And purple and white and pink and orange and blue!

Yesterday while Phillip was out with some friends and I was home nursing a headache and nausea brought on by a half-hour ride on the freeway, I wrapped the little pile of presents that's been steadily growing over the last week. I actually meant to bake cookies. I made some chocolate chip on Saturday to bring to friends with a new baby and was so impressed with my newfound stamina I resolved to make more on Sunday. But after staring at my pantry for ten minutes, I realized that butter, sugar and flour make a sorry cookie: there were no nuts, no baking chocolate, no sprinkles, no cream cheese, no powdered sugar for icing, nothing to make a Christmas cookie. And I wasn't about to trek to the grocery store. I don't have that kind of stamina yet.

So I put on my new Wicked cd and sat down to wrap. I'd been pestering Phillip to download the soundtrack from iTunes (are you all mourning the loss of allofmp3 like we are? Weep) and finally I went down to his little cave office to do it myself. And right before I clicked 'BUY ALBUM', he smacked my hand away with the actual cd, grumping, "Way to ruin your stocking stuffer."

Anyway, now I like Wicked more, and I would like to see it again, please. I caught all sorts of things in the lyrics that I didn't catch during the actual show ("so happy I could melt!" HA!) and now I could be one of those annoying people who sits in the stalls and sings along under her breath. I didn't want to read about the show or listen to the music before I went, but now I wonder if that would have just enhanced everything. Like, if I knew nothing about Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, I would probably not be terribly interested, especially now that I know it is not cool to like Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals. But when I was in high school and fresh off a musicals-in-London kick, I bought the Joseph soundtrack, just because I knew I liked Andrew Lloyd Webber. And people, I can sing that entire play. I know all of the songs. I know all of the Narrator's lines. I know all the colors in Joseph's coat. And I have never ever seen the play. It was in Seattle for all of five days last year and I am KICKING MYSELF for not being on top of things and buying myself a front row seat.

So yes. While Phillip was out I produced a dozen poorly wrapped Christmas presents and learned all the words to 'Popular'.

Then I fell asleep. I swear, this whole chirpy "You should be feeling better now!" second trimester crap is a pack of lies. LIES I tell you. I feel sort of guilty, because I got away with normalcy for seventeen weeks, and even now I'm not really sick, but STILL. More annoying than that, I keep waiting for the oft-mentioned second trimester burst of energy, but I think I'm even more tired than I was before. Not the bone-aching too-tired-to-walk-down-the-stairs tired I felt in the first couple of weeks, but the kind of tired where I cannot make myself get up and make dinner, even if "dinner" is actually macaroni and cheese or heating up leftover pizza.

This morning I got my weekly pregnancy update email telling me my baby is now the size of a sweet potato. It appears we have graduated from fruit (grapes, kiwis, oranges) to vegetables (last week my baby was the size of an avocado.) This is actually the only pregnancy information I'm consuming these days. After a couple weeks reading the initial onslaught of pregnancy books (none of which I purchased, all of which were dumped on me by friends, family and my OB-GYN resident neighbor), they are now all resting comfortably under my bed where they shall not see the light of day until this baby is born. I'm just not interested anymore, isn't that terrible? I'm firmly in the Ignorance Is Bliss camp, the group that reminds itself that cave women had babies without the benefit of pregnancy books and message boards and Google and somehow the race has managed to survive. Not that I'm advocating not being Informed. Hardly! I'm just... overdosed on it, I guess. I read so much about being pregnant before I got pregnant that now I just want to sit around and eat bon bons and watch myself grow as big as the house. And maybe eat a piece of salmon at the fancy shmantzy holiday party.  Harrumph. I had a doctor appointment on Friday and when she asked if I had questions, I looked at my big list of of Ugly Wish-I-Didn't-Have-To-Think-About-These-Things Questions and said, "Nope! I'm not ready!" and skipped out. The books make me worry about things I probably don't need to worry about. The message boards make me think I should have written up my birth plan yesterday. I've allowed myself to Google a traumatizing symptom or two, but I've been lucky enough to have an appointment scheduled whenever I have something that freaks me out. So... yeah. Irresponsible? Maybe. Good for my mental health? Most definitely.

As much as the Internet and the books and the pregnancy message boards have tried to make me care, I honestly don't care how this baby gets here (or what kind of baby it will be), as long as both of us make it out relatively unscathed. From everything I've heard, almost nothing goes the way you want it to go anyway, so I'm not going to spend a lot of time harping on the details. I intend to make my doctor, who, so far, I really like and trust, aware of the things that freak me out and we'll go from there.

Oh dear God I have made my own eyes cross. I certainly did not intend to go in that direction. But that's what happens when your trusty blogger is tired, annoyed at the gray rainy weather, wishing she had a cookie jar on her desk, wearing uncomfortable pants, simultaneously listening to the Cure and belting out 'Defying Gravity' in her head, worrying about the four pounds she gained since Saturday and possibly feeling a sweet potato-sized baby rumbling around in her abdomen. Till tomorrow!

Comments

[baggage]

There are a lot of little things in Wicked like that..like in "The Wizard and I" where she says that they'll be a celebration all through Oz that is all to do with her.

Poor Elphie.

[Maureen]

First of all, I am now going to be stuck singing Joseph songs ALL DAY. Thank YOU very much. I like Joseph, but the songs do have a tendency to stick.

Second of all, I had to stop reading pregnancy stuff in my second trimester because they all said, "By now, you should be feeling great!" and I would say, "[expletive] YOU, PREGNANCY NEWSLETTER!" or I would throw the book across the room. (I can't type the actual word I said because my mom may still be reading your blog.) Because I did not feel better. I pretty much stopped reading them at that point. One time I felt a pain, so I looked it up, but otherwise, I didn't much care what the flipping books said.

So, I hear ya, sister. Screw the books. The baby is going to come whether you read them or not, you know? And you probably alreay know all the stuff you're supposed to avoid (e.g., lying on your back), so you're fine. You're good.

Baby is crying. Must go.

[Jenny Ryan]

It's not cool to like Andrew Lloyd Weber? When did that happen? I LOVE Jesus Christ, Superstar!

[Arwen]

Oh oh oh! I also have the soundtrack to Joseph memorized. When you said you can sing the whole thing, it immediately started running through my head: "Some folks dream of the wonders they'll do..." Anyway, I've seen it a couple of times (once was just a high school production, one a professional company) and I have to tell you, I'd actually rather just listen to the soundtrack. The play is kind of boring.

I too waited for that second-trimester energy burst, and it never came. I was still tired. And just kept on being tired until I gave birth, despite being able to sleep as much as I wanted. (Ahhh, if only I could do that now.) Ironically, even with infant-induced sleep deprivation and not having slept more than two hours in a row in two months, I still have more energy now than I did when I was pregnant. Go figure.

And I also (do we have a lot in common today or what?) read nothing about pregnancy and birth while I was pregnant. But I had read so much before getting pregnant (mostly on blogs, actually) that I already knew nearly everything I needed to know. We took a birthing class and the part on breathing techniques was the only thing that was new to me. If I'd read a bunch of pregnancy/birth books, I probably would have just worried about cord accidents or something.

Love to you and your sweet potato!

(Holy long comment, Batman. I should get my own blog. Oh, wait...)

[Angela]

I feel a really personal pride in your love for Wicked... I know, tres stupid, but I just think of you as my little convert!

Also... Dancing Through Life and that one special little lyric in As Long as You're Mine? When you realize Fiyero's fate? Good stuff yes. All kinds of cute inside jokes/references.

I heart Wicked!

[Jennifer]

Those books stink. The only ones I like are the humorous ones like The Girlfriend's Guide. They seem to be able to put things in perspective much better.

Okay soundtracks (I haven't seen Wicked yet, I'm way behind on my shows) but you HAVE to listen to

BAT BOY: THE MUSICAL (yes the Bat Boy of World News Report fame).

It was off-broadway and should have stayed longer than it did but left, not becuase of popularity, but because of "Creative Differences" on the artistic team.

You will love it!