Yet another glimpse into my messed up mind

I used to read books. Those books on the bookshelves? ALL MINE. Phillip owns, like, The Simpsons Encyclopedia and the entire score to Cosi Fan Tutte, but those don't count. And those books aren't just from old college classes either. They're books I bought at actual bookstores because I used to be a devoted reader of numerous book blogs and someone would say, "Hey, The Thin Place by Kathryn Davis ROCKED MY WORLD!" and I would have to go out and buy it. I might come home and read the first 20 pages and decide Kathryn Davis was not my cup of tea, but I never felt like I wasted my money. I was, after all, contributing to the Literary Sphere. Somehow.

Then Jack was born and I am pretty sure the last book I read was the final Harry Potter book, which I read in one whole Saturday while Phillip promised to keep our baby alive.

It's not that I don't read anymore. Have you seen my feed reader? I just don't read books. I have forty-seven magazine subscriptions, and not just to US Weekly. I have my political magazines (on the left and right, thankyouverymuch, which is why I am getting annoying amounts of fund raising mail from the DNC and the RNC) and my local "this is where you should go for breakfast next Saturday" magazines and okay okay my entertainment magazines and my very favorite, The Atlantic Monthly, which ends up in piles under my side of the bed because I have a hard time finishing it before the next one arrives.

But books. I don't read many books anymore.

A week or two ago a friend of mine was telling me about this fabulous book she was reading and since she was telling me about it while we were standing outside a Barnes & Noble, I decided to go buy it. Which is how I ended up with The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett on my nightstand. Apparently this is an Oprah book? That is twenty some years old? That everyone just LOVES? I was telling my Retired To Full Time Reader Status dad about my new book and he said HE liked and well, I am nothing if not a Dad Pleaser, so I dug into my book and...

I CAN'T READ IT. GAH.

I have this really embarrassing problem called An Overactive Imagination. It's really bad. It's one of my Highly Anxious Personality Traits. I wasn't always like this- I distinctly remember watching plenty of disturbing movies and reading scary books all without having nervous breakdowns- but I'm losing my ability to separate the Real from the Not Real. Seriously.

For one thing, I sort of overlooked the part where this book is set in the Days of Yore. Like, a LONG TIME AGO. When there were no baths and no toothbrushes and no last names. Where life was a bit more rough and tumble than it is now. Where you might have to be afraid of the Blasted English Invaders bursting into your family hut and running their spears through your parents' abdominal cavities.

I KNOW.

I've had to put this book down, like, fifteen times and I haven't even got to the good part yet, where the main character starts building his cathedral. I keep telling myself I just need to get to that part, then I'll be so engrossed I won't even care when someone does something horrible, but... okay. I will spoil a small part of this book. When a mother dies in childbirth, the father leaves the baby in the woods. Alone. To possibly be eaten by wolves.

AAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!

See, I KNOW that he had reason to do so (how is he supposed to feed the baby? he is starving himself!) and that this happened eons ago and that actually that baby is saved by a passerby which is a big ole plot point AND THESE ARE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS, but I can't quite get over the fact that this was life in the Days of Yore. I'm sure that at some point in history, somebody DID leave their newborn baby alone in a forest! OH THE HUMANITY. And that is where I have to put my book down and have it out with God because WHY MUST WE LIVE IN THIS VALE OF TEARS?

The last book I really got into I had to put down, because of 1) child abuse and 2) every single character had a secret and/or was lying and if these people just came clean everything would be FINE and it was DRIVING ME INSANE. I still haven't finished that one.

You think the nightly news is bad? Just give me a novel!

I fully intend to pick up this book again- because I AM into it, bloody gore and all- but I need to give it a couple of days. In the meantime, I feel guilt over the fact that I still haven't read a stupid book in months. I just saw on the Google news page that they're planning to split the last Harry Potter movie into two parts, which makes me think I should reread book seven. I did, after all, read that hulking thing in one day so I obviously missed a few things. And as far as I can remember, Harry Potter hasn't given me an anxiety attack.

But do you have any book suggestions? That won't send me into a pit of fear and/or paranoia? I've heard there is a sequel to Kiki Strike, which I LOOOOOOOVED, so I may go get that. Also because my sister knows I will buy books and let her read them when I'm finished and she may or may not have been bugging me for months to go buy it already.

Oh, and for those of you who actually made it this far and are all, "BUT WHAT ABOUT THE BABY" I have a post up at Parenting about girls vs. boys, as in, which kind I would prefer the second time around. I live to supply you with content.

Comments

[Jenny]

Have you read the Wally Lamb books? I know they are old, so you may have already read them like when you were in high school because you are quite a bit younger than me, but they have to be my absolute favorite books. I havent read anything from his prison series yet but "I know this much is true" and "She's come undone" are two of my all time favorite books.

[Colleen]

I'm having a hard time loving Pillars of the Earth too. (And I have enjoyed Ken Follett books in the past.)

For a light hearted, fun read, you might try The Princess Bride (by William Goldman). It is a gazillion times funnier than the movie. The writing is a hoot. And no babies are left to be eaten by wolves.

[Elizabeth]

If you read Sloppy Firsts and Second Helpings (two different books), you won't be sorry, and they aren't hard reads, and no one leaves any babies in any forests. Another favorite of mine is Youth in Revolt, which makes me laugh harder than any other book ever has. No babies left in the forest in that one either.

[Becky]

De-lurking to say that, while I don't share the same trait, my mom is the exact same way. She couldn't even read the Harry Potter series because of how he is treated in the first book! ("making him live under the stairs is just awful. it's child abuse!")

So, it could be worse. :)

[portlandmom]

I know, I know - I have a hard time watching anything besides Disney Channel or reading anything except my Harry Potter books. We watched 3:10 to Yuma AND The Assasination of Jesse James and during both I kept thinking -"Oh, I am SO glad I didn't live back then, what with all the train robbing and lawlessness of the Frontier, etc.....The POOR WOMEN AND CHILDREN!" Must I feel everything so deeply?!

[Carrie]

I liked Pillars of the Earth, but just failed miserably at getting through the sequel. Hated the beginning and gave up. I dont have that kind of spare time.

I mainly just read fluffy chick lit books. Stuff with characters who live in big cities and have fancy jobs and wear expensive clothes. And no baby snot on their shoulders... Or British chick lit. That's my favorite. I try to avoid reading anything that makes me think. Too few brain cells for that.

[Maureen]

By bizarre coincidence, I am rereading _The Princess Bride_ right now! It is good, I recommend it. Also any of the Discworld series by Terry Pratchett. Brilliant and funny "fantasy" satire. But they're not really fantasy. Honest. I don't like fantasy as a general rule, but I love love love the Discworld books. _Guards! Guards!_ is a good one to start with.

I can totally relate to your problems with reading heavy stuff, though. I remember seeing _U-571_ and I had to pretend I needed to use the bathroom because I could not take the scene where they were dropping bombs on the sub, because while THESE people weren't real, WWII was real and many people in subs were killed in JUST THAT WAY. So war movies are now a no-go for me. Ditto any torture scenes; I had to cover my eyes while watching season 2 of _24_. And ever since having Jack, I can't take movies with kids being treated badly. We tried to watch _Life is Beautiful_ a month or two ago, and I had to shut it off immediately because the little kid reminded me of Jack. "He looks exactly like Jack!" I said, even though he doesn't look like Jack, he just has a small face.

[Maureen]

Oh, and I recorded all of the PBS documentary _The War_ and Andrew made DVDs for me and I will probably never ever watch them because I sincerely doubt I can handle it.

[Renae]

Just got done with PS I Love You - very good. If you're interested I'll send it to you (when my friend is done with it). I'm loving the whole pay it forward book movement so if you're up for it let me know.

Also just ready Jodi Picoult's My Sister's Keeper. It was good - stunning and emotional but good. Picoult is really good about doing the funky life applications.

[Katie]

I loved Pillars of the Earth. I love a lot of books. Black Ships by Jo Graham is a new one that I'm currently caught up in.

I'm actually commenting to say that if fictional violence, etc. bothers you that much then DO NOT EVER READ Alice Sebold's The Lovely Bones. My god, it's years later and I'm still traumatized. Why everyone *loves* this book I will never, never understand.

[veronica]

I RARELY read books these days, too. And I am definitely a book lover. About two years ago I read, "Water for Elephants". I highly recommend this book. It's a great ride about Circus life during the depression era.

[andnotbysight]

I vote for The Princess Bride and the Discworld novels (I'm reading them now--just read Guards! Guards! a few weeks ago, and it's a good one). I always like Jane Austen, too.

[Elaine]

Twilight by Stephenie Meyer, and its sequels. Oh my gosh! Pure fluff, very easy reading, and you and your husband will be happy you read them. The movie is supposed to be coming out in December. I'm sure it won't measure up, but still, I can't wait!

[Christy]

Maybe I need to check out Pillars of the Earth again, I read it in high school and HATED it. My friend and I called it Pillows of the Earth, because we actually thought it was boring. I haven't read anything by Follett since then because of it.

[Tessie]

This is why I COULD NOT HANDLE Cormac McCarthy's The Road. Man, I just cannot do Depressing+Children any more.

[Jen]

Read all the Edward Eager books. They are little small books and if you liked Harry Potter, you will definitely like them. Plus, they are not horrifying, but fun and magical and clever. I also suggest the Artemis Fowl books.

[Jess]

I totally do that to myself. I get upset reading about fictional characters (or watching them in movies). And I try to fix it by reminding myself that they don't really exist, but I always then think BUT SOMEONE LIKE THEM DOES and things like this ACTUALLY DO HAPPEN and that traumatizes me. A lot.

[corey]

Delurking to say I had the same problem. I got back into reading by starting with the chick lit books too. After awhile of that, I found I was ready to get into heavier stuff. Jodie Picoult is good. I also love to punish myself with Joyce Carol Oates, she is so dark, but good.
It's amazing how once we become mothers, our perspectives change. I used to love Dateline and 20/20 and all those shows too, but now I can't watch any because I just imagine my child in every senario!

[Arwen]

I am the same way. I cannot watch movies or read books where Disturbing Things happen. More than five years ago I read a Madeleine L'Engle book which contained a fairly graphic description of a lynching and I still get the heebie-jeebies when I think about it because even though that particular lynching was fictional, there have been real lynchings with real people and I CANNOT THINK ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT IS TOO HORRIBLE. And as for any kind of mistreatment involving children: I kid you not, I do not even read news headlines when I'm browsing the Internet anymore because a mere mention of any sort of child-related horror will have me obsessing for hours.

Oddly enough, I love murder mysteries. But I have to be very very careful about the books I read and the things I watch. I feel your pain.

[Mary Catherine]

I never finished Pillars of the Earth, either. I got through the intense parts by skipping to the end of the chapter and finding out if the people were still alive (you think THAT part is bad? Wait till there's the 10 year old boy who's in danger of being buried under a burning cathedral roof!), but honestly, I just didn't think it was intellectually stimulating enough to warrant all the pages it took to tell its story. I guess I'm a snob, maybe. If I'm going to spend that much time reading it, I want something interesting to think about. I love brain candy books, don't get me wrong, but they shouldn't take three weeks to read.

Also, I didn't like the sex scenes. I have a theory about sex scenes: if you don't lose important character or thematic elements by eliminating them, then by all means, eliminate them immediately. That goes for just about anything else in a book that's fluffy, too.

I do have a super recommended brain candy book, though - have you ever read "The Beekeeper's Apprentice," by Laurie King? It's FANTASTIC. And if you don't want brain candy I recommend Lewis's Space Trilogy.

[Charlotte]

I've never commented but I am a book addict and couldn't resist.

Craig Ferguson's book "Between the Bridge and the River" is great. It is smart, funny, dirty and fabulous. One things I love about reading is figuring out who the author has read (it's laced in everyone's work) and Ferguson is exceptionally well read. I emphatically recommend this book. There are always a few books that I buy more than others to stuff in with a present or forcibly impose on friends and this is one of them.

Also, I love reading Ayelet Waldman's booklog ---not just because I almost always agree with her. Plus, she's married to the amazing writer Michael Chabon. When I feel uninspired or the bookstore looks grim, I plunder her booklog.
http://www.ayeletwaldman.com/booklog/