This is where the clever title goes

I can't figure out how to go outside. How does it work? I've been sitting here for an hour going over all the possibilities in my head and I still can't figure out how to do it. Jackson and I have yet to drive anywhere on our own and I'm not quite ready for that. I can put him in the wrap and go for a walk, but what if he gets annoyed with the wrap and wants out and then what do I do? I could push the stroller just in case, but that's a drag. I could just put him in the stroller to begin with, but then I can't go to the grocery store if I want to buy more than a box of cereal. My friends will yell at me if I walk around the lake (about 3 miles) and what if he cries when I'm halfway around? I need to buy some summer clothes, but that requires driving AND the stroller AND potential fussiness when I'm too far from home. And oh God what if he gets HUNGRY?

I'm exhausted just thinking about it. I'll probably go outside to water the flowers and get the mail and after that I might do the dishes and we'll save all the outing logistics for when Phillip gets home.

Getting outside is important because it's pretty dull staying home with a three-week-old. We do a lot of sitting. A lot of marching up and down the stairs to change our clothes and diapers and scenery. We attempt to sleep, but one of us is not particularly cooperative on that point. He prefers to sleep in the wrap, or in my arms while I am standing up and bouncing him and, preferably, singing a personalized version of 'Mr. Sandman', which goes, ahem:

Mr. Jackson
Please go to sleep!
Though you're the cutest that I've ever seen
You're pretty cranky and fussy right now
I'd like to sleep tonight somehow!

And repeat. For some reason, even though I'm an excellent singer, this doesn't really work. It does, however, give me something to do and occasionally drowns out the endless string of "Eh! Eh! Meh! Ugh! Eh!" that makes up Jack's brand of Why Can't You People Take Care Of Me Right Fussiness.

That face looks like this:

You people can't really be my parents? Right?

He's not always fussy. Sometimes he looks like this:

Jackson 'Kermit' Cheung

Comments

[kris]

Oh I'm sorry it's hard deciding to go or
not to go, and to worry about things I haven't even considered yet... but it opens my eyes a little. (Although since I'm adopting my girl won't be this young). Hang in there. I hope you find the balance soon!

He's so cute in those pics!

[jackie]

That face! That face! LOLLLL!!!

My baby made a funny face at that age, it looked very much like "Blue Steel" from Zoolander. Ha!

[Shannon]

Oh I love those pics==priceless! I used to sing a personalized version of "Don't cry for me Argentina"--it was don't cry for me baby m.--the truth was it didn't really work for her either! OK still cracking up about the first pic--what a cutie!

[Laura]

Hey...do what you've got to do. I have a song too and I can't sing but eventually it works for her. Feed the baby then run out to the store and Daddy can manage for a minute.....have a little Maggie time girl.

[Lindsay]

That second picture just made my heart stop. THANKS A LOT, MAGGIE.

P.S. I just finally saw your email. To say I've been busy and lots of stuff has been happening would be an understatement; I'll be emailing you soon. I hope.

Also? I completely forgive you for making my heart stop with your adorable baby. Just uh, try to make him a little less irresistably cute-looking next time, ok? :o)

[Christina]

I don't think I did any serious trips (outside of strolls around the neighborhood) without hubby for a long time. It's just so complicated and stressful! (and in general, I'm not good at outings by myself anyway)
Love the cranky face - he is one seriously expressive kid! Such a doll. :-)

[karianne]

I'm in love!

PS. I don't think that I left the house either in those first days. Way too overwhelming. You'll get it though. No rush. And it's hot anyway.

[Maureen]

Hey, in that second picture, I can see some of YOU! He's not quite an exact Phillip replica after all!

As for getting out of the house, might I suggest that your first trip be to Evil Baby Megastore? Because first of all, everyone else there also has a baby, so no one will give you the evil eye if he cries. Second of all, they have a Mother's room for nursing and changing, and they even supply free diapers and wipes! And there's a changing table! It's a sort of transition trip that will help you to see that you can, in fact, manage to go places with the baby without worrying about how you'll feed him if you're out for longer than 30 minutes.

Once you've mastered Evil Baby Megastore outings, my second tip for nursing when out of the house is to use the store dressing rooms. There's usually a bench of some sort and it's private so you can take your top completely off if you want, and it's far better than sitting on a toilet. So you can go look for clothes and plan to nurse him in there. Also, nicer department stores sometimes have a fancy pants bathroom with a couch/chair area; I have nursed Jack multiple times in the Macy's bathroom.

Lastly, it's pretty easy to nurse in the back seat of the car, and no one will really know what you are doing. So there's always that.

And *I* think you are doing awesomely and you are in better mental shape than I was at this time. It will keep getting easier! Promise!

P.S. My daytime lullaby is "Earth Angel" with the word "Earth" changed to "Darlin'." I know, it's so sweet, you almost have to barf. But whatever works.

[Brooke]

This is bringing back lots of memories. Wow. You're also doing far better than I did too. It was so nerve wracking to think of the wee babe getting hungry. They make us feel like it's an emergency when they're hungry, but soon you'll realize that they can wait a few minutes and they'll be just fine.

Here's my assvice. If you're walking with babe in the wrap and he wants out, find a place to sit down and pull him out. Keep going if you want to or turn back home. If you're walking around the lake and he gets hungry, find a place to sit down or a tree to lean against and nurse him. You'll have nice scenery to look at and you can keep going when he's full. If you want to take the stroller to the grocery store, bring an empty backpack. Does the store have the baskets that you carry? Put the groceries in your backpack and haul them home. Extra weight means more calories burned. :-) Clothes shopping, I also nursed in many dressing rooms and bathrooms. I nursed even more times in the back of my car too. I am an extremely modest person but when my babe was born suddenly I didn't care. If she was hungry I nursed her no matter where we were. Not until she was 6 weeks old, but still. And the NUK was a wonderful way to stall her hungry cries when I couldn't get the boob out fast enough. We would have never survived without the NUK even though I was dead set against it. Some babies just need to suck, a lot.

I felt the same way about getting outside. I tried to go out every day. Even if I just sat in a chair with the babe for 15 minutes. Made a world of difference.

Have you heard of the 5 s's for babies? I can't remember who came up with it but they really work the some newborns. They are swaddling, shushing, sucking, swinging, and stomach hold. Anyway, a sshhh sound is really calming for some babies.

Lastly, my babies fussiness consisted of all out screaming, from day one. So I'm very jealous of Jackson's eh, eh's. :-)

Keep it up, you're doing great! That's one georgous baby!

[Carrie]

He is so darn adorable -- I love him!!

My advice to you is to do a few of the things that you want to do during the day in the evening when hubby is home -- walk with him in the sling, go clothes shopping, etc. As you do these things with hubby you will learn a little of how it goes and what things could arrise, and how to fix them. Then you will be more confident to go on your own during the day.

I've learned that everything is daunting at first, but after you've done it a few times, the confidence starts to build, and in a few months you'll be a pro at it.

But the best advice I have is at first -- take hubby. Four hands are better than two when you're learning the ropes!

*HUGS*

[Emily]

Maureen is so damn smart it kills me.

Ditto everything she said.

Also? Try a first outing on a Saturday, when a friend or your mom can go along with you. I always felt much less stressed if I knew someone was with me who could help me out if I was in crisis mode with the baby.

You'll get there.