Owie! And also: stop calling me.

ETA: Oops. I forgot to include my contractually obligated link. Go here to find out what we are doing with our ginormous coffee table. THE EXCITEMENT NEVER ENDS!

I forgot to mention one other downside to working a contract gig: the guy you're working for always leaves certain details out of the contract. Not on purpose, he just didn't realize he had to put EVERYTHING in writing. What about this? What about that? What about the panicked phone call asking for assistance right this very second? When I am far from my computer and outside watering the flowers with my kid?

This is why I hardly ever answer my cell phone. (Unless it's YOU, of course. I always answer when it's YOU.)

Sometime around midnight I woke up in excruciating pain. I'd been dreaming, the pain had been part of my dream, and eventually I realized that no, THIS IS REAL and OWWWWWW. It was so bad I couldn't lay flat, couldn't lay down at all. I think if this hadn't been my second time, I would have assumed I'd gone into early labor. My entire midsection was plotting to overthrow the rest of me. I whimpered and moaned until my log sawing husband finally woke up and saw that I was Distressed and offered to get me a glass of water. Which: where was the offer to run me over to the emergency room? Where was the leaping from the bed to call my doctor? HMMM?

I swear I thought I was going to die, but then I limped into the bathroom and, well. Some things are not nice to share in public, so we'll just say I felt MUCH BETTER.

But seriously. The "could this be contractions?" thought fluttered through my head more than a few times. I think because this baby has pushed all the normal-sized parts of me into temporary cramped quarters and I have no idea where anything is. Did my stomach hurt? I had no idea because WHERE DID MY STOMACH GO?

I remember pregnancy being a breeze. (I know. SHUT UP, ME.) I mean, after the initial bouts of mild nausea and napping all day long, I pretty much floated through it. I only had a few days of true uncomfortableness at the very end, and Jack came a few days early, making the end easy on everyone. So I don't know what's up with THIS baby. The one thing this baby hasn't done to me is try to kill me with heartburn, but there's still time for that. I was/am sicker, more tired, more hormonal, more uncomfortable, more EVERYTHING with this baby. Even the kicks have been more frequent and more painful. And I shouldn't complain, because everything is still going very well and I'm still, you know, MOBILE, but dude. I really miss sleeping on my stomach and sleeping without the constant bathroom interruptions. And before Jack was born we still had a futon in the next room and I could drag myself over there in case my Soundly Sleeping Husband kept me wide awake, but we got rid of the futon and I don't really fit in the crib. Moan whine kvetch.

Phillip is working late tonight. The one concession he did offer me at midnight, when I was dictating my last will and testament, was to get up with Jack and stay home a little longer in the morning so I could sleep. But of course the Panicked Phone Call was the first thing that came to mind when I woke up, so I had to get out of bed and deal with that while I didn't have Jack hanging on my leg. Somewhere in the contract I should have written: Panicked Phone Calls: Allowed only during naptimes, evenings and previously agreed on meeting times. Otherwise, SEND ME AN EMAIL. God. It's like they have no idea I am a blogger. I live online.

Comments

[Manda]

From what "they've" been telling me (you know, the collective "they" that is the authority on such things? yeah, them) that girl baby pregnancies are much Less Fun. Apparently female babies are more active and make you substantially more nauseous (nauseated> I can never keep those straight) than boy babies. Who knew? All I'm saying is that I hope my sis-in-law has a girl the next time around so she doesn't get to skip-to-my-lou through her next pregnancy while I barf my brains out. La la!

[Becky]

Oh, I totally know what you mean about Panicked Phone Calls! I don't know why people don't just send an email... they get a much faster response that way.
:) Becky
http://www.stinkylemsky.typepad.com/

[Liz]

That's funny! I was up last night with contractions! Except mine were uterine...

[annie]

I never answer my cell phone either. Nor do I check the voicemail. Kinda makes me wonder why I have one, really. I suppose it has something to do with my innate fear of being stranded on the side of the road, just me and the two boys. And, you know, considering the fact that I'm often journeying up to two miles away from my home, this could be quite dangerous.