Naming the boy: the conclusion

Jackson's social security card came in the mail yesterday. I stared at it for a long time because DUDE. I got to pick out someone else's name!

Actually, it was a joint effort. An effort that entailed Phillip refusing to consider any other possibilities and me taking about, oh, nine months to grudgingly accept that fact.

Phillip never really liked the names I liked. My favorite was Elliott. Loved Elliott. The first time I suggested it to Phillip he looked thoughtfully at me, paused, extended his pointer finger and said, "Elll. Eeee. Uttt." This could have ruined my favorite name, but I kept pressing. "It's unusual, but not too unusual! It makes him sound smart! It's a Seattle name!" But pretty much everyone (and by everyone, I mean everyone of the male persuasion) would, upon hearing my preference, say, "Sounds like a wussy name to me." But it wasn't until I started hearing of a few girl Elliotts here and there (BESIDES the Scrubs Elliot who admits she has a BOY'S NAME) that I gave it up.

We originally planned to keep the name secret until the baby was born, the better to stave off potentially disapproving grandparents and friends with no manners. But we could not make a decision. Nothing sounded right. After a while we were desperate for input. If someone asked us if we'd thought of a name, we'd immediately throw out the contenders and lap up the response.

Everyone liked Jackson except me.

When Phillip first suggested it I said, "Everyone will hate that name." Phillip didn't care. Phillip was all about his future little Hong Kong martial arts movie star. (An Asian-American friend asked us recently if Phillip's parents came up with Jackson, because our friend's parents have friends from China named Jackson.) Then we were having dinner with my parents around Christmas time and my dad was churning out possible baby names (which is weird in and of itself because my dad? thinking of baby names?) and one of his suggestions with Jackson. Phillip pounced. "I love that name!"

And now my dad is taking credit. So is one of my brothers, although I can't remember when he had anything to do with it.

I liked James too. I could see myself playing with a baby Jamey and attending James' law school graduation. It was classic and dignified and not at all trendy. Phillip said it was boring.

He rejected Owen and Noah because he knew other babies with those names. He thought Joseph and Samuel were all right. He hated Milo. (I love Milo! Phantom Tollbooth anyone?) My brother used Max before we could. In short, I was not offering any contenders.

I set about resigning myself to Jackson. If all of my friends loved it (or at least said they loved it) I could love it too. I could rid myself of my last-names-are-not-first-names bias. I could learn to love martial arts. But I think I caved because I really like 'Jack' and Phillip said I could call him 'Jack'.

Guess which parent consistently calls him Jack, and has never ever called him Jackson?

Good thing I love it now. It fits, somehow. At the very least, he has a piggy bank with JACKSON painted on the side, so it's a done deal. Oh, and the social security card.

The middle name was a free for all. I always thought I would name my kid after some beloved literary character, or a special relative. I never thought I'd be randomly throwing out every saint's name (because I am a dutiful Catholic, people) and seeing how well they went with Jackson. And again, my two favorites were unacceptable. We couldn't use Michael, Phillip's dad's name, and we couldn't use Samuel. Think about it. For a while I thought I would go with Henry (yes, by now the middle name was entirely mine to decide) but Henry didn't feel right. And you are thinking, "It's a MIDDLE NAME. People don't even NEED middle names. GOD."

I was halfway through labor and still not sure what his middle name was going to be. I still liked Henry. I was considering David. I really like the story of Gideon, but I didn't want to do that to my kid. Then there was Gabriel, the name of an archangel and the cutest sweetest little boy I ever had the pleasure of babysitting eons ago. Phillip wasn't big on Gabriel, though, so sometime in the middle of the night we were staring at our new baby and trying to figure out his middle name.

"David or Gabriel," I said.

"Ooh, I like David," he said.

"I don't know," I said. "Maybe. Maybe not."

We tried calling the baby by both names to see if he responded. He ignored us.

The nurse came in one last time to see how we were doing before she left us to sleep. "Everything okay?"

"We don't know his name!" I said desperately. "Is he Jackson David or Jackson Gabriel?"

"Oh," the nurse said without any hesitation whatsoever. "Jackson Gabriel."

Yes, my dear boy, we let the nurse name you.

I started this post with the intention of telling you what Jackson's (unofficial) Chinese name is, now that my father-in-law has given his decree and my mother-in-law has jotted the characters down on a Post-It note. But I'm very tired from a day of sitting and I'll have to save that, as well as my thoughts on how to retain some sort of connection to his Chinese heritage (I have no clue) for later.

Comments

[Vanessa]

My friends couldn't decide between two middle names, Everett or Zachery. I was pushing for Everett because Ethan Everett just flows. The day they went home they nurse came in and said they had to name the kid soon. So the nurse got to pick. And she chose Everett.I think it's more common than people think, having the nurse name the baby. Glad things are going well. If I lived closer I'd come over and clean and walk with you and the kid.

[Kate]

Phantom Tollbooth? Read it, seen it, love it!
Love the name too, Jack is short, but I think its powerful without being overbearing. We totally need a president named Jack.

[Laura]

Well, I am sure you know Annslee's naming story...we did luck up that her Chinese name was pretty and easy on the American tongue. Names are difficult. I know what you mean about the SS card...I was thrilled when we got Annslee's ... of course it took second stage to seeing her name on her Cert of Citizenship. : )

I wish the nurse had said.."hey, what about Elliot??"

[Laura]

Oh...and I hit post and realized I can't spell tonight....sorry...I know it is Elliott...

I am teaching 2 yr olds at Vacation Bible School this week so that is my excuse : )

[karianne]

What a great story. My friend is due in Dec. and we all got to vote for our fave name and our worst name. It was a blast. Don't think that I'd ever give that much control to my super-conservative naming circle, but I loved having a say.

Like I said before, my Jackson is now 14 and I named him way back when! I love the name. I'll have to send you a photo.

I'm so happy you are doing so well. Love to you all.

[Jennifer]

Bronwyn just got her SS card today---we are very in synch, here.

[Emily]

I had no idea Jackson was destined for Hong Kong martial arts fame and fortune. I'll be able to say I knew him way back when.

My new neice, who was born just a few days before Jackson, is named Jaklin. They're calling her Jak.

For what it's worth, Elliott was on our list too. And I'm the one who nixed it, much to Dave's dismay.

[Stef]

I wonder how many of us can thank a nurse for our names? My twins were named by our nurse, too. We had to choose eight different names to cover all possible gender combinations, but we had never figured out how to decide which twin would get which name in the case of same gender twins. My husband told the nurse our girl names and she filled out two little cards and stuck one on each bassinet. It never occurred to him to specify which name for which child! We had been home a week before I got around to asking him how he had decided, and he sheepishly admitted he hadn't.

[Christina]

Love that naming story. My nephew is Elliot and I have to resist the urge to use the E.T. voice every time I say his name. ;-) ... I love the name Jack, good choice!

[kris]

LOVE the name! And what a great story to go with it...

[Carrie]

I love your name!

If it makes you feel better, the same thing happened for my second son. And I'm totally e-mailing you his name; it'll crack you up!

[E.]

I think the nurse made a good decision! (for what it's worth). And, sorry, I agree with the whole E.T. thing. I'd have a hard time not doing the voice.

[Shannon]

Laurie at Pho for Four has a Jackson, and Elliot is on her list for their second. I do have a friend who just named her daughter Elliott. I love Jackson Gabriel, it is beautiful. Gabriel has always been one of my favorites. James too but dh says it is too British (he is German). Geesh. I think boy names are harder than girl names. One more reason nurses are great!

[Emma]

This has nothing to do with your latest post - although it was so funny it made me laugh out loud - but last night I had a very vivid dream where my sister and I each got a dog. I was going to name mine Amy, and then I thought of Maggie. Although I was leaning towards Maggie, I forced myself, in my freaking dream, not to, because I read the blog of someone on the Internet named Maggie. And yet I let my sister name hers Max, even though someone in my class is named Max and I certainly wouldn't want to have a dog sharing his name. *shudders*

Apparently you make a huge influence on me.

[Angela]

I love the story, and loved all of the names that you came up with! And you know, I was sitting here going, who would name a girl Elliot?? And then you said Scrubs and I was all, oh, duh...