I would really like some French toast for breakfast

Wondering where the fluff went? Well! Yesterday I ventured into a maternity store (you know which one, the eeeeeevil one) and managed to exit with dignity intact. You can find out what I was doing there and whether or not I snuffed the life out of my annoying sales clerk over at Parenting.

Why won't my kid nap? I swear, with all the flailing and screeching you'd think I was about to waterboard him rather than rock him to sleep and/or lay him gently in his crib with a sweet naptime kiss. This is a relatively new development, but I'll take this over the 5 am wake up times which was last week's Most Annoying Thing.

So guess what! A friend of mine told me he started his very own BLOG. And you know how that makes my heart go pitter pat. I've tried in vain to get all sorts of friends to start websites, but most of them are far from interested. The ones that have actually opened up a Blogger account and thought of a name ended up posting for all of one week. BOO. So I was delighted to hear about my friend's new venture and told him I would most definitely give it a plug and then he told me his blog is about the hovercraft that he is building in his garage. Now. If you are like me, your response is, "Hoverwhat?" But I said I'd pimp it out anyway. I don't know how many mommyblog readers are into hovercrafts, but I know lots of you have Nerdy Husbands for whom hovercrafts may be fascinating reading material!

The trick, in case any of you are interested, is to deposit your kicking and screaming and OBVIOUSLY TIRED child in his crib before you start acting on those thoughts of prescription drugs. You leave him in there to moan and complain and howl and throw himself around while you update your blog and check your email. Ten or fifteen minutes later you go back into his room, yank him out, sit him in your lap, pin his arms and legs down with a blanket, say very firmly, "IT IS TIME TO GO TO SLEEP" and start the whole rocking process over again. And then, maybe, if you are lucky and he is very tired, he will go to sleep.

I feel like we've reverted back to five and six months when the only way to get him down was to stand up and rock the everloving crap out of him. Around seven and eight months we discovered the joys of putting a Drowsy But Awake baby in his crib and having him fall asleep on his own. But then we entered a wicked teething phase and it all went to pot. The difference is that I am not neurotic about it. I don't mind rocking him for his naps. I've seen him go to sleep on his own. He'll probably do it again some day.

Oh, and regarding the whole maternity clothes store thing which you will have to read about ELSEWHERE, is it appropriate to wear a little black dress to a city wedding? Having been to plenty of city weddings, I would say: Yes! How chic! EXCEPT. I am always paranoid that someone's grandma is giving me the stinkeye for wearing black. I really am. What do you think? Oh, I should also add that city weddings in THIS city always have a high chance of someone showing up in Goretex boots and pants that zip off around the knees.

Comments

[Jenny Ryan]

My sister-in-law is getting married next month and I am ALL about the black outfit. Because lo, the black, it is so very slimming :)

[Liz]

Let me know if you want to come sort through my closet. Are we that kind of friends yet?... But otherwise, black will be just lovely. As Stacy and Clinton would say, pair it with a colorful bag and a spring-y shoe! And whatever, you're so above Grandma's stinkeye.

[Jenn]

I must be a giant nerd because building a hovercraft sounds AWESOME. I even have a story! A couple of years ago at my company Christmas party, the husband of one of our sales reps was telling us about how he took his hovercraft in to school to show his physics class. One of our other sales reps was absolutely fascinated and every time there was a lull in conversation for the rest of the night, he would ask more questions about the hovercraft. Ever since then, before every Christmas party, Tom and I try to think of ways to bring the conversation around to hovercrafts.

So there you go. I have nothing to say about babies or weddings, but hovercrafts? Bring it!

[Maureen]

Black is absolutely fine. No one except hopelessly out of touch people even think twice about it. White is still verboten, of course.

Do you have a Macy's with a maternity section? Try them. I am RIGHT THERE WITH YOU in your loathing for a certain maternity store whose name may or may not rhyme with "Brotherhood Paternity."

[Jen]

I went to a wedding last summer that I had to buy a new dress for. I got so incredibly sick of looking for a dress that I bought one that was a whole size too big. It looks like it swallowed me. And I wore it anyway and will probably wear it again this summer. Because dress shopping is awful.

[Jess]

Wait, what's wrong with the black? I don't get it. You can totally wear it. Nobody will give you the stinkeye.

[Arwen]

Remember that episode of The Office where Phyllis gets married and Kelly wears white (with a tiara, no less) and when someone asks her about it she says, "There was an emergency" but then it cuts to her in the confessional saying in this snotty voice, "I look really good in white."? That episode was hilarious.

You can totally wear black to weddings. Who cares about Grandma-Stink-Eye? Plus, you're pregnant, you have an excuse.

Empire waists are really in right now. Couldn't you find an empire-waisted dress in the regular section?

TEETHING IS THE WORK OF THE DEVIL.

[Cathy]

I just mentioned to Dan that you were extremely excited a friend started a blog, even if it is about hovercrafts. Anyway, before I could check who it was, he asked, "Do you think it's Nathan?" Whaddaya know? IT IS!

[annie]

Littl black dress - absolutely yes. If you're self conscious about it,then throw in a splash of color with your shoes or accessories or bag. That way you still feel chic (or as chic as one can while pregnant) and you're also a bit springy because of the splash and you don't have to be self conscious in the least. Actually, my mom wore a little black dress (it was DARLING. perfect cut, perfect amount of sparkles, just perfect.) to my wedding. Boy did my priest give her grief. He was just kidding of course, but I think it made her a little self conscious. My point, though, is that if my own MOTHER can wear a black dress to her daughter's wedding and get away with it, then you can certainly wear one to a friend's wedding without any worries. AND. As I said on your parenting post - you'd better share what you find. Pregnant women (well, me) everywhere who have to attend fancy clothes events are counting on you!

[Elizabeth]

I say you are pregnant, you get to wear whatever you want to a wedding.

[Carrie]

Yes, the black is fine. I agree with a previous commenter, dress it up with some pretty accessories. Maybe pink purse and scarf or something.

And I laughed at your comment about goretex boots at the wedding- we're a lot of things in Seattle, but fashionable is NOT one of them. :)

[Nancy]

I have faced the same dilemma and was thinking of doing it again this summer (re: black at wedding). So glad to hear everyone seems to think it's now acceptable.

Having said that though, there were two guests at our summer wedding who wore black cocktail dresses and it seemed weird. Like they were going to the clubs afterwards. I know we all look best in black, plus stores seem to make most of their cutest dresses in black, but since then, I make an effort to include splashes of colour, like a hot pink pashmina, to show that I actually am going to a wedding and not about to hit the dance floor.