The end of the world as I know it, and I feel fine

Have I told you my parents are moving back to the United States this summer? For good? For real? As in, no more free European lodging for Maggie, forever and ever? [Insert moment of silence.] This new development is so for sure that every time I call home my dad only wants to know if I've found him a job yet. Preferably nothing having to do with fifth graders.

I have mixed feelings about this. Well, not really. I am thrilled. Do you know what stateside local one-hour-away parents means? That I can go visit them on a Saturday and not feel like I have to go back first thing on Sunday, because they will still be there on Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday and all the days after that. WILD! I won't be performing logistics and transportation miracles in order to get everyone in the same place, although I have to admit I haven't done much of that since my siblings acquired their own vehicles. I can be a little more demanding about making them drive up to visit me. I can call my mom at night after dinner like normal people do. I can see them at Thanksgiving and Christmas. I won't have to get over jet lag before I can go out to dinner with them. The benefits are blinding!

Here is a short history of places I've lived:

Place One: Suburbia, United States. Half hour from Grandma's cookie dough. Heaven on earth.

Place Two: Say goodbye to Grandma and suffer through The Flight With Four Layovers Plus You're Still Allowed To Smoke On Airplanes all the way to Tiny Air Base in Sicily where you are shocked- shocked!- to discover your parents have absolutely no intention of going home for Thanksgiving or Christmas or Easter AND they expect you to welcome strange people into your house for holiday dinners.  You can't eat turkey dinner with people who aren't RELATED TO YOU- what are my parents THINKING?!

Place Three: Volcanic Rock In The Middle Of The Ocean. Even more remote than the Tiny Air Base in Sicily, but with cute boys and more privileges and free space-available flights to visit old friends in Spain for holidays. Christmas isn't even spent at home, much less with people who saw me have my diapers changed.

Place Four: Back To Italy, Only Much Farther North. Miserable year of dads flying off to bomb Bosnia while their kids smoke pot and get kicked off base, meaning I spend my sophomore year of high school hiding under my covers and plotting early graduation. Holiday dinners eaten with new honorary family members, which is totally normal now that no one remembers what Grandma's house looks like at Christmastime.

Place Five: Seattle, Oh Glorious Loveliest Place To Be From. I moved here when I was 18. I've lived half a world away from my parents for nearly TEN YEARS people. By now I am very much used to Christmas with Grandma sans parents. Having them move back here, LIVING here, is going to seriously mess with the World As I Know It. What happens when I am seriously craving a cappuccino and have $1000 to burn? I'LL HAVE NOWHERE TO GO. How am I supposed to enjoy my European jaunts when I'm required to PAY for LODGING? Besides, do my parents realize that Starbucks is not exactly the same as the Bar Centrale down the street? That they can go grocery shopping in the middle of the night? That bribes are not required to purchase a home? That Americans use dishwashers and never think to take the train and actually return to Olive Garden multiple times? I am WORRIED ABOUT THEM.

It's not like having your parents live far away is weird or anything. Plenty of my friends live far from their folks. BUT MINE ARE COMING BACK. Me, my mom and my grandma will live in the same country for the first time since... the summer of 1989. Do you know what was still around in 1989? THE FREAKING BERLIN WALL.

Baby Cheung, however, is all, "EXCELLENT. LET THE SPOILING BEGIN!"

Comments

[Maureen]

As awesome as it will be to have family close by - that is the reason The Husband and I moved back to MA from our idyllic town in NJ (Shut up! It was a really really nice town! Granted, we could never ever have afforded to buy a house there.) - I am forced to tell you that you will still definitely need to perform logistics miracles in order to get everyone in the same place at once.

[Christina/Mrs Broccoli Guy]

Oh the benefits of nearby grandparents will definitely outweigh the free european lodging (y'know, if the parents don't drive you bonkers, as my mom can from time to time...)

[Katie Ann]

I can hear Baby squeeling with delight :)