Return of the chunk

I am winding down from a most excellent weekend with wonderful friends. Four couples, four babies, lots of talking and heaps of food make for a fabulous, if exhausting, time. Once I get my pictures uploaded I will treat you all to the four cutest hapa babies you've ever seen.

Of course, four babies means we are all exhausted on a level I've never quite experienced. And our kids were GOOD! Super nappers, happy with their toys, friendly with the grown ups, perfection in chubby packages. But still. Very tiring. Also,

Jackson

kept looking at me like, "What is up with all this noise, woman? Aren't you supposed to be the one taking care of me? Could you please shut those other babies up?"

Anyway, it is the food I would like to talk about right now. (What I should be doing instead: stripping off the spit up and slobbered on shirt, climbing into bed, ordering my husband to give me a foot rub. The things I do for you!)

So, the food. Cinnamon rolls. Noodles with peanut sauce. Salmon and rice. This crazy yummy chickpea and black bean and rice and chicken thing. Fricking VEGAN DOUGHNUTS. Before the weekend started I was completely in love with myself for having dropped two pounds in the last week. Two! That is two whole pounds more than I'd lost in, oh, about a month.

This morning I saw that I gained one of those pounds back. And tomorrow morning I will probably note that I have gained back the other as well. And all I have to say about that is: DAMN YOU, FRIENDS WHO KEEP FEEDING ME DELICIOUS CARBOHYDRATES! 

(And the wine. I may have had a bit of wine.) 

Seriously people. I am feeling the Carbo Loader Blues tonight. I was doing so well! Salads for lunch, meat and vegetables for dinner and sucking down low carb fudgsicles when tempted to throw back an entire bag of chocolate chips. But this weekend I ate my weight in rice and bread and noodles, not to mention hefty side orders of sweets. (We went here Saturday night! How could I help myself?!)

Here is the sad truth, Internet. Sweet adorable Jackson required forty-five pounds to bring him into this world. (Well, that’s how I like to think of it. I’m positive he needed all that ice cream.) Two weeks after his birth I’d lost about twelve pounds (two weeks being how long it was before I was brave enough to check. Perhaps I should have waited longer. Twelve pounds? Six of those were Jack!) Three and a half months later I’ve lost 28 pounds total. I have 17 more to go before I’m back to what I was when I got pregnant. (It would be 15, but no, I had to eat doughnuts this weekend. VEGAN doughnuts.)

When I put it that way it doesn’t sound so terrible. But I lost most of those 28 pounds pretty early on and the last month or so has been slow going. Those summer clothes never made it out of their plastic storage box. And the last 17 are the difference between the fat jeans I’ve been wearing all summer and the two sizes smaller stuff in the back of my closet.

I know I know. It’s called: Don’t Eat The Ice Cream, Moron. But what’s a personal website for if you can’t occasionally slop around in a bucket of self pity?

 

Oh, and all you people who are all, "Breastfeeding! It is a weight loss miracle!" You people are liars. Ly. Ers.

Sigh. 

I’m hoping to get a post up sometime soon about Three Months: A Whole New Baby and Do Everyone’s Husbands Play Dorky Board Games Requiring Miniature Plastic Fantasy Creatures You Can't Bear To Admit Actually Belong To Him Or Just Mine? But seriously, I was not kidding when I said my shirt was soaked with slobber. I'm starting to reek.

Comments

[Sarah]

Amen to the breastfeeding= weight loss lie!!! I had to buy new clothes because I don't even fit into my fat jeans... and now I want a doughnut.

[Laura]

A Vegan donut..what? Come on with the real Dunkin Donuts girl. Seriously, at least you have the pregnancy excuse..I gain weight just for the heck of it. Oh, and no one should have to give up ice cream!

I can't wait to see the pics and I am glad you made the Hapa distinction...for a minute I thought Annslee was being left out of the cutest baby in the world contest LOL

[kris]

I want an autographed copy of your first book.

I'll wait in line.

[Lisa]

I have a cousin who is five months pregnant, and she is one of those truly annoying people who keep a regular stash of ice cream for daily meals and still disappears when she turns sideways (or did prior to pregnancy). Now, she looks like a pencil with this tiny little baby bulge, and from the back you can't even tell she's pregnant. And I can almost GUARANTEE that she will go right back to stick figure as soon as that baby is born. How some people are born with that kind of metabolism and the rest of us have to debate the merits of indulging in anything with sugar in it is beyond me.

I feel your pain.

[Annie]

The breastfeeding thing is TOTALLY a lie. I'm convinced of it now. Before, I thought that people who gained the "recommended amount" (or at least close to it) could lose it by breastfeeding, while those of us who gained 80+ (the plus is my own way of trying to convince myself that it was closer to 80 than to 90) were doomed forever. Now I see that even those of you who didn't gain half your weight during pregnancy are in the same boat. It's terrible, I tell you.

But your numbers sound good! You're doing it! It just takes a whole heck of a lot longer than you think it's going to.

[Stevie]

Seriously - I'm waaaayyyy hungrier when I breastfeed then when I am pregnant. Talk about eating for two!

[Colleen]

I just stumbled onto your blog today; what a riot! I had to comment about husbands and the dorky board game fantasy creatures... YES, I know exactly what you are talking about. I actually gave in and had to put on dark glasses and a hat so I could slink into one of the stores to buy my husband a gift card for his birthday. The sales guy asked me how old my son was turning!!!

[Emeth Hesed]

I gained 60 with my baby. I went up FIVE sizes. It was extremely depressing. The weight didn't start coming off till she was about five months old. My mom had 3 babies and she said it took her about 2 years to recover from each pregnancy.