Too much to ask

My parents live in a cute little subdivision about an hour south of Seattle. Adorable little houses, manicured lawns and play areas and not so big that you get lost in a cul de sac maze. Yesterday afternoon my mom wanted to go see the model home (quite a few of these houses are still for sale or not yet built) and I am always up for model homes and open houses. I think it's something that happens to you after you buy your first house. Or maybe once you're ready to have your own house in general? I don't know, but Real Estate is a constant topic in our house and amongst our friends.

The model home was closed, but I managed to peek in the front window and imagine where I would put my couches. And not for the first time this week did it occur to me how fabulously awesome it would be to live within walking distance of my mom. I mean, from the model home I could practically throw Jack into her back yard!

While things aren't half as traumatic as they were on Monday, we're still having rough nights and whiny days. I oscillate between Still Sort of Sick, Going Through A Thing and This Is The New Normal, so don't ask me. But the strategy is to be home as little as possible. We're home in the morning before his first nap, we're usually home to eat, and we're home before bed. But I try my hardest to fill up all the in between times. Target, visiting friends, the park, walking around the block, the grocery store. Not a lot of originality here, but I do my best. If I'm lucky the moms group is scheduled in the mornings or my sister has the afternoon off and we have other people to entertain us. I can't tell you how much easier it is when it's not just the two of us. I feel bad saying that, like I'm unhappy staying at home or I can't handle my kid or whatever, but Jack loves people and as much as I try to make myself sound misanthropic and curmudgeonly, I love people too. Where is my village?! Sometimes you get a house full of your friends and their babies flinging their snack cups all over your just-vacuumed rug, sometimes you luck out and your dad thinks to put a children's CD in the stereo and you watch in amazement as your child instantly calms the heck down.

I never thought I'd say this, but oh yeah, I'd definitely consider moving an hour away from Seattle for a bigger house and grandparents nearby.

Phillip and I talk about this incessantly. We're not moving any time soon and we're even looking at refinancing in case this whole Economy thing is what they say it is and we're stuck with our custom millwork and granite counter tops forever and ever. (Shut up, me.) But one day we'd like to have a house with a little more space (a playroom is my heart's desire) and a yard, preferably on a street where we'd be okay letting the kids out the front door. (My neighborhood right now? Has a big ole COMMUNITY/POLICE WATCH AREA sign on the corner and is frequented by all sorts of Nefarious Types in the evening hours.)
Ideally this house would be in Seattle proper, but HA HA HA HA, does anyone have a cool half million to loan me? AT LEAST? The options, short of God Providing A Miracle, seem to be Moving North or Moving South.

Moving North gets us a house with a basement, a yard and a decent street. It means we get to stay close to our friends - we'd be even closer, actually - and close to our church and church community. It's more expensive than moving south and farther away from grandparents who cannot stand driving through the city, but we'd get to maintain our lives.

Moving South gets us a bigger newer house with a yard and a decent street and instant grandparent access. It also means a long commute for Phillip and a lot of starting over- new church, probably new friends. I hate thinking about that. I can't stand the idea of not being able to hop into the car and drive five minutes to see friends I've had for years. Not having my kids play with their kids.

There's also a Moving East and Moving Sort Of South option, but Moving East requires nearly as much money as staying in the city, plus the crappiest commute ever and Moving Sort Of South sounds a lot like the worst of both worlds. An older sketchier house that's far away from everyone.

We're fine where we are right now. Our house is certainly big enough for two adults and two babies. Nothing has to be fixed or redone, we're close to all our important places and our family isn't THAT far away. (My sister lives down the STREET. Also, she is under orders not to move when her lease is up because, hello, I'm having ANOTHER BABY.) So I don't know why I think about this so much. I think I want to know where I'm going to Be. Where Jack will go to school and what church we'll attend. I want a garden I can tend to year after year, I want a living room big enough for lots of parties. And when my kid and I are lonely or not feeling well or tired of each other, I want to say, "Go walk over to Grandma's house, I bet she'll give you an ice cream cone."

Comments

[Dr. Maureen]

What, no moving West? You have something against living in the ocean?

Also, have you checked out your local library/libraries? I take Jack to "Monkey Business" most Mondays at my library. It's a half hour of songs and games with time to play with toys before and after (and one of the toys is a MAILBOX and there is much love of that mailbox), and we love it. AND we made a friend there! A NEW FRIEND! WHO LIVES NEARBY! Someone I would have already invited over were it not for my construction zone of a kitchen! She and her daughter are so totally invited over for lunch as soon as the kitchen is done!

Monkey Business Mondays are awesome, because we have breakfast, maybe go to the grocery store, go to the library, run around and get all tired out, come home, have lunch, and then sleep for THREE HOURS.

And you know what else? FREEEEE.

Get thee to your library website and see what they offer.

[Dr. Maureen]

Look, I am helpful:
http://www.spl.org/default.asp?pageID=calendar

I do not know what branch is near you, or I would have narrowed this down.

[Shanna]

OMG- we are really in a similar boat. The condo we live in is spacious enough for us, it is in a great area and the price is right. BUT... I don't love it, we have zero backyard and we don't know our neighbors. This certainly isn't a home that we can grow in but it works for right now. I am just too impatient and controlling to stay here for long. I want to know where my kids are going to grow up, I want to be able to cook dinner in my kitchen while they play in the backyard. And although we still only have one and he is only 2yo, I want it ALL. RIGHT. NOW. So yeah, I feel ya!

[Liz]

We keep wondering if we'll ever move back to the midwest to make being close to grandmas and aunts and uncles possible... Be thankful that your folks are within driving distance! :)

[Skye]

Do NOT feel bad for saying that it's easier when you're not home alone. Your kiddo needs you, but also needs a variety of other people and experiences to grow and learn - and you need it too! In the history of human society, it is profoundly strange and different that we now have moms staying all by themselves in a house to take care of kid(s). We are social creatures.

[Emily]

Maybe we should all move to a commune somewhere.