Sleeping through the night

The baby slept through the night Sunday night. 9pm to 6:30am. I know. You may all pick your jaws up off the floor.

We hardly hoped that he'd sleep through last night as well. But he did, mostly. I got up twice to put a pacifier in his asleep but moaning mouth (does anyone else's baby do this?) because I couldn't stand listening to it on the monitor. (Smarter people than I would turn off the monitor, but... I'm not quite there yet.)

After taking four naps yesterday (FOUR), the baby went to bed at 8 and slept all the way to 4:30 when he woke up demanding breakfast. Not bad, huh? I should have got a lot of sleep, even with getting up to tend to the pacifier.

BUT NO. Sometime after the second pacifier trip I was lying in bed willing myself to go back to sleep, a process that takes forever as all three of my longtime readers know. I was cursing my snoring husband and my moany kid and the heat (85 degrees in September? Must we?) when suddenly I heard this out my bedroom window:

"AWWWWWWWWWWrrrrggghhhhhSHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIII...."

(You can probably finish the last consonant for yourself.)

I heard it once. I heard it twice. By the third time I was certain the source was in my front yard.

"Phillip," I hissed. "There is a crazy person in our front yard."

(This has been known to happen. We live in the city, after all, and mere blocks away from a Very Sketchy Highway where Very Sketchy Types have been known to hang out and do their Very Sketchy Things.)

Phillip said, "Harrwha? Snerf?"

"AWWWWWWWWWWrrrrrrggggghhhhsssshhhHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIII...."

As you can imagine, it was sort of disturbing. I pictured one lone meth addict wandering pantsless up and down our street, bemoaning the loss of his last five dollars, or some such tragedy. I mean, he sounded bereft. Well, crazy and bereft. I almost felt sorry for him until I fumbled around for my glasses to get a look at the clock: two in the morning.

"Maybe we should call the police."

"Fuhh?"

"Maybe one of the neighbors have already called the police. You think?"

"Huh?"

"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWrrrrrgggghhhssshhhhhhhhh....."

"WHAT WAS THAT?!"

"For the love of GOD-"

"Is that guy in our FRONT YARD?!"

We both laid in bed waiting for the next utterance of alcohol-inflected misery. We didn't quite know what to do. It wasn't like when I lived in the studio apartment across from the tavern and I had the police on speed dial. Bot of us were hoping he'd just go away (or at least get picked up by one of the cops constantly cruising around- I told you I live in a sketchy neighborhood) but after fifteen or twenty minutes he was still sharing his unhappiness with the entire block.

"I think we should call the police." (Meaning: I think YOU should call the police.)

"Maybe he'll just go away."

"I'm not sure I like your obvious disregard for the safety of your wife and son."

"What do you want me to do? Run out there in my underwear waving my rifle?"

"You could at least look out the window. Maybe brandish a Wii controller."

"AWWWWWrrrgghhhSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII....."

And then he was gone. Maybe he just drifted onto another street to incite the same conversations in those bedrooms, I don't know. I love our house. I love our neighbors. But once our kid is old enough to play outside I think we'll be looking for a new place to live.

The baby slept through the whole thing. Good boy! And now I have to go wake him up from his nap (I KNOW) to go to a new moms group thing (I KNOW!) If anyone wants the secret to my sleeping through the night success it is this: Obsess about it and make sure everyone knows you're obsessing about it. Then your baby will make you look stupid.

Comments

[Jenn]

Snerf, indeed! We get the occasional middle of the night stumbling drunk around, here, too. In fact, when Tom was working second shift, we were on our way to bed at 2 AM when I happened to look outside and saw 2 guys peeing on the guardrail across the street. Kids play outside here with no ill effects. The trick is to make sure they're not playing outside at 3 AM.

[Jenny Ryan]

Yay for sleeping through the night!! :)

[E.]

We lived in a very sketchy area ourselves. I LOVED the house, but I didn't love the drunk people in our front yard at 2 a.m. either. I also didn't like the gunfire I'd hear at night. Nor did I much care for the stalker, the hostage situations that would take place from time to time on our street, the drug vials tossed into our front yard in the middle of the night, or the all-too-close double homicide. Yes, by the time the kid is old enough to play outside, flee to the suburbs.

[Arwen]

I am so jealous that I'm afraid we can't be friends any more. I wish we could, but it just can't be done. Unless you'd like to switch babies?

[Laura]

yay on sleeping through the night and hubby GET UP and check that out!!!

[jackie]

for what it's worth, we live on a busy street in suburbia, and though it's not too sketch of a neighborhood, when I'm rocking the baby at 2 am, I have nightmarish visions of a car careening through our living room going 50 mph. We have to move too!