Some things that work, in lazy list form

Well, first of all, some things that don't work:

• Driving home after work and sitting alone in your living room in the dark, because for some reason God thought it was okay to make dark start at 5 pm in October.
• Leaving the phone plugged in after 9, because well-meaning friends will call to see how you're doing at 10:30 and wake you up from your half-asleep state, thereby ensuring you will not go back to sleep until 2 or 3 or worse.
  
• Thinking. Any kind of thinking is bad.
• Those relaxation CDs. God I hate those things. First of all, they expect you to have the attention span of a normal adult (YEAH RIGHT) and the narrator sounds like a serial killer. THAT'S relaxing.

Things that work:

• After a horrible night, taking the morning off work and going for a crisp fall walk through the leaves with your friends, their new baby, and all of the baby's grandparents, because your friends love your krazy self and allow you to be an honorary member of their family.
• Back rubs.
• Copious amounts of wine. (JUST KIDDING. Now that I'm pregnant I've TOTALLY cut back to one bottle a night.)
• This book. Seriously. I cannot recommend this book enough.
• Sucking it up and seeing a Professional, who will help you sort out the scary swirly thoughts into What Things Should Be Thought About, What Things Are Silly and What Things Are Totally Okay, Dear God, Calm Down Already. Normally you can handle sorting these things yourself, but under the influence of the Anxiety Monster, you can't tell up from down.
• Dealing with people at Kinko's. After an hour or two at Kinko's you start to feel like it is better to have anxiety than an IQ equaling your shoe size.
• This verse: "The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."
• Inviting friends over. Going out to dinner. Late Night with Conan O'Brien. Anything that prevents sitting alone in the dark with your scary swirly thoughts.

Here are some things that are not about anxiety:

• I lost two pounds. Well, maybe this is partly because of anxiety, since anxiety makes me lose my appetite, but whatever, two pounds! There was much rejoicing in the bathroom this morning. This means I have only gained FOUR pounds in ten weeks instead of SIX, even though my doctor thinks I have gained 300 because doctor office scales are from the devil. (And I swear, I was never so concerned about my weight until I decided to lose some. Now? I am an Eagle-Eyed Scale Watcher of a most dreadful degree. Gah.)
• I am going to my cousin's wedding this weekend. My sisters are the bridesmaids. My other cousins are the band. I get to read "whatever the priest says you should read". My aunt made the dress and the food. It will be a little mini family reunion and should be super fun.
• Yesterday I kind of sort of told off this annoying guy I kind of sort of work for and holy cats it felt AMAZING. Especially when my bosses wanted to hear what happened and then totally justified everything I said. That felt extra amazing.
• I did not watch Veronica Mars or Gilmore Girls last night because I was watching my TiVo'd Monday night shows, my favorite of which is Studio 60. I continue to watch this show, even though the chip on Aaron Sorkin's shoulder is painfully transparent and he keeps trying to make me feel like I'm not good enough to watch his TV show, I mean, masterpiece. But whatever. Chandler! Josh Lyman! Squee!
• My husband has started his very own fad, involving remote control airplanes. After several visits to Toys R Us in which we came home empty-handed, he arrived home one day with FOUR airplanes. All his little friends have now formed a "Flight Club" (HA HA HA) and go out to fly their little styrofoam planes, even though they all use the same frequency and can't fly at the same time. The new baby's grandfather had to get himself a plane too, prompting his wife to lean over to me and say, "A good man always has a little bit of boy left in him."
• We are going to a Vietnamese restaurant tonight (the best Vietnamese restaurant in Seattle, we are told) and while we are there I shall say a little prayer that Vietnam hurries up and issues Christina's travel approval, stat!

That is all. Be thankful I did not post yesterday in my OHMYGODTHESKYISFALLING state. Today? Much much better.

Comments

[kelli]

Psalm 116:7: Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.

i copied this one down again for myself yesterday, and it now lives on a bright pink piece of note paper underneath my keyboard at work, for easy access when it's needed. isn't God good to give us verses like this and yours to help a bit on anxious days??

you and your tv-loving posts rock. i really enjoy good tv and love reading your reviews! i have yet to be home on a monday night to catch studio 60 (alas, no tivo), but a friend who tivo's "heroes" hosted a catch-up-on-episodes-1-thru-3-before-episode-4 party this week... while we all ate hero sandwiches! have you seen this show? the jury's still out for me...

[Jen-Again]

Glad to hear that things are a bit smoother for you today- I have been in that too tightly wound state before myself, and know that it can take its toll.

I watched VM last night, am going to watch 60 tonight on DVR- my husband is so unhappy that fall TV is back. He had control of program recording over the summer- all forensic files all the time. Now that real programming is on, he doesn't get to see enough true life murder mystery for his liking.

[Christina/Mrs Broccoli Guy]

I feel the same way about Studio 60... I love Sorkin's shows but get sick of the self-righteous thing too.

Sounds like you found just the right things to pull you out of the ohmygodtheskyisfalling state... perhaps I shall try a few of them myself!

Thank you SO much for the prayers and have a great time at the Vietnamese restaurant - we had Pho at Crossroads the other day and it was soooo good. Just can't wait until I can try the 'real' thing in Vietnam!!

[Maureen]

I'm very glad you're feeling better. I was worried about you because you hadn't updated! And I guess I will shut my mouth about the hypnobirthing forever, as it involves a relaxation CD (sheepish grin).

[Theresa]

Off-topic to your post, but I can't help noticing the two Ms. O'Connor works on your nightstand. And yet. You still have not emailed me back! Now I will wail and gnash my teeth!

[Melissa]

Gosh, the more I read your blog, the more I keep thinking that we were twins separated at birth----except that I'm way older. I'm totally going to read that book. My dr. just gave me some 'old' antidepressant in very low doses that is now used as a sleep aid...because I'm anxious, emotional, possibly suffering from post-partum 'blues' 10 months after the fact, etc. I know..more than you needed to know. :)

Here's another similarity.. my husband is so TOTALLy into remote control airplanes. He's obsessed...it's often a point of contention in our marriage. Need I say more?? I will pray for you! (I think his club Red Apple Flyers has a website...??too lazy to check right now) Actually, it's a great little hobby...there could be so many worse things he could be into, so I count my blessings.

How far along are you? What an amazing time. I long to have just one more baby because I LOVE the whole package of being pregnant.

And here's the last 'in common' thing from this post: The verse you quoted was in a book I read by Robin Jones Gunn (I think the book title was Waterfalls or something like that...too lazy to look right now--are you catch a trend here with me??) Anyways, I happened to pick up the book at the library because it looked like one of those easy-to-read, not-too-hard-to-follow-along-with books. It ended up completely ministering to my soul as I read through. I just somehow connected with the character and her 'issues' and struggles. That verse was sort of the theme of the book and has been so special to me ever since.

Have a blessed weekend!
melissa in central WA