Further evidence of my unparalleled dorkiness

So, yes, I'm sort of bad at announcing things. Sorry!

A few weeks ago I had a mini baby shower at my house. The guest of honor and I had gone out for coffee the day before and I told her my news, which was really fun. (Have you seen a seven months pregnant woman jump up and down? Very amusing!) I told her that I was still getting used to the whole idea and I wasn't quite ready to tell all the girls who would be at the shower. I had no good reason for this, other than being the kind of person who gets overwhelmingly nervous about absolutely everything.

There were only five or six girls at the shower, and as a bunch of not-quite-newlyweds-anymore girls are wont to do, especially at a baby shower, everyone was talking about When To Have Babies. So and so was trying. So and so was waiting. So and so wasn't sure. I could feel my friend's eyes burning into me, just waiting for me to spill. But I didn't. Because I am a huge dork is who is exceptionally bad at announcing things. I either spit things out without any sort of forewarning at all or I sneak it into a remotely related conversation (see: yesterday) or I obsess and obsess until my whole body is quivering with anticipation and quietly, dorkily, share my news and turn bright red when someone makes a big deal about it.

My friend stayed after everyone else left so she could get in a few kicks. "What were you waiting for! That would have been a perfect time to tell everyone! They would have been so excited!"

But see, that's the PROBLEM. I am not quite the attention whore in real life that I am on my website. Telling a group of people anything, even a small group of people something fun and exciting makes my insides convulse. It's not that I don't like attention... I just don't like that much attention. I know, I am weird. It makes my ears turn pink and I get mumbly and embarrassed and I start wishing everyone would just act normal. Like my friend jumping up and down? That was cute and I was so proud of myself for Accepting Someone's Happiness On My Behalf, but then I was all, "Okay okay okay! Enough!" All I could think about at the shower was five or six faces all looking at me for too long, answering all their questions, saying "thank you" a dozen times... ACK! Couldn't I just randomly let it slip one morning after Mass? In between the "Hey, do you want to go to coffee hour?" and "Father seemed a little grumpy today, didn't you think?"

NORMAL people can't WAIT to have everyone be excited about them. I understand this. And hopefully I get appropriately excited and happy for other people. I actually really enjoy people being excited for me, really- I just enjoy it at home, quietly, when I talk to Phillip or I write on my website or I tell my mom about my week when I call her on Saturday mornings. (And this is one thing I am not so excited for about being pregnant- you can't hide it. I can right now, but later on I'm going to have to buy one of those "Hello, I'm due in May, it's a Boy/Girl, I feel fine, no you can't touch my belly" shirts from Cafe Press. I am not kidding. I participated in a church meeting ice breaker a few weeks ago and happened to be standing next to my pregnant friend. EVERY SINGLE PERSON asked her the exact same questions. I told her she should just stamp her vitals on her forehead. Much easier that way.)

Gah. I am so embarrassed to even write this. But really. I don't even like it when people say more than "looks nice" about my haircut. (Which is still short, by the way, and still makes me look like my first grade picture.)

Unless you are Phillip. Then you have to be OVER THE MOON about every single thing, including what I ate for lunch, the fascinating blog posts I read and how I finally decided on the perfect outfit, shoes and all, forty-seven changes later.

Now, to keep in character, I will opt to change the subject to one of my favorites, my holy sainted television set, and tell you all how ABSOLUTELY THRILLINGLY EXCITED I am to go home tonight, dig out the pint of chocolate brownie chocolate ripple chocolate chunk chocolate ribbon ice cream Phillip fetched for me the other night and watch the season premiere of Veronica Mars, so thoughtfully saved for me by TiVo.

And then? Later on? Tonight? At a friend's house? Where we are meeting an hour earlier to thoroughly recap last season? LOST. Whee!

Comments

[Jenn]

I have no urge whatsoever to have a baby, and I dread the day when perfect stangers feel totally comfortable touch my stomach. Aiee! Someday, I will go through pregnancy wearing a t-shirt that says "HANDS OFF!"

I totally understand that uncomfortableness (Hi, my name is Jenn and I like to make up words) of accepting excitement on your behalf. And! I am excited for you! So accept it, dammit.

Also, you already have Phillip fetching you ice cream? Awesome.

[Maureen]

The questions aren't so bad, and, despite my expectations, only one person has touched my belly without permission, and only my mother and aunt requested permission. I have generously offered my belly to friends who touched it, but were possibly doing so out of politeness and wished I would stop making them feel the baby. So apparently, it's not a guarantee that strangers will keep touching you or even asking to touch you. I was almost disappointed, as I had planned on using my cousin's "Touch-back" policy which she said worked a charm.

[orangepaas]

I really, really wanted to have one of those t-shirts made...and having TWINS just complicates the whole deal. Be glad you're just having *one*. (Or so we all think.)

[Jen-Again]

I am like you on the attention thing- I can handle one on one attention for a few minutes, then i have to change the subject to deflect. I an group? NO way, Jose. I wish that I could open presents alone, then later express to the giver how much I like/appreciate/etc the gift. I am just no good at that much focus being on me.

Also- I will be watching VM tonight from my TiVo, then settling in for Lost. So excited about the VM season being back in swing- love me some Logan!

[Angela]

The thing that scares me the most about pregnancy is the constant ADVICE. Seriously! Prepare yourself now! That's my advice!!

All of the blogs I read where the person has gotten preggers, it's like people suddenly come out of the freaking woodword and there are 50 comments a day on breastfeed/don't breastfeed, co-sleep/keep baby in crib at all costs... Oh my gosh, I get a headache just thinking about it!

So, I think someday my pregnancy t-shirt will say something along the lines of: "Are you my mom? Then I don't want to hear about it!!"