So boring my eyes just rolled behind my brain

I'm a bit bereft of material lately. I have started about five different posts today, all to be chucked away within three or four paragraphs for the crimes of being Unfunny, Trite, Dull and Pretentious. Also Serious, which I really can't bear at the moment. Serious needs to get in line behind Hole In The Head for things I really need. I think of all of these bothersome attempts at Profoundity are the effect of the weather, which suddenly decided that today marks the first day of Fall, take that you wussy Seasonal Affective Disorderlies!

I went to the dentist yesterday because I need two crowns. No one bothered to tell me what that means and I was too stupid to ask. I spent three hours in the most uncomfortable chair in the world, had my dentist interrupted whilst drilling to work on the new paging system at least fourteen times, was repeatedly told to shut my eyes if I didn't want to see a syringe and nearly fainted when I got up from the chair, as my feet were elevated above my head and my bloodstream contained ten times its daily quota of recreational herbal substances. When it was over they turned me upside down and shook out my pockets till all the pennies clattered noisily to the floor. The good news is that the hygienist from hell was nowhere near my room.

Thinking about that hygienist reminds me to tell you about a rather old gentleman who called me up today and said the following item of interest: "You're Maggie Cheung? Are you from Hong Kong? You don't sound like an Oriental." People think I'm making it up when I say these things, but I'm most sincerely not. (That phone call made me think of the 'Diversity Day' episode of The Office. We watched it last night with our neighbors who kindly bought the first season DVD and didn't blink when we immediately invited ourselves over. Also, they served brownies and ice cream. We may have to move in.)

Also I am sort of panicking because I have to bring snacks to the church meeting tonight. Me and me alone. I am solely responsible for ensuring that the committee members do not keel over from hunger halfway through the meeting. Last night I made scones, because I had the extremely reasonable thought that: hey! everybody loves scones! They are FAIR scones, which are even better. Do you have fair scones? I was under the impression that fair scones are strictly the local fair thing, but for all I know you people have fair scones at your local fair and mine are nothing special. (But even if you do, I don't care, my fair's scones are the sublimest divinest yummiest scones in the history of scones. And you can buy a mix! Just add water!) Okay, so I made the scones, but then what? That can't be all. The last person who brought snacks brought, like, ten different things. So I stood uncertainly in the produce section today, staring at the strawberries and the nectarines and wondering if I should bake something else or make a cheese tray or OH GOD WHAT GOES WITH SCONES? I have a feeling these people are more choosy than the people in my office, who will unflinchingly eat the last week-old cut-in-half doughnut. I ended up buying fruit. I will make a little fruit tray and heat up the scones and make some coffee. /FREAKOUT

Dude. This is the lamest entry ever. Let's all hope the church meeting supplies me with some juicy blog fodder. Ha. Maybe I can write about how the nun reminds me of my great aunt with the magenta lipstick and the funny way of swallowing the ends of all her words. Won't THAT be interesting. I can't wait.

Comments

[Christina/Mrs Broccoli Guy]

Okay, no fair that you can be that bored and still write a wonderful entertaining post! Seriously *not* the lamest entry ever... I have quite a few of those and yours don't come close to rivaling mine. LOL

[the Pharmacist]

I LOVE fair scones! And I love to make scones, but they always taste better when made by teenagers in a little hut at the fair. Now if we can just figure out a way to avoid paying $20 just to get into the fair when all we really want are the SCONES!

Hope they went over well with the church people! Just one scone would make up for my first day of S.A.D.

[Antonia]

hehe! I was very entertained!!

The constantly recurring argument in England over scones is their pronunciation; the country is divided in 2 over whether they are pronounced

scOne (like JOhn)

or scone (like joan or stone) ( I guess phonetically that might be sc-oww-ne).

Seriously, people argue about it all the time!

The fruit & scones sounds like a good idea though. Other things that might go with scones here in England include butter and jam, or thick cream.

-x-

[Antonia]

Oh, and of course TEA!!!