Posted tonight because there will probably be no nap tomorrow either

Today? Sucked.

Put molars, no nap, a baby who has lodged herself firmly under my rib cage with plans to stay there for at least the next six weeks, deadlines, dirty dishes, hormones, lack of decent sleep, and oh yeah did I mention MOLARS and NO NAP and put them all in the food processor and push "Puree". The resulting sludge equals my day.

I lurched out of bed this morning, determined to take some ownership in this baby rearing thing as Phillip has been doing the morning routine on his own for weeks now. He'd already been up for an hour in the middle of the night sitting with a miserable and wide awake baby so the diaper change and breakfast readying was the least I could do. Phillip got an extra hour of sleep and all was well until I strapped myself into the car for the ride to church and felt that by now familiar gut bursting feeling. As in, how in the world do I have six weeks left because there is no more room in there.

I have no idea why church is so crazy uncomfortable. I can't sit or stand without feeling short of breath. I don't even bother kneeling anymore. I spent most of Mass thinking back to my pregnancy with Jack, trying to remember what it was like. I know for a fact that mere days before his birth I was thinking to myself, "Gee, pregnancy's not so bad, I could totally do this for a few more weeks!" And here I am, with at least six weeks left to go, AND I AM DONE.

And from that point on I was The Grumpiest Woman Alive. Don't touch me, don't talk to me, don't ask me anything, don't need anything. Not even the doll I bought for New Baby on Saturday could snap me out of my funk.

When Hello Kitty does not put a smile on your face, things are Looking Dour.

Then Jack didn't nap [INSERT GASP OF SURPRISE] and I didn't get the relaxing afternoon I was hoping for and did I mention POOR PHILLIP? Because not only am I Grumpy, I am shuffling about the house like an invalid, clutching my stomach and complaining about my back and bemoaning how much I ate at our friends' barbecue.

Phillip took care of Jack all day. He put the crib together. When he ran into Trader Joe's to buy brownies for our friends' barbecue (like I was going to BAKE them, AS IF) he came out with a tub of brownies for the barbecue and a giant chocolate bar for his wife. He did not plug his ears when I fretted about my deadlines and my utter ineptitude with Photoshop. He fed the boy dinner. He put the boy to bed. He is currently leaving me to My Internet and will obediently follow me upstairs when I announce I'm going to sleep.

BECAUSE I AM MARRIED TO A SAINT.

He even suggested Jack and I meet him for lunch tomorrow, which I don't understand because work = escape from whiny wife and teething child. Would YOU want to meet us for lunch?

And tonight someone said to me, "I would NEVER guess you're due September 10!" Granted, I was sitting down with Jack on my lap, but STILL. I'm not quite sure what to do with that. I either feel horrified, that I must look this elephantine when I'm NOT pregnant, or guilty, because I'm not that big, why am I so grumpy?

If I eat that chocolate bar before I go to bed I'll get heartburn. DAMMIT. All right. Next post? Things that are better this time around. Believe it or not, some things are better. [INSERT ACTUAL GASP OF SURPRISE.]

Comments

[Lindsay]

I don't know what to say...except that when I need a laugh, my life plan now includes reading your Martha, Martha post on April 5/07. I really don't know who has the authority to be handing out awards for posts but I see it is done, and I doubt it is regulated so bam! I give it a perfect post award! Made me feel better about being a twenty something Catholic and I laughed even when rereading it. That post is awesome but the comments are the icing on the cake!! Hope Monday is better!

[Lisa]

Thank God for saintly husbands. They aren't always that way, but they seem to come through at just the right times. I hope the baby gets out of your ribcage soon so you can breathe.

[Morgan S.]

I know how you are feeling! I was the most miserable pregnant woman the last month of my second pregnancy. I just wanted her OUT! I was downright MEAN to my husband and I mumbled, grumbled and moaned the whole time. It was not nearly as bad when I was pregnant the first time.

But soon, she will be out and you will feel a million, billion, trillion times better! And then you too can comment on blogs while the newborn sleeps and the toddler demands "up!", hits her head on the table for attention and then says "uh oh!" until you stop typing! Let the fun begin!

[Charlotte]

You don't look like you are due on 10 September because you were thin before your pregnancy and are thin now. Pint of rocky road be damned. You feel larger because someone strapped a bowling ball to your midsection. A kicking, moving, bowling ball. A kicking, moving, bowling ball that you have to spend time prepping for and agonizing over. I sympathize with Jack and the molar situation. My wisdom teeth are growing in the right way and I am begging for death. I'm an adult with access to industrial strength pain killers and gin, I can't imagine how much it hurts for him. And finally, you must eat the chocolate bar with a Mylanta chaser. If for no other reason then because you don't look like you're due on 10 September and that deserves recognition.

[Jen]

Complain to us as much as you would like. We can take it! Complaining always makes me feel much better.

[Tara]

I feel for you! I am not looking forward to those last several weeks as I remember last time that Shea decided the best place for her cute little butt was wedged under the right side of my ribs. For like a month! I would literally try to push on it with my hands to get a break, which usually didn't work.

And NO nap? Jackson, give your mom a break! We did the molars last month and then proceeded to seamlessly transition into eye teeth... which are unfortunately giving the molars a run for their money. We are not fans of teeth over here either.

[Julie]

I WANT that Hello Kitty doll. I wonder if my husband would be too upset if I decorated our (not in existence yet) baby's room in Hello Kitty decor.

Hmm..probalby. But probably more so if it was a boy, than a girl. :)

[Elizabeth]

Yep - any day without naps is a totally sucky one.
This is bad, but every phase Eli goes through, I think, oh god, Maggie is going to have to through this with Jackson in a few months and it's so terrible, I can't even warn her about it because there's nothing anyone can do about it. But the good news is that I am also the one who can tell you that it does pass. It passes and it gets better.
And then it comes back and you have another no nap like I also had to today.
But I did recently hear via the internets that you got a new H&M with baby clothes! For baby girls! So it can't be all bad, righto?
Hope it gets better soon.

[Kate P]

I don't think I've ever seen Hello Kitty carry a purse before--that is really cute. New Baby might not mind if you break Kitty in with a few hugs to make you feel better.

[Manda]

Hooray for lovely husbands!!!