The least that you can do for me is keep it to yourself

It is a bright sunny morning here in my beloved city (as sunny as you're going to get in late October, shut up) and I listened to Fountains of Wayne's song 'Maureen' about 400 times on my way in (I LOVE THAT SONG) wondering if Maureen had had her baby yet, and she DID! Whee!

It is a week until Halloween and I still don't have a costume yet.

I also haven't carved my pumpkin. (I thought I did. Last night I dreamed I carved my pumpkin in a classroom with Logan Echolls while my husband took the bar exam in the next room. It was almost dream-cheating.) I did, however, hang the pumpkin-and-witches garland my mother sent me, and the bizarro string of witch faces made out of straw? cornsilk? raffia? weeds? outside my front door, even though we had all of one trick or treater last year and won't even be home to answer the door this year. This is the one thing that interests me about the suburbs: trick or treaters. We might actually have some!

Out of all the shows on my TiVo at 10pm last night I chose to watch Friday Night Lights. I chose football over Veronica Mars, people. The end of the world is nigh! But you guys, this show kills me. First I read the book. Then I saw the movie. And as you know, I am a sucker for anything about team sports, but every frame of this show is amazing. It's beautiful, for one thing, art directed like a movie. Everything is so believable that when the coach goes to wake up the team at 3 in the morning for some sprints in the rain in a rapidly filling stream bed because those boys need some butt kicking, you don't think, "My God this is so cheesy," no no no, you BAWL. And the only character I want to stab is the former star quarterback's girlfriend, but ever since she screwed up and kissed the star quarterback's best friend, she's suddenly less irritable. Are you not watching this show? Repent! And make sure to watch it next week, the better to keep the evil network executives from pulling it off the air and ruining my entire television season. Do you want me to be unhappy with TV? DO YOU?

Although if I watched less TV it might significantly reduce the number of television characters who appear in my dreams. Hmm.

Oh, but before I switched on the TV, I voted. (Also, I made dinner. Sort of. Phillip broiled the steaks, I mashed the potatoes. I haven't eaten mashed potatoes in eons. I want to be buried in mashed potatoes.) Last week I spent an hour or two with my voter's pamphlet, because I am a Good and Solid Citizen, and circled my choices in preparation for the main event. So when my ballot showed up a day or two ago, I was ready. Except I was going through my pamphlet again and I couldn't remember why I voted the way I did. "Phillip?" I kept asking. "Why did I vote Republican here and Democrat there? Does voting for Proposition 1 mean I am pro-freedom of speech or pro-strip club? How come they aren't taxing car owners to pay for the bridge, they're only taxing property owners? Does that make ANY SENSE AT ALL?" He tuned me out after a while. Actually, I was pretty disappointed because it turned out that I didn't get to vote on any of the Hotly Contested Races that keep interrupting my television viewing with Greatly Annoying political ads. I mean, if I have to watch them, I'd at least like to act on them, you know? But apparently I don't live in the 8th district. I live in District 7, home of Congressman Krazy. Although I did get to vote for senator, and my vote was based strictly on whose ad I found least irritating. (Dwight K. Schrute: "Good and Solid Citizen my ass.")

Looking for a baby update? I'll be twelve weeks on Friday, hereby beginning the "Holy cats, [insert timeframe] already!" because it seems not too long ago I was hovering around seven weeks and wondering how I was going to endure the trepidation of the first trimester. Now I have, like, what? A week and a half? And I have yet to buy this baby ANYTHING. Poor baby. I haven't even thought about where to put him. Oh, we have an extra bedroom, but that's where my computer and the futon live and I haven't quite decided if I can do without these things. Maybe we'll put the baby in the sock drawer. Besides, there is still no proof the baby is even THERE. Okay, well, there was the heartbeat, and I suppose my doctor didn't just make that up or anything. And there is my horrific weight gain, but that can definitely be attributed to Red Robin french fries and Ben and Jerry's chocolate fudge brownie ice cream. (MMM ICE CREAM FOR LUNCH?) My clothes still fit, I've had exactly four separate days of feeling sick, I'm not even that tired anymore. At the wedding this weekend my cousins rolled their eyes at me and said, "Oh, just wait a few more weeks. THEN you'll know there's a baby in there."

Before the wedding started Phillip leaned over the pew and asked my cousin with the newest baby what it was like "having one of these things." And my cousin said, "Do you have a life? Because if you don't have a life, it's not a problem."

Anyway, I have things to do. Like I sit around typing on my website all day. Ha! So I leave you with this gem of a video (YouTube! How I love you!) that I have watched about fourteen times and still don't understand. But it is set to FOW's 'Maureen' so at least you can hear the song. And have you congratulated her yet? Shoo!

Comments

[Arwen]

You haven't bought anything for the baby yet? Heck, my child is eleven days old and the only things I've personally bought are two diaper bags (one for me and a diaper backpack for Bryan) and an Ergo baby carrier. Everything else, other people have bought for us. And our nursery? Is currently a completely empty room (albeit with beautifully painted walls). So if you find yourself feeling anxious about being unprepared, just think "Anyway, I am far better off than Arwen!"

Congratulations on being almost in the second trimester! One-third of the way through your pregnancy - you'll be holding a newborn before you know it. (Not to, like, scare you or anything.)

[Maureen]

I didn't feel pregnant until, oh, around 6 months or something. I just felt sick. I know you're not feeling sick, which is excellent, but it's pretty normal not to believe there is a person in there. Because it's very very weird that there is a person in there, and it doesn't get any less weird. I still can't believe there was a person in me, and the evidence is currently slurping away on a pacifier in the bassinet in front of me.

I will stop now as I am rambling. But it's nice to be able to check up on my online people!