There WILL be chocolates on the pillows

Never the kind of people to let the Universe get us down, Phillip and I spent Sunday evening in the company of our cheerful and industrious real estate agent writing up another offer on a townhouse. It took nearly two hours (one hour of which could have been eliminated if Phillip had only acted on his impulses to deliver a swift kick in the rump to Mr. Agent every time he began to repeat himself. Which was every other sentence.) This was the essence of our offer:

Dear Mr. Builders Who Are Handsome and Wonderful and Sporting Large Pectoral Muscles:

Please oh please let us have one of your funky new townhouses, the rear one on the right, if possible, for we love the sparkly newness and we haaaaaaaaate our apartment and cannot bear to spend another summer with the heat and the ants and the laundry room in the basement. For this we will give you a cement truck full of American dollars. There are some strings, those being:

1. please don't paint the cabinets a minty olive green as this is an affront to all people who everywhere who would prefer not to be reminded of baby puke as they cook their nightly meals.

2. you must give us something extra in return for not automatically supplying us with a washer dryer combo and a refrigerator, especially as whatever refrigerator we purchase will cost the entire GDP of Argentina as it has to match the other snazzy fancy appliances in the kitchen.

3. and we are taking $500 off the asking price. Just because. We hope it makes us feel a smidge better about having to sell our firstborn to our father-in-law in order to purchase the house in the first place.

Sincerely Yours,

Phillip and Maggie Homebuyer

And guess what, Internet? The builders AGREED. In fact, they are having their people REPAINT the kitchen cabinets white because I was so repulsed by the Minty Olive Green. (Painter: But it goes so well with the green streaks in the counter tops! The Builders are "fun"! They like to do things a little "differently"! Maggie: MY EYES ARE BLEEDING.) They are giving us MONEY to buy APPLIANCES. And the only condition is that we move up our requested closing date, and seriously, this is the most confusing part of home buying thus far, as I want to move in AS SOON AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. At 11:30 pm last night, in my pajamas, I suggested that we go "look at our house" and "try to get inside" because I wanted to "decide where the new red couches will go" and Phillip was all "how am I going to put up with her for another FIVE WEEKS?"

We meet up with Mr. Agent again tonight to sign over what ever we didn't sign over last night. Hopefully we won't try to inflict bodily harm as he makes sure- for the eighteenth time- that we really truly understand the finer points of addendums and inspections. There will most likely be a stop at the grocery store afterwards for cheap champagne. Whee!

Chateau Cheung is now taking reservations at mightymaggieATgmailDOTcom

Comments

Chateau Cheung is very difficult to say.
OHMIGOD, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!
If people want to snoop, what's the address?!?!?
Love Aunt Pat