Seriously, I have no idea what this is about

We went to the church picnic yesterday. OH, THE CHURCH PICNIC.

Phillip had to be there at EIGHT IN THE MORNING as he is on the Committee That Does Things Like The Church Picnic. Which meant I was on Toddler Duty (I am trying not to say "baby" anymore, even though that positively kills me) and also Elderly Neighbor Duty on my own. Elderly Neighbor was all, "Yeah RIGHT" when we asked her if she wanted to go to the picnic, so I had to figure out how to keep the boy awake (earlier summer rising means a higher incidence of morning naps lately) while taking Elderly Neighbor to and fro. Of course I was thinking about all of this while I was supposed to be listening to homilies and consecrations (BAD CHURCHGOER!) and also trying to make sure Jack didn't scatter his little bowl of Keep Quiet Goldfish all over the pew.

So I was a bit frazzled by the time I got to the picnic. And maybe a bit annoyed with my husband because he wasn't there to help with everything. Which wasn't his fault, but since when has that mattered?

Anyway. The picnic! It was fun. I brought the camera, but took no pictures, as per usual. I sampled a bit of everything from the Dessert Table (does the fact that no one has called me about my glucose test and it's been, like, two weeks, mean I passed?) Jack played in a kiddie pool full of DIRTY SAND and was an adorable little munchkin, hamming it up for all the old ladies, until he quite visibly began to crash. Which is when we decided to go home, but if you go to things like church picnics you know that "going home" means "another two hours to talk to everyone we pass on our way to the car".

Which is when I got about two zillion people badgering me about WHEN ARE YOU DUE?! and WE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW?!

Now you may have figured out that I am not the type to be all WHEE! AM PREGNANT! to people we only see once a week. We're more the types to mull it over at home for a day or two, tell the important family and friend types, and let everyone else figure it out on their own because seriously, SO NOT THE TYPE to ADVERTISE. (Unless it is on my blog. Which may or may not be my passive aggressive way of keeping in touch with people. Sorry!)

Oh, and with THIS baby I was a little nervous about the "ALREADY?!" people because, yes, already, but see: Catholic, and also: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.

ANYWAY! So we're trying to make it out of the picnic area and I am fielding When Are You Due questions left and right. Those of you who have done this before know that after you announce when you're due, you're also expected to share whether you're having a boy or a girl AND the name. It's the Pregnancy Question Trifecta. I kind of got the feeling that some of these ladies had been wondering if I was pregnant and weren't quite sure, but had overheard Phillip telling someone about a new baby and AHA, suspicion confirmed!

But for me it just felt like they were saying, "Dude, we couldn't tell if you were pregnant or just getting REALLY FAT."

Aw, tender little feelings.

I was fine, though, until someone who KNEW I was pregnant from the GET GO came up to me and said, "You're finally starting to look pregnant!"

And I was all, "THE HELL?" Because I am THIRTY-TWO-ISH WEEKS and I certainly HOPE I look pregnant and not just MISERABLY LARGE AND BLOATED.

This is where I should upload a picture of myself, but to be honest, I haven't taken an Obligatory Belly Shot during this entire pregnancy. Poor shafted second baby! The widening of my waistline has been significantly less fascinating to me this time around and I've mostly chosen to ignore it. As much as possible. I have turned up pregnant in the background of lots of snapshots and MY GOD I am not posting THOSE. If I do post a belly shot it will be the forty-seventh of some hundred shots I've taken, by myself, with the mirror, with controlled lighting and expertly applied makeup.

There are several other women at church due around the same time as me and we're all carrying our babies differently. Pretty interesting how that works, right? I have a friend who is always telling me how great I look when I'm pregnant (LOVE this friend) and I tell her it's because I'm Proportionally Pregnant. I am chubby all over and gain weight all over. Which, I guess, also means that I could just be REALLY FAT. Sigh.

Gosh, how's this for a post about NOTHING? Jack is having an absolute conniption because MOMMY IS TYPING and therefore nothing else in the entire universe is as interesting as the contraption she is typing on, MUST BANG ON BUTTONS! So bye! Happy Monday!

Comments

[Becky]

Yeah, I'd like to think that pregnancy is the great equalizer among women. But, skinny girls are still skinny and people like me... well, I'm definitely not going to be the "size 2 maternity" type.

Let's just leave it at that.
:) Becky
http://www.stinkylemsky.typepad.com/

[Carrie]

I was one of those pregnant people who almost never got asked if she was pregnant because I just looked chubby for most of the pregnancy. Someone VERY cautiously asked me when I was abou 7.5 months along, and a few times I got a seat on the bus. But that was about it. I shudder to think what will happen if I get pregnant again while I'm still carrying around weight from the last pregnancy...

[Elizabeth]

You're THIRTY WEEKS pregnant? When did that happen?
Also, you MUST take at least one belly shot! Not for us, but for Might Baby someday. I LOVE those pictures of my mom.

[Laura]

People crack me up....why do they need to know everything anyway....LOL

Well, I am currently 18 MONTHS pregnant with our second one and I am just fat with no real excuse : (

I do want at least one pic though..PLEASE

[Lisa]

Rest easy in the knowledge that Jack is singularly interested in the keyboard only because it has the attention of his angel mother and he only wants to be closer to you. Little kids are so adorable that way. It is one of the things I LOVE about babies and toddlers. They absolutely think you hung the moon. Olivia, after her long morning nap, is adorable in her persistence at following me around the house. I managed to sneak off to the bathroom without her seeing me and came out to find that she had crawled into the kitchen and was looking around in puzzlement because she couldn't find me. When I appeared...faceful of smiles! I love, love, LOVE babyhood.

[Manda]

I wish I was proportionally pregnant. I look like I have a basketball under my shirt ... quite literally. My husband puts one under his shirt and he could pass for me. WAHHH! Today we went to visit the pediatrician and she saw me from behind as was all "I couldn't even tell you were pregnant until you turned around!!" Which means that either it really is all out in front or I have an incredibly huge ass. Sigh.