Girl detective

You know what's really fun? Playing your new Nancy Drew computer game (for detectives 10 and up) in your pajamas at 11:30 at night because you can't sleep and you're waiting for the Benadryl to kick in and knock you out. This, after I'd just got done bragging to all and sundry that I'd been able to fall asleep without abusing any substance for the entire summer. It was, however, an improvement on Saturday night which was spent half in bed, half out of bed, drifting in and out of whatever was on TV. Anxiety's a sneaky bastard. Right when you think you're falling under, a new wave splashes over and you and, well, there goes your fourteenth chance at staying asleep.

But Nancy Drew? Is awesome. Those games have some creepy background music that doesn't necessarily soothe the anxious soul, but they do keep your mind off things. My new game is about a haunted amusement park- someone stole a carousel horse, there's a secret workshop under the haunted house and four suspects I get to interrogate. They're fun and not totally frustrating like a lot of other adventure games (see: ages 10 and up)- except for the parts where you have to play a game or figure out a riddle. I hate that. It's annoying and takes up valuable hunting-for-clues time. But in this game I have to win a particular prize from an arcade game in the amusement park. I have to actually play the game. And the game is a full color version of a game my brothers and I used to play on our dad's old Macintosh (the kind that was like a shoebox balanced on an end with a tiny green and black screen on top) and I have spent all morning trying to remember what it's called. It's the game where you have a paddle and a ball and you have to clear the screen by hitting the objects without dropping the ball. On the Mac it was a stack of bricks that disappeared when the ball hit; in my new game the ball has to blast "barnacles" off the screen. Does anyone know what that Mac game was called?

So anyway. It's 11:30. It's terrifically hot in my little yellow bedroom but opening the window requires getting up from my desk. I am super tired and super jittery. My brain is swimming in Benadryl and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I CANNOT BEAT THIS GAME.

Now I am tired, jittery and pissed off.

MAGGIE: This is freaking ridiculous.

COMPUTER: I know. Look at you. A grown woman playing a Nancy Drew game. For shame.

MAGGIE: Shut up. I only have seven barnacles left. I need to concentrate.

BENADRYL: Ha ha! Concentration!

MAGGIE: Six! Only six! I'll make it this time!

PADDLE: Whatever. You're good for another fifteen tries at least.

BARNACLES: Bite me.

MAGGIE: cry of woe

COMPUTER: Starting over? Again? Possibly it's time to consider shutting me down for the night.

BENADRYL: We are currently enjoying a period of blurry vision and lost focus, but my drowsy side effect has not yet overcome the symptoms of an unnaturally anxious state. This is SO EXCITING!

PHILLIP: Maggie? Are you... shouting at the computer?

COMPUTER: GOD SAVE US.

MAGGIE: I need the harmonica so I can take it to the carousel and learn the song and then play it for the suspect in the park office! JUST GIVE ME THE HARMONICA!

PADDLE: It's not MY fault.

NANCY DREW: Girlfriend, you are making me look really bad. First you can't find the soldering gun, then you nearly get run over by the roller coaster and now this. If Ned finds out about this we are THROUGH.

Comments

[Wouldn't you like to know?]

Nice game-play, Paggie. You must remember though that "Nancy Drew" pronounced backwards says, "word yes nan" which in Tajikistan means "eat my shorts, you flat-nosed butt sniffer!". So I wouldn't just be playing that game late at night by myself lest you accidentally mumble "word yes nan" whilst a very angry Tajik happened to walk by your brand spankin new Townhome. You git what ahm sayin'?