips while you apartment shop to see how different light exposures hit them. True story.

[Lindsay]

I'm glad you found ONE thing you wanted at IKEA! I feel like moving to Costa Rica, growing dreads and wearing leave outfits today...the work required to fuel my consumption lifestyle is exhausting me. Husband is not on board, so nine to fivin' it, it is.

[Jen Pierce]

This is so funny--I had a case of the gimmes this weekend, too, and I remarked on it to my friend. I found myself saying things like, oh, THAT'S the coffee maker I really want, or I want a finished basement just like this...I think its because we've gone on a more scrupulous, credit free budget and I'm very conscious of the fact that I can't just go out and buy something if the impulse hits.

[Tracy]

It's always hard when you have the freedom to spend some money - and then you can't find what you wanted at the store you were expecting to be able to buy things.

At least I've found it to be that way.

[Carrie]

I'm with you on both the anti-stuffness and the random shopping. I have found that it has gotten way worse (on both counts) since I had Ethan. More time at home to contemplate these things. Lately I've had to really be careful, since when I go shopping there are so many great sales and great deals to be had. I have to stop and say "do I really want this" or "do I want this just because it's 75% off". Because I'm also ridiculously cheap.

But I digress.

Love the shelving unit- it looks really handy! I hope you have fun rearranging and organizing things and finding the perfect places for everything. Good work!

[Jenn]

My sister and BIL sent us a check last month for Christmas (they couldn't afford gifts at actual Christmas) and with my portion of the money, I got us a pizza on Saturday night. And then I gave the rest to Tom because I can't come up with one single thing that I want. Being underemployed for so long has broken my will to shop.

[Elizabeth]

Remind me never to show you my entire BOOK full of house wants. It's a sickness. And being on a no spend month and half has not helped AT ALL. I should never have given myself exceptions!

[Jess]

I do this too. I think we all do. It's just so fun!

[Heather of the EO]

I think you're doing just fine! You can dream of all the things that could make your home pretty and comfortable and yet still not buy them all. A girl's gotta dream :)

And I'm sorry, but Tim Riggins is already taken. No, not Lila...ME. :)

[Katherine]

I totally get like that. It is like I go for so long without shopping, and then just really need to. I am also on a major orginization binge right now as well. I think it has to do with spring.

[Meghan]

Maggie, great post. Two things spring to mind. 1) The last time I was a Lowes, they had really cute (as in match my new bedroom) fabric bins.
2) Have you met the flylady? Oh, how I love the flylady. (you can meet her at www.flylady.net, I am pretty sure). Just to reinforce your anti-stuff-ness. A couple 27-fling-boogies and my house kept itself neat and orderly. GRANTED, I have zero babies and live, well, alone. With my very cute dog. :)