Earning some wife points

I was the absolute picture of domesticity yesterday after work. My grandmother would be so proud.

First, I went grocery shopping. There aren't any good grocery stores in my neighborhood, so I usually end up buying a few things on my lunch break at the grocery store near my office. But occasionally we'd get really lazy and spend entirely too much at the Fancy Pants Grocery Store a few blocks away from the house. I loved this store. It was so pretty and clean and had a whole section devoted to cookware and tableware and holiday-themed candles and napkins and other stuff that makes my heart go all pitter pat. But for some reason that store went out of business and we were Without once again.

(Oh man, total tangent here: Last night I dreamed I turned in an essay to a professor who marked me off one point for every instance of random capitalization, resulting in a D minus, and I totally lost it because the professor JUST DIDN'T GET MY 'VOICE'! and I think this is some kind of karmic punishment for my snobby snob snob post yesterday. Anyway.)

Okay, so the grocery store. It was empty for a few months and then! The Asian grocery store moved in. It's not as, shall we say, fancy as my old grocery store. There are no cute decorations and definitely no fun tabletop things to splurge on, but there are rows and rows of soy sauce and instant noodles and unidentifiable animal products in jars and we LOVE IT. It's cheap! It's close! It sells Napa cabbage AND Mochi ice cream AND Cheerios! I picked up a few things for dinner and a box of funky Japanese candy for Phillip (attention retailers of the world: I will buy anything packaged in pink and decorated with either Hello Kitty or anime-style panda bears) and went home.

As soon as I'd parked the car and hung my purse on the coat hooks, I marched upstairs and made what I will generously refer to as Lemon Cheesecake Bars for the Easter Vigil reception at my church Saturday night. I say "generously", because I think they're sort of crap. They're made with a box of yellow cake mix, for one thing, and I don't think there was half as much sugar in the cream cheese layer as there should have been, but in my experience, the General Public will eat anything. And I already have a giant tub of Tollhouse cookies sitting in the freezer for the reception as well. As the General Public seems to think those are God's Own Chocolate Chip Cookies, I don't feel like I've fallen down on the job or anything.

And then? I made dinner. Making dinner is sort of a lost art in my house since I've been pregnant and Phillip has acquired his revolting work ethic. (The other night he came home at eight. Last night he went back to work at ten to PUSH A BUTTON. I will never understand these network administrator types and their wittle preshuss servers.) There's been a lot of fast food for dinner and a lot of "I'll just have cereal tonight" and many things made with eggs: scrambled eggs and toast, egg over rice, Asian noodles with an egg mixed in. But last night I made spaghetti carbonara, also made with eggs, but exponentially more delicious.

I Think This Is How My Mom Told Me To Make It Spaghetti Carbonara

• Fry some bacon. My notes say 4 ounces but I usually do twice that much. And I cut it into little pieces before I fry it so I don't have to get my fingers dirty crumbling it up. And I toss in some minced garlic to boot. Oh, and this is supposed to be pancetta, but bacon is just as good.
• Set the oven to its lowest temperature. Stick a bowl and two pasta plates inside to warm up.
• Boil one pound of spaghetti. It boils faster if you watch last night's Daily Show on the TiVo.
• Right before the spaghetti is done (8-10 minutes? Sort of?) get out your warmed bowl and whisk together 2 fresh eggs, 1/2 cup heavy cream and a giant heap of fresh Parmesan. My notes  say 2 ounces of Parmesan, but that's ridiculous. I can't believe I wrote that. You want LOTS and you want it to be freshly grated from the scary side of your cheese grater, not the shredded stuff you buy in the plastic tub at the store. You want better cream too, but I can't figure out where to buy that. They've only got the normal stuff in my store and it is not sufficiently heart-attack worthy in my opinion. But that's all right, it'll work. Season with salt and pepper (more pepper than salt, and fresh cracked black pepper) and mix in the bacon too.*
• Strain the pasta and immediately dump it in the warmed bowl, mix mix mix, and transfer to the two warmed pasta plates. Fast! It won't stay hot for long, unless you are my mother and have quadrupled the recipe and turned yourself into Big Anthony from Strega Nona. Technically this makes enough for four, but it actually makes enough for Phillip and me, plus one helping to take for lunch the next day. We are pigs.
• Yummy. Best eaten while complaining about your coworkers.

Oh, and I made garlic bread too. Phillip was delighted. His wife! Made dinner! That was ready! When he got home! I may have even worn an apron.

But then the baby started moving a lot (hey! he has good taste!) and that always makes me feel queasy (weird, I know) and Phillip valiantly volunteered to clean up while I lounged beached whale-like on the couch yelling at the Amazing Racers. I can't stand that Mirna person. And this is where my grandmother would be all, "Tsk tsk" because a MAN is washing the dishes and then I would have to make it worse and say, "You think that's something? He's going to change DIAPERS, TOO!"

Tonight, of course, I intend to faint dead away on the couch the minute I get home and, when Phillip calls to say he's going to be late and should he pick up McDonald's on the way home, a small touch of hopefulness in his voice that he will not have to pick up McDonald's, I'll say, "Get me a chocolate shake while you're there."

*Yes, there are RAW EGGS in this recipe. QUELLE HORREUR! If you only knew how much raw cookie dough I've eaten while pregnant...

Comments

[Katie Ann]

Well, I just copied your recipe and although I am not feeling particularly giving towards my husband and have recently been eating ham sandwiches and bagels for dinner, I may cook it for The Husband and I tonight. Why? I am supposed to be prepping for that interview.
Then again I may just sit here and play freecell and pretend like I'm studying my interview questions...Yep.

[E.]

That line about your husband going back to work at 10:00 to push a button made me laugh out loud because my husband does THE SAME THING. Honestly, I know the security wouldn't be as good, but it would make so much more sense for his company's server room to actually be in our house.

[Arwen]

That looks a lot like the pasta carbonara that my mom told me how to make! I love that stuff. I always double the bacon and use way more Parmesan than it calls for, too.

Oh, and the eggs totally don't count as raw, because they cook upon contact with the hot pasta.

[Jenny Ryan]

Hey, Maggie!

I just wanted to let you know that I awarded you a "Thinking Blogger" award. You can read about it here:

http://www.jennyryan.com/2007/04/05/thinking-bloggers/

[Colleen Gleason]

By way of Jenny's blog....glad to have found you and your Pasta Carbonara recipe. Sounds fabulous and I will definitely try it.

(Got one for Pasta Bolognese? That's my fave.)

I don't mind the raw eggs--because I usually coddle them first for about 50 seconds in boiling water when I'm making Caesar dressing. I realize that might cause your mother to feel faint, but...hey. Why not?

And as for the raw cookie dough and eating it while pg....yep. I did that. The cylindrical Tollhouse cookie dough from the fridge section at the grocery (not the Fancy one), by the slice. Yum. (I also craved raw potatoes. Go figure.)