She's stolen TWO of my hooded sweatshirts

My sister and I are sprawled across my couches, half asleep. She's wearing the hooded sweatshirt I let her borrow earlier in the morning when it was cold, a sweatshirt I haven't been able to zip up since I had Jack. On her it's loose and comfortable-looking. For the zillionth time I wonder why I didn't get those genes. Why are my sisters so thin and I'm not? It's not because they're exercising and watching what they eat, I can tell you that. (Ask any woman in my family what the four food groups are and she will say, "Wine, Chocolate, Bread and Coffee.")

I'm toying with the idea of starting a new blog. I KNOW. Like I'm not enough of a narcissist with this one. But I want to start the Lose The Baby Weight project pretty soon (as soon as I polish off those brownies my neighbor dropped by and the ice cream in the freezer) and I wonder if it wouldn't be nice to have a place to write about that. And stuff related to that. Stuff that I often feel is too vulnerable to publish here, even though I know a lot of you relate and you relating makes me feel so much better. Sometimes I think this stuff is best left unsaid. Everyone writes the obligatory post-baby weight loss post, but going on and on about it just sounds unseemly or something. Who cares! Everyone wants to lose a little weight! Stop talking about it already!

Except writing helps me process stuff. And feedback is so helpful. And maybe you want to lose a little weight too and it'd be easier to do it together.

What do you think? Does that sound like something you'd want to read? And participate in? Or just more blather from someone who blathers too much anyway?

For the record, I am pretty sure I am not someone with an unhealthy perception of herself. I've never gotten too down on myself about my weight or my looks. ('Too' being the operative word. Everyone has her Fat Days.) I was never the biggest girl in school, but I was (and am) on the heavier side of the spectrum. My closest friends have always been thinner than me, sometimes drastically so, and I often go out with friends feeling like The Fat One. When those friends talk about their own body image issues, I clam up because I can't relate to being 120 pounds and still feeling fat. That said, I've never even flirted with an eating disorder, most of the time I think I look fine, and the absolute last thing I want to do is start some unholy exercise regimen. Run? Um, a stroll around the lake is enough for me, thank you very much.

Phillip is working on his own Post-Baby project which involves finding a computer monitor to install in front of the treadmill so I can watch my shows and work off a brownie at the same time. I would like to fit into that sweatshirt again. I want to be the size I was the year before I had Jack (and that wasn't 'thin', by any means!) Thinking about it now, I'm realizing that was a relatively low anxiety time for me too. Added bonus!

So I don't think I'm going to delve into Psychotherapy Land or anything like that, but I would like a place to struggle and complain (and maybe be victorious?) out loud. And I'm thinking I don't really want to do that here. It needs its own place. I think.

Comments

[ellen]

That third to last paragraph? The one with the bit about all of your closest friends being thinner and being utterly unable to relate to feeling fat at 120 lbs? Um, yeah. Me too. So, while I have no baby weight to lose, I would definitely read a weight-related blog and I might even go so far as to participate. :)

[Ellie]

I second that, as most of my friends hover around the 120lb mark.... and I do have the baby weight to lose, too. I'll read, support, and try my darndest to participate.

[Charlotte]

I'd love to read your thoughts and root for you along the way.

[annie]

Maggie, I support you 100% in this! For your own sake and mine - I need a weight loss buddy. Like you, my goal is to get to my pre-baby#1 weight. I still have a little way to go before I've lost by second pregnancy baby weight...and then it will be on to the toddler weight....and then it will be on to the Annie weight. Sigh. Hot By Thirty has helped tremendously, as I've shared with you already....but there's only 2 months left. Then what will I do? YES! DO IT! I will read and comment faithfully. :-)

[O Me, O Mine (Morgan)]

I like the idea of that type of blog. I am TRYING to lose a little baby weight, too. I just started going for walks and tracking them with an nike+ i-pod thingy. I find the little gadget helps motivate me. Tiger Woods told me I had a personal best walking time yesterday while using it! Sweet!

[Spin Mama]

I hear ya on this. It sounds cool and echoes something else I read a couple days ago (see below). Do you have a pedometer?

http://soggygranolamom.blogspot.com/2008/09/some-of-my-friends-had-great-idea.html

[Liz]

I've been pretty happy with my 'average' size. Now I have 30 pounds to lose to get back there. Oy. HOT BY THIRTY! THIRTY BY THIRTY!! I'm starting soon. I promise (after my freezer is empty too - why do people bring TREATS to people that have just had a baby? We're not pregnant anymore! That said, I want to bring you treats - we will discuss your acceptance of visitors perhaps tomorrow) :)

[Liz]

Oh, also did I mention that my sister also weighs MAYBE a buck ten? AND she's had SEVEN children? I so know how you feel.

[Arwen]

I totally know what you mean about being completely unable to relate to people who feel fat at 120lbs. I think the last time I weighed 120 pounds I was 12 years old, or possibly only 11. When people who weigh 120 complain about feeling fat, it makes me feel like the top of my head is going to pop off.

I'd totally be interested in reading a weight-loss blog. I don't diet (being a huge devotee of the idea of thin eating, which really works and if you ever want to hear me rave about it then just drop me an email), but I am WOEFULLY out of shape and once this baby is born, I really need to get motivated to have some regular exercise in my life, for the sake of both my physical and my mental health. So maybe reading your weight-loss blog could help me get motivated to do that! Yeah!

By the way, I am so in awe of your ability to blog no matter what, even with a newborn in the house. You are a hero.

[lindsay]

I have like 40 lbs on my sister. WTF. She drinks a lot of wine and beer (oh god that sounds horrible - not an excessive amount) but no sweets whatsoever. She just has no sweet tooth really and bam without really dieting she is a tiny little thing. I do not even pretend to hide my jealousy,complaining at her while stuffing cake and icing into my mouth. Anyway, I finish school in 2 weeks and we are going on a major health kick around here so ya, wherever you post I'll probably read if you give us the link.

[Sarah in Ottawa]

I would read your writing anywhere, so count me in! I am on the upword weight climb during pregnancy, so I will not be able to contribute for a while, but I will be glad to comment when I can!

[Tara]

Sounds fantastic. Well, after I finish getting huge and expel this child from my body. :-) One of my best friends asked me to be in her wedding.. in a sundress... on the beach... EIGHT WEEKS after this kid comes. Yeah.

[maggie]

I want to edit this and say: everyone is allowed their own body image crap. I'm going to go out on a limb and say even Heidi Klum probably has a fat day here and there. My skinny friends have theirs and I have mine- I just don't want to talk about mine in front of them. That's all.

[Shelby]

I too would read you anywhere you wrote! I completely relate to being the fat friend. My weight isn't baby weight, but I will most definitely go on your weight loss adventure with you =)

[Jessica]

I would totally read it. I'll be trying to lose my baby weight in about 6 weeks from now! So it would be cool to see what you're having struggles and victories with. It's been kinda cool being about 8 weeks pregnant behind you and following it, so this would be just fine!
I understand the need to give it its own home, too...

[Jen]

I would absolutely read it. And I will eventually participate too.

[Jennifer]

OOO OOO OOO!

I'd so participate with you. Though, I'm planning on a lot of exercise so I have to wait about 5 or six weeks before I can really jump to it.

Do IT!

[jackie]

I'm with ya. You can start a Livejournal...they're lockable (except to other LJ friends) if it bothers you that much to talk about it 'in public'.

And for the record, the little experiment we tried before you got pregnant with Molly didn't work so well...just sayin'.

[Kate P]

Maggie, I'm still on WeightLossWars. . . fiercely trying to hold on to being two pounds down from the Grad School Ten--although the stress from quitting my job is not helping.

BTW my younger sister looks like an Italian version of Rachael Leigh Cook. So unfair.

[Manda]

I am so with you. Blog away! Since our babies are days apart and since I haven't been 120 pounds since 6th grade ... Let's DO THIS!
*pause to eat a huge bite of cake*
But um, can we wait like 5 more weeks? Cause that's when I plan on getting REALLY serious about wearing normal clothes again. :)

[Manda]

p.s. Can I just say for the record that my sister just LEAFS through the South Beach Diet book and drops 10 pounds??? Meh.

[Jess]

I love reading about weight loss and health kicks, mostly because I'm on one myself. I would totally be into the new blog.

[Emeth Hesed]

I'm a huge fan of your site and have been reading your blog for a long time now. I just had a baby a couple months ago and am still distressingly huge. I'd love it if you started a postpartum weight loss blog.