In which I am furious with everyone for everything

I'm in a bad mood today Internet. And it has nothing to do with the fact that my bangs are too long and doing some kind of weird feathery Farrah Fawcett thing on my forehead. Although that doesn't help.

It's Friday and it's sunny, so I need to just buck up and smile cheerily at the people who think the tables inside databases are just like Excel spreadsheets and to respond politely to the people who continue to reply to an email which said, quite clearly, reply to someone who is NOT ME. (Seriously. What is wrong with them? The first group appears to think they know how to do my job, which, NO, and the second group is powering a prominent local industry without, apparently, the benefit of knowing how to read. Stop pissing me off, People!)

You know what else is bugging me?

The townhouses next door to me STILL aren't finished. And yesterday, when I was hauling four houses' worth of garbage and recycling cans back to the garages (we are good neighbors, us four townhouse owners), I noticed that there was a thick layer of brown dust on every lid. And when I went upstairs, I saw that there was a finer, yet still quite visible, layer of brown dust on the floor near the dining room windows, the ones that face the new house. Which still isn't finished. Because there is a freaking CONCRETE STRIKE and therefore NO DRIVEWAY. Which means I still have loudmouthed day laborers listening to their ranchero music (thanks orangepaas!) while they putz around waiting to finish the dumb houses.

Okay, now I'm sitting here trying to think of all the other things conspiring to irritate me in the last several days (and, I assure you, there are multitudes), but all I can think about is STUPID PEOPLE and how they are all plotting against me with their STUPIDNESS!

It's not like I claim to know everything. I cannot, for example, balance a chemical equation to save my life. Far be it from me to tell my friend the high school chemistry teacher how to improve her classroom. Or my friend who spent yesterday evening filtering out white blood cells instead of hanging out with me: like I would ever deem to say to her, "You know, Inclined-Towards-The-Sciences Friend, I believe the white ones should go there and not there." Also, I do not know what the difference is between DSL and cable modem and this is why I allow my husband to make all the Technological Decisions in our house, even though this continues to cost me many mountains of dollars. (Apparently we need the Super Super Fast Internet rather than the Super Fast Internet or else one of us will positively collapse and die. And I am in favor of whatever prevents the dying, despite the mountains of dollars.) IN ADDITION! I am woefully bereft of any sort of skill that would allow me to do the work of the aforementioned Stupid People. Ever! Here are things I cannot do: Talk in public. Talk on the phone. Earn actual money for my business. Be nice to customers. Service with a smile. This is why they stash me in the corner where I have built myself a little fort of stained coffee mugs and fifteen pound user guides.

But I do know a thing or two about MY job. My role as Resident Office Geek was cemented the day I downloaded the trial version of Dreamweaver, for fun, and proceeded to rebuild the company website using CSS layouts. (Which I totally suck at, by the way, but I'll bet you a bazillion trillion dollars that I am the only person in the near vicinity who knows what CSS even IS.) So unless you can define the term "relational" as it regards databases, STAY AWAY FROM MY FORT OF NERDERY.

(And for those of you who do understand the term "relational", YES, the bar is set THAT LOW.)

While we're talking about things that annoy the crap out of me:

Every time I hear someone say "brushetta" I die a little bit inside. People! It's brusKETTA! With a K sound. OH MY GOD ENOUGH ALREADY.

Comments

[Renae]

Seriously? It's brusketta? Crap! I am one of those annoying people who's been saying it wrong all these years. Darn. But I do make kick but bruschetta.

[Rosemary]

Yeah, I don't even know Italian but for some reason that gets on my nerves too. Not that I pronounce any other Italian food words correctly. . .well, except biscotti.

Maggie, I don't know what to say except THINGS ARE GOING TO GET BETTER!

[Angela]

1) I wish, wish, WISH I understood the first thing about your Fort of Nerdery. No offense to your friend who enjoys organizing white blood cells, but I feel like the "understanding of computers" Fort would get me a bit further in my field than the fort where they play with blood.

2) BrusKetta?? No freakin' way... wow... this is blowing my mind almost as much as the time I was told by a Greek person that gyro is pronounce "yeero"... My world has been rocked to the core...

[orangepaas]

who knew my knowledge of ranchero music would come in handy yet again :)