mighty maggie: Applying what I learned

Well. I just finished a Big Long Talk with my mother [former Professional Teacher] about your comments. In the course of this conversation I learned that I was so gifted and brilliant my elementary school wanted to skip me to second grade. As this 1) did not happen and 2) was unbeknownst to me, I feel that I have missed out on many many years of Bragging. So I am going to do it here. I COULD HAVE SKIPPED FIRST GRADE! AM GENIUS! Sigh. I always knew it to be true, I just had to wait for the evidence to emerge.

Obviously I am not exactly biting my nails about What We Are Going To Do. Jack, may I remind you, is not even TWO. Molly heading off to kindergarten is a few years away and I have better things to worry about, like how to get purple nail polish out of my duvet cover. Oops.

But I was sort of thinking about it this morning during playgroup, when one of the other kids pushed Jack. I didn't see it happen, I just noticed that suddenly Jack's head was buried into my leg. It's the kind of thing he does when he's been hurt, and by 'hurt' I mean his FEELINGS, and I automatically knew something happened. The mom of the Pusher was all on top of things and ordering an apology (and I don't know about you guys, but I always find these Toddler Make Up Sessions agonizingly embarrassing) and I just wanted it to go away. I rubbed his back and told him it was okay and tried to get him interested in a book, a puzzle, ANYTHING. But half of me wanted to say, "Time to suck it up, kid. Just wait until you get to junior high!"

Jack, I've known for a while, has sensitive wittle feelings. We have been playgrouping for over a year now and I have never seen him be the aggressor in a toddler interaction. Maybe when I'm not looking, but I honestly can't remember a single time he's pushed or hit or even really snatched anything away from another kid. (People who know Jack: FEEL FREE TO TELL ME OTHERWISE!)

I can think of a lot of reasons why, the biggest one being that pretty much all the kids we see and play with are older than Jack. He has plenty of older sister types bossing him around and stealing his plastic food and telling him to go play with something else. He's always tolerated these little girlfriends pretty well, but lately they seem to be getting louder and he's getting softer. The girl he's going to marry (if his mother and I have any say) made him cry three or four times the other day. And not because she physically hurt him, but because she was just sort of snapping at him. I really think his feelings are hurt. I think he's sort of surprised, kind of like "But I thought we were having such a good time!"

Jack does a good job of amusing himself. I can turn on some music and throw him and some books into the crib and he's happy for an hour. Today he wandered around, just looking at everything. He doesn't seem to be intimidated by the other kids, but he doesn't always join them either. And he's not perfect- he's getting snatchy and defiant and jealous around Molly (and the vocabulary explosion has just made him generally LOUD). But I haven't seen other kids act so sad when someone steals their toy stroller. Mad, yes. Hurt, complete with downcast eyes and quivering lip, no.

This was also part of my conversation with my mom and she said perhaps I shouldn't base Jack's future success on the soccer team on these random little incidents. Because you know I'm totally doing that.

AAAAAANYWAY. Not that this has any bearing on anything, not that it matters, not that it's even a THING, seeing as how Jack is well on his way to TWO and getting more argumentative and defiant and willful every stinking day. And my friends will probably email me tomorrow all, "Um, excuse me, but Jack totally whacked my kid with a book last week." But when you guys talked about how it felt to be younger, I couldn't help but Apply those thoughts to this situation today. It's part of the being brilliant, you know, Applying Newfound Knowledge.

Summary of Long Rather Boring Post: WHO KNOWS. So why worry now? Let's go watch TV! Also: If current trajectory stays steady, fairly certain Two is going to kick my butt.