Puppy dog tails

You guys, I am sick. Gross wake-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night-hacking-up-a-lung sick. I have to say, though, I prefer it to the hacking-up-the-contents-of-my-stomach sick. I've been free of nausea for the last few days and I attribute it to the half a Unisom pill I take before I go to bed to help me sleep. I know Unisom is occasionally prescribed for morning sickness (along with vitamin B6, is that right?) so it's possible. And anyone who wants to berate me for drugging myself to sleep can write to me at idontgivearatsass@mightymaggie.com. I'll be answering those emails while I guzzle down my two liter Costco bottle of Yellow Tail shiraz.

Anyway. I just had to get that out of my system (just call it verbal phlegm) before I tell you about the ultrasound on Friday, where we found out we are having a boy.

BOY.

As in, cars and trucks and dirt and holey overalls and Transformers and absolutely no pink anywhere and possibly needing these things. As in, I need to clear out all of my girly stuff from the little yellow bedroom before the Little Dude arrives, because really? Would YOU have your brand new baby boy share a room with five feather boas, three dolls, a doorknob full of tacky sequinned purses, butterfly curtains and your Hawaii Hello Kitty? No? And that "gendering your child" thing made sense to me in college, but I am not like that anymore, people. That cute little pink angel I have dangling from the ceiling is coming down.

I didn't have any idea one way or the other. If I'd had to guess, I would have picked boy, simply because neither of our families seem to know how to make girls. I sort of hoped for a boy, because a boy would mean the rest of my kids would have a big brother and I always wanted a big brother, but also because I am the Oldest and a Girl and I felt like the potential for screwing up my kid would escalate exponentially if I had my own Oldest Girl. (Yes, I know that makes no sense, and blah blah Maggie you are ker-azy, but I'm entitled to my irrational reasoning, no?) Then again, it's true that baby girl clothes are way cuter than baby boy clothes, and I think our families were hoping for a girl.

But it's a boy, and I could tell even before the tech asked us if we wanted to know. And to be honest, the only disappointment I felt was about not being able to use the girl's name we had picked out, and how I was now resigned to months of arguing with Phillip over the relative merits of naming one's child Stu or Gordo or Assorted Creepy Names Of Dirty Men Who Hang Out In Sketchy Casinos.

So all weekend I was thinking about BOY. I hadn't thought much about setting up the baby room, just because it's still kind of early and we're busy and have you seen how much all that baby stuff costs? But now all I can think about is how I have to get rid of my beloved butterfly curtains and move Hello Kitty into my bedroom because I can't put my boy in that frilly girly room! I don't know. What do normal people think about when they find out boy or girl?

We are so excited. We have the awesomest cutest nephews in the world and now we're all, "We're going to have our OWN." And if my nephews are anything to go by, I need to be reading up on dinosaurs and airplanes and bulldozers.

And oh yeah- the baby looks fine. Ten fingers, ten toes, adorable profile, and apparently his mother's irritation with being told what to do, as he refused to flip around and provide accurate measurements, even after the tech repeatedly jabbed me in the abdomen with her small blunt instrument. But I really wasn't big on the ultrasound thing. I know I'm in the minority, but it kind of creeped me out. I saw my baby's spine. I saw his brain. I saw his beating heart at 2000% of the actual size. I don't know. I'm just one of those people who prefers to think there's nothing inside our bodies except fluff and cotton candy-like stuffing. For example, I would never pay money to see this, no matter how many freaky disturbed people continue to tell me it's the most amazing thing they've ever seen.  Anyway, if there was anything to worry about, I'm not sure the tech would have told me. We'll see the doctor in another two weeks and I suppose she'll let us know, although I'm not sure they were looking for anything as we specifically said "Meh" to the whole testing thing. (Can you tell I haven't read a pregnancy book since month two? Obviously I am incredibly educated about this whole process.)

My biggest priority this weekend was to replace the butterfly curtains, but I was prevented from doing so by 1. The fact that I haven't done ANY Christmas shopping, 2. The fact that the Pharmacist was coming up to help me make truffles, because apparently I lost my mind last week and decided to MAKE TRUFFLES and 3. The fact that I have not picked up my house since the weather turned frightful and I started coping by rocking back and forth on the couch in front of Scrubs reruns. Just so you know, I accomplished about half the Christmas shopping, I formed, dipped and rolled in cocoa about six dozen truffles (thank you Pharmacist!) and I turned on the dishwasher. Phillip did everything else. You can send flowers and notes of thanks to sorryyouhavethelaziestwifeonearth@mightymaggie.com.

(Although I think we should wait on those flowers until he actually gets mightymaggie.com, two years in the making, to go live, and until after he fixes the upstairs computer that suffered a stroke of sorts after the Oh Holy God The World Must Be Ending Storm of 2006. Perhaps you heard? My boss hasn't had power for five days. FIVE DAYS WITHOUT TIVO. Let us all give thanks that human beings can survive such hellish times.)

Comments

[Arwen]

I fearlessly took an entire Unisom every night, plus another half in the morning, for almost my entire pregnancy. (With B6, the regimen cut my nausea in half.) Although I did not publish that fact on the Internet. (Uh, until now.) And yes, I was doing it for the nausea instead of to help me sleep, but the happiness of the side-effect of good sleep did not escape me.

As soon as I saw the title of this post I knew you were having a boy. As the oldest girl who is the daughter of an oldest girl, I can understand your paranoia about having an oldest girl, and I'm praying hard that I won't screw up my own oldest girl. So on that count, yay! that you're having a boy. But I was kind of hoping you would have a girl like me - it seems like all the Internets are having boys. Maureen and Emily both had boys when I had a girl, and now you are having a boy, so all I can say is that Jennifer had better have a girl. Seriously.

I am super-proud of the fact that we had nearly all our Christmas shopping done a week ago. We accomplished this by ordering everything online, because there is no way I am taking my liable-to-freak-out-at-any-time baby to the mall. The thought of it makes me shiver with horror. Plus, she hates the car now, and I could not listen to her scream the entire way there.

Little boys are very cute. And there are lots of good boy names, although I personally never managed to decide on one. What about Moses? Moses Cheung has a certain ring to it. ;)

What is it about your posts that makes me want to write novels in the comments section?

[the Pharmacist]

So the truffles came out ok? Once people bite into them, they won't care what they look like!

Maybe you could find someway to turn the butterfly curtains into teradactyls or transformers. I'll keep my eye out for appliques and warm up my glue gun. :)

Time to combat my healthy lunch with one of many delectable taste treats our patients have brought in for us. Can you say fudge, russian tea cakes, divinity, AND candy cane cookies! Oh my!

[Todd]

Hi Maggie,
This is Todd from the SHIP house. I found you site a while back from lee's.
Conratulations on having a boy. My wife and I had a girl about 2 months ago. You should be happy they allow you to take any kind of medication. Here, in Japan, they won't give you any kind of medicine for anything when you are pregnant (including for pain during labor).
Boys names are hard. We had a really good boys name, Santiago. If we eventually have a boy, that will probably be his name.
Enjoy your morning sickness. You should get a reprieve from it in a few weeks.
Again, congratulations.

[Maureen]

What is this about Unisom? Why did no one tell me about Unisom when I was nauseous? No fair!

At any rate, congratulations, Maggie! Boys are good. Mine is crying right now, however, for reasons we cannot determine, and that is unusual for him.

And thank God for online shopping is all I can say.

[Nicole]

Found your site awhile back and couldn't resist commenting on the tee pee. I have never seen anything like that and now that it is on my radar...well a certain friend of mine might be pleasantly surprised.

Oh and I definitely think that boy clothes are absolutely adorable! Especially corduroy pants and overalls.

[Christina/Mrs Broccoli Guy]

I'm also suffering Day Five of No Tivo. Sigh. Power is such a lovely thing and I miss it. Yeah, we're in the outerlands and shant see power for DAYS.

Enough about me... Congrats on the BOY!! I LOVE boys. Have two of each and lemme tell you, boys are waaaaaaaay easier. And super cuddly too!! And boy clothes are getting cuter all the time - Costco has some really adorable stuff and not too pricey either. So excited for you!!

[orangepaas]

eeee! a boy!

and seeing the spine and brain always creeped me out too. this coming from a neuroscientist.