GOTOSLEEPGOTOSLEEPGOTOSLEEP

Thanks for the links, guys. I've already checked out a few and can I just say you all have excellent taste? LOVE your recommendations. In fact, reading some new sites is exactly what I'd be doing right now IF my kid hadn't just woken up from his HALF HOUR NAP and was now rolling about his crib and sharing his displeasure with the entire neighborhood.

(Do not email me to say I should be thankful I get a half hour. I KNOW I SHOULD BE THANKFUL. THIS IS NOT A THANKFUL KIND OF POST.)

Lest you think I'm allowing my sweet baby to howl in his crib, my kid does not cry. There ARE some modifiers to that statement: he cries if he's desperately horribly tired, if he's desperately horribly hungry or if a larger baby has just startled the crap out of him. But it takes forever until he's tired or hungry enough to cry (the startled cry, though, that's instantaneous) and instead we, his parents, are treated to prolonged bouts of complaining.

I'm telling you this to show you that I am completely full of it when I happen to be venting about my kid. He pouts, he moans, he squeals, he shrieks, he protests, he yells (oh my, he yells), but he oh so rarely screams his head off. I know. So shut up, me.

BUT. Just because he isn't crying doesn't mean I am not considering leaving him in his crib until lunchtime. The boy woke up at four this morning. Four! And I dutifully padded out of bed and tried to put him back to sleep and when that didn't work, let him eat a little. Then, since I was feeling charitable about having been able to sleep until four (the prince usually hollers for attention around one or two as well), I sat in the chair and rocked him for a very long time. A very. Long. Time. I was telling myself I should enjoy my sweet little five-month-old baby because five months is my favorite so far and it only lasts one month (how unfair!) and so I rocked him and rocked him and rocked him and finally he fell asleep. This never happens to me. It happens to my mother and my grandmother and Phillip, but for me putting the baby to sleep means vigorous violent dancing and bouncing and singing. Anyway. There I was feeling uber proud of my sleep techniques (oh yes, rocking to sleep is now a TECHNIQUE) and oh so gently I laid my baby in his crib. Whereupon his eyes INSTANTLY flashed open and a big grin broke out on his chubby face.

I covered him up, turned on the mobile and went back to bed to pretend that the baby thing never happened and I've been sleeping eight hours a night all along.

Eventually Phillip got up and put him back to sleep. How, I have no idea. My husband is the baby whisperer. (Come to think of it, he should ALWAYS be the one to put the baby to sleep, don't you think?) And then he woke up at six (six!) and because I am a loving and serving wife, I carted the baby downstairs for some cereal and floortime. Phillip was a doll and put the baby down for his nap before he left for work, but that was only a half hour ago.

I AM TIRED.

The sleep deprivation didn't bother me in the beginning. I expected it. But now? I AM TIRED. Right before I started this post I went in there and picked him up and spent 15 minutes rocking him back to sleep. I even waited another ten minutes to make doubly sure he was asleep before I oh so gently laid him in his crib. But no dice. Awake! Rolling! Rubbing his eyes! Totally annoyed at the fact that he is stuck in his crib!

It is only 9 in the morning, the time when most babies are taking their first nap. HEAR THAT, JACKSON? YOUR FIRST NAP SHOULD START AT NINE. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

Okay, the whining is starting to get really pathetic. Just thought I'd share. I'd be off to fall asleep in my Honey Bunches of Oats while Jack plays in the exersaucer, except that I joined the freaking weight loss challenge and Honey Bunches of Oats are dead to me. WHAT WAS I THINKING.

Comments

[Lisa]

Don't feel bad about complaining about your sleep deprivation. Your experience is your experience, and it is not diminished in any way by the fact that others have had exponentially worse instances of sleep deprivation or children who screamed bloody murder for no apparent reason. That still doesn't take away from the fact that you are tired and your baby won't nap like he should. Especially when you are trying to WORK. How dare he!

Besides, it's YOUR blog, so you can cry if you want to.

I, too, have abandoned my Honey Bunches of Oats for a variety with far fewer grams of sugar. Dang those health conscious articles! Unfortunately, I'm now feeding my sugar addiction with my daily dose of very rich carrot cake from the local deli, which I'm sure has at least double the sugar content of HBOO. Why do I even bother?

[Madame Queen]

Hi. I know this is going to sound weird, but someone hijacked my URL etc. and commented on your site! I was checking my sitemeter account and noticed that I had some referrals from your site, which was out of the ordinary so I clicked over. Has that ever happened to you before? I'm really upset about this.

[Tara]

The five month-olds must have had a convention and decided that it was a 30 minute kind of nap day. Sigh.

[Amanda]

I understand your pain. We suffered through three 30-minute naps today. The apparently sleeping baby whose eyes open immediately upon being laid down is torture, particularly in the middle of the night. The poor sleeping phase cannot last forever, however - I have been sleeping through the night for as long as I can remember.

[annie]

Christopher didn't start taking regular naps until he was just over 5 months old. I remember going CRAZY trying to get him to nap and he just wouldn't. But then all of a sudden, it just started happening. Sometimes they were long glorious naps. Others they were 30 minutes only. Those were not happy days in our house. I have been known on many a 30 minute nap day to just leave him in his crib "a little bit longer" figuring that it will teach him (or force him, rather) to REST. Mornings still work like this in our house - we get up around 7:30ish regardless of when Christopher wakes up (unless it's later than 7:30. He just hangs in his crib, talking to himself or playing with his Fisher Price RainForest. He's become rather self-sufficient in that way. And only sometimes do I feel guilty for going back to sleep when I hear him babbling.
Anyway. My point is - don't be surprised if sleep starts to get better now that you've passed the 5 month mark. Hopefully you'll be a rested mama very soon.

[Manda]

STUPID WEIGHT LOSS CHALLENGE!
You could always rent your kid out to Montel Williams for one of those "scared straight" shows where they give 13 year old girls who want babies a real, live baby to look after ALL ALONE for 24 hours. Jack might get dropped a few times but at least you'd get some sleep, right?
:)

[Mrs. Flinger]

YEYEESSSSS OMG! YEEESSSS. Are you me?! Are you? Because I wrote this. No, wait, I THOUGHT this. GAHHH. My five month old is doing the same thing.

Also, did I mention how you're doing fine? Because pretzels and icing? Remember? :-)