For some reason playing dress up is more fun NOW

Something that is awesome: Veronica Mars and I share the same birthday.
Something that is not: Logan is a Scientologist. Sob.

Tis the season of television finales, always a bittersweet time. YAY- (close your eyes, Lee) Jim kissed Pam! BOO- they won't be back till the FALL. Gah. It's enough to make me wish for winter. Almost. November sweeps is really the only good thing about winter, in my opinion.

So anyway. Yesterday in between the griping and the moaning, I happened to mention the Church Tea Party. Let me tell you how I got suckered into the whole tea party thing.
*phone rings*

PHILLIP: Hello?

CHURCH LADY: May I speak to Maggie please?

PHILLIP: It's for you. I think it's that lady from church.

MAGGIE: I'm not here.

PHILLIP: Yes, you are.

MAGGIE: Why do you always have to answer the phone?

PHILLIP: Because you never answer the phone.

MAGGIE: ...

PHILLIP: You know, people answer their phones every day. Hardly any of them catch a terminable illness.

MAGGIE: *stinkeye*

MAGGIE: Hello?

CHURCH LADY: Church tea party blah blah blah host a table blah blah blah we'd LOVE to have some YOUNG PEOPLE INVOLVED blah blah blah you can get some other girls to help blah blah blah you can all use your wedding china blah blah blah it'll be fun!

MAGGIE: Except-

CHURCH LADY: Oh, and each table should have a THEME. One of the ladies will be using her Raggedy Ann collection and another lady is going to use her bell collection- her whole table is going to look like a BELL!

MAGGIE: Oh, how lovely.

CHURCH LADY: Won't it be! I just think you'll have a great time!

MAGGIE: Well, I-

CHURCH LADY: And we could use Phillip to help with the serving. Thanks! *Click!*

PHILLIP: I'm going to help do WHAT?

MAGGIE: DO YOU SEE WHY I NEVER ANSWER THE PHONE?

Okay, so it wasn't going to be horrible. I was going to ask my handful of Actual Honest-To-God Church Friends to help out. It was going to be a big girly quasi-fun production and we would be INVOLVED and HELPFUL and make the old ladies hearts swell with pride and excitement in their Young People. Except, my church friends are both in weddings that day. "We're SO SORRY" they said, snickering behind their so-fake-sorry exteriors.

Also, I do not own any wedding china. Registering was painful enough without also informing our guests we wanted them to buy us 12 gilt-edged $80 place settings that we would never ever use. (GOD, registering sucked. I would write an entire post on how much I hate the entire IDEA, except all of my friends would throw bricks through my windows with vicious little notes rubberbanded around them, notes that would say: HOW ARE PEOPLE SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT TO BUY, YOU MORON and THIS WAY WE DON'T HAVE TO SPEND MONTHS RETURNING GAUDY CRYSTAL VASES and I would have to screech: THEY DON'T HAVE TO BUY YOU AAAANNYYYYTHIIIIIIING! Honestly, people. Miss Manners did not get her moniker for nothing.) (On the other hand, I have to go to a wedding in July and I haven't a clue what to buy and that registry is awful nice to have. So shut up, Maggie.)

ANYWAY. The above kind of messed with my whole theme of: Finally Using All The Silly Stuff We Got From Our Weddings. And while I have a lot, I hardly have enough to fill up an 8-setting table. So I started to think about my "collections" (none) and "knick knacks" (none around which a "theme" could be concocted, unless the theme was "stuff my mother has sent for each and every holiday since I moved away from home.") What I do have is quite a lot of cocktail party accoutrements: swizzle sticks, pretty glasses, coasters, glass charms, shot glasses, bar tools. But this is a church lady tea party, not the church lushes cocktail soiree.

I do, however, have several feather boas. AND I knew of two other people who would lend me their feather boas. And last night? I bought two more feather boas (pink and black) from this store. And who doesn't love wearing feather boas? WHO? (I restrained myself from also buying a 1980's prom dress, but that is totally going to be my theme next year.)

I dug out my giant rectangle of gold spangly fabric (originally for the Oscar party, used henceforth for the coffee table, the entry way table, the buffet bar) and my gold spangly star garland. I hauled my dad's Bavarian china (yes, my DAD'S china) out of storage and was THRILLED to note the pink rosette pattern and the gold edging. Tonight I am going to buy a cheapo tiara for each of my guests and some sort of prize... a pair of long white gloves, perhaps? I have no idea what kind of "theme" this is, but I am seriously considering wearing my aubergine bridesmaid's dress.

Maybe my theme is something like: Pink, Gold, Gaudy and Spangly. ??? It will be uglier than the school cafeteria in which the event will be held, but I'm thinking that enduring a church lady tea party will be a lot more fun if I am also wearing a tiara and pink feathers around my neck.

Comments

[Arwen]

Thanks to my wedding, I am in possession of twelve place settings of Royal Doulton china, plus a full set of Waterford crystal (water goblets, white wine glasses, and red wine glasses), plus a set of actual silver. No one has this stuff anymore, especially the silver which costs, like, $60 for a fork. But I have it because I married a man whose family owns a jewelry store and it was simply assumed that we would register for all that stuff. (No joke, we even tried to register for silver-plate flatware instead of solid sterling because it was so much cheaper, but it was so important to his parents that we have sterling that they decided to buy us the set themselves.)

When I think of all the wickedly awesome kitchen appliances I'd be able to buy for the cost of all that china, crystal, and silver (which we have used about three times in our four years of marriage) it makes me sad.

[maggie]

DUDE Arwen. You could have, like, a KitchenAid in EVERY COLOR.

[Arwen]

I know! Don't mention it, or I will seriously start to get depressed. :(

[lee]

holy crap i just watched the office finale!