More TV! Syndicate me already!

Do you all get Newsweek like me? And let it sit around on your coffee table until you get really bored and flip through looking for the page with the funny quotes? Well I actually read my Newsweek yesterday because this was on the cover: WHY TV IS BETTER THAN THE MOVIES. Since the only worthwhile movie I have seen in the last, oh, YEAR was 'The Departed' and since I spend every single evening entranced in front of my television, I am inclined to agree. (Although I hadn't seen half the shows Newsweek was fawning over. Not everyone gets HBO and Showtime, Newsweek! I have enough to manage with regular old cable.)

Anyway, this article, combined with the fact that Phillip couldn't wait for TiVo to record Lost last night so we had to watch it in real time, with commercials and everything, has inspired me to wax rhapsodic over my TV viewing schedule yet again. So if you haven't caught up on your TV this week, shoo!

I'm waiting!

Still waiting!

Ready?

Okay, so Lost? Meh. Again! After last week's way cool Desmond-centric spawned-a-thousand-more-theories episode, we get an entire hour about how Jack got his tattoo. We, the viewers, are subjected to sixty painful minutes of whining and posturing and Long Meaningful Glances and oh my heavens, freaking ninety-pound BAI LING. I will save you all the trouble and tell you that Jack got that tattoo sometime before he crashed on the island, to commemorate the time when he was a famous TV star on a goofy show called Party of Five. What does freaking Bai Ling and her stupid gift have to do with anything? I want to know what the numbers mean and where they came from. I want to know what's so special about Claire's baby. I want to know how Locke lost the use of his legs. I want to watch a spin off called the Sun & Jin Show. I want to watch Rousseau reunite with Alex. I want to know what the Others are really doing there and how Penny is going to save them all. WHO CARES ABOUT JACK'S STUPID TATTOO?

Oh. And Sawyer and Kate can bite me. Can we just please fast forward to the episode where they kill off Charlie?

A more fun (and less frustrating) show with a lot of secrets is Heroes. It took us a while to start watching this one, even though we'd been recording the show since it started. So sometime around Christmas we sat down and watched them all back to back. It has its share of annoying and frustrating characters (Niki/Jessica, Matt Parkman and the insipid bangs-of-angst Peter who will never be Peter, but Jess) but then it has Hiro! Who is the best Hero of them all. He's been locked up in some pretty boring storylines, but I think that's because the writers are trying to make the rest of the heroes as interesting and fun and exciting as Hiro, so he has to sit and wait for them to join him in the awesome. Did he really send Ando home? Nooo! Is Sylar going to kill Mohinder? Because I totally wouldn't mind. We've got Claire's daddy as the link between the heroes and he doesn't have that hypnotizing accent. Also, "someone flies and someone dies"? Who cares about the Peter-Simone-Issac thing? Give me more Hiro! 

However! The TV stars finally aligned themselves for the most recent episode of Gilmore Girls, the talky show the nerdy girls love and their boyfriends cannot bear. Lorelai finally booted Christopher out of the Gilmore universe (okay, maybe "softly punted with many choking sobs" is a better description, but those are just details) and Gilmore fans everywhere rejoiced. I know some people liked Christopher and all (and why is he never 'Chris'?) but MAN was he a big whiny baby. And Lorelai was a dumbed-down 100% less snarky version of herself when she was with him. Now's your moment, Luke! But the best part was Emily all lit up on scotch telling Lorelai why she doesn't need a husband. Is there anything better than a drunk Emily? Maybe Paris and Doyle doing partner yoga. Rory is conspicuously absent from this little review, as I can't decide where I stand with Logan. Is he a pouty snotty rich boy? Or super cute lickable boyfriend? I was hoping they brought Marty back for a reason, but it's not looking that way. But, you know, I'm just a sucker for the nerdy boys.

Unless the nerdy boy's name is Dwight K. Schrute, in which case I am watching from behind my hands. He used to hunt WEREWOLVES? I think the problem with The Office (because I have to find a problem with everything) is that you can't figure out why people are still working for Michael Scott. It takes me forEVER to quit a job but there is no way I would be sticking around that office. I mean, the debacle at Phyllis' wedding? For shame! But I think the writers know this, so they invent these random little ways of sucking out your sympathy for Michael Scott. So when he gushes all over one of Pam's "hotel drawings" and frames it and hangs it in the office, you can't help but think, "There! That is why Pam hasn't brought a shot gun to work!" I love that Ryan's 'punishment' was having to sit in the back with Kelly. Hee. (And I'm totally bummed that I missed Mindy Kaling on one of the late night talk shows a while back.) Anyway. I'm ready for another good Dwight prank, something along the lines of the cell phone hiding amongst the ceiling tiles or the fax from the future. Also: where is Jan?!

I am now hooked on Ugly Betty- damn you all and your excellent TV recommendations. Is there any unlikeable character on that show? I even love Wilhelmina! I felt sorry for Alexis! I want to go to a spa and drink martinis with Daniel's mom! And I still can't get over the fact that Betty's dad is Manny Calaveras. That, I think, is the coolest thing ever.

I haven't seen the last couple episodes of 24 because I'm really tired of watching Jack torture people.

The Amazing Race All Stars kicked off last week and I hate to say it, but I'm rooting for Rob and Amba. They play the GAME. I didn't see the first five or six seasons of this show so I don't know a lot of the racers, but I know enough to know who to root for. (And who to boo: Eric and Danielle? Gross!) I hate the whole alliance thing and any time one team helps another without regard for their own standing in the race (like the Korean boys from last season, what a pair of idiots) so I am all about the beauty queens and Rob and Amba. Even Mary, the coalminer's wife, was all, "Yeah, we're over that whole alliance thing! Look out Rob and Amba!" Except we all know Rob and Amba will eat the Kentucky team for lunch.

I am ashamed to say I am still recording The Apprentice. What in the world compels me to keep watching this dreck?

Is anyone starting to wonder how much murder and mayhem a little California beach town can take? Sherriff Lamb is no more on Veronica Mars and my heart broke into a million tiny pieces. No more Sherriff Lamb! Who is Veronica going to pick on now? Who is going to arrest Weevil? Who are we going to laugh at in this bleak noir universe? I am really bummed. They had to kill Sherriff Lamb? Dude, they could have killed off Wallace- with all the screen time he's getting this season, no one would have noticed. Sigh. Let us share a moment of silence.

Okay. Now what is up with Logan and PARKER? I don't think so. While I applaud the exit of mopey emo-Logan, I will not stand for canoodling with Veronica's friends. (What did you think of the episode where Logan has to babysit the 11-year-old? At first I was offended by the contrivance but that kid won me over. The elevator scene? Priceless!) Also, Landry did not kill the Dean, but I'm not one for figuring out the mysteries ahead of time (or ever, sometimes I am very confused) so I'll let that one go. Mac and Bronson? Squee! Keith back as Sherriff? Awesome! (Although they could have kept Lamb. They could have! Wah!) And I am loving all the Cliff lately. More Cliff!

Okay those are my favorites. I will not embarrass myself further by listing all the other shows I've got on TiVo. Which would be really embarrassing.

Know what else is embarrassing? I am going to a yoga class tonight. Me. Yoga. It's happened before, but I don't know that it should happen again. But I have a friend and we are going to DO IT. Pregnancy yoga! It'll be good for us! At the very least we can make fun of it afterwards. Right?

Comments

[Laura]

Hey..I DVR the Office and Rules of Engagement may be my new favorite..Two and a Half Men is still up there! However, if you came to my house, looked at my DVR recordings you would see...Backyardigans, Barney and Sesame Street..yep, I have to record my shows, watch them and delete b/c Annslee's recordings are taking up all the space!!! Can't wait to see your TiVo list in a couple of years : )

[Jenn]

We are the only people on Earth and possibly in the universe without DVR. Really! The only one of those shows I watch is The Amazing Race and I missed it the other night. I actually considered not watching at all this season, but I love Rob and Amber and the Beauty Queens (who I still can't tell apart, I'm pretty sure) so I will probably get sucked in. Mirna alone was enough to make me not want to watch this season.

Yoga is one of those things that I feel like I should like, but how can you be zen and centered while you are trying with every ounce of your being to not plow your face into the floor? I have the worst balance EVER.

[Christina/Mrs Broccoli Guy]

I love your TV blog posts. :-) K and I are still on season 2 of Gilmore Girls - we saw an episode from 2005 last week and it totally weirded me out! I like Rory in high school and Lorelei doing her friendly flirt with Luke - I'll be sad to see that change. (and as of season 2, I'd love to see Lorelei with Christopher, but apparently that will change at some point?!)

[Catherine]

Gah! Accidental Heroes spoilerage reading! Brain exploding now!

Stupid syndication here means Slowness, and even with kind gift of US versions from friends I'm behind by Just. A. Few. Episodes.

Sadness is me. And this comment is way less valuable than usual, but it's, like, nearly 5am here, so I'm using that as an excuse.

Also: Hiro is totally the coolest.

Catherine
Who should have known better than to read here while trying to avoid television spoilers ;-P

[Kate P]

VM was weird! I don't know which grossed me out more--Lamb's demise or Logan & Parker. Ew. And yes I did enjoy the little girl hanging out with Logan last week. I read somewhere it was the girl who often played "God" on "Joan of Arcadia." Fun.

BTW Jenn--I don't even have digital cable. DVR? Hah!