The state of our union is strong

So continues the week so boring that nothing seems post-worthy. We could talk about how revolting it is that Rebecca and Adam weren't booted off The Amazing Race last night. Or how I get sucked into Judging Amy every week after The Amazing Race. Which is not good, because, dude, I already have an unhealthy amount of free time committed to television.

My days begin with cable news. I used to turn on Channel 13 as soon as I woke up to check the weather and the overnight crime stats, but ever since the obligatory cute female Asian anchorette, Christine Chen, and the obligatory chipper weatherman, Walter Whatshisname, got shipped down to the 10 o'clock news, it's just not the same. Now I wake up with an assortment of CNN, MSNBC and Fox, depending on who's got the best stories and/or bottom-of-the-screen news tickers. I still click over to Channel 13 for the local stuff and the Getaway Guy, but my anchorette loyalty now lies with Daryn and Bridget. And Bridget, THANK GOD you finally did something with that HAIR.

I turn on the TV when I get home from work for background noise. And once again I opt for cable news, mainly because there's nothing like some good after-hours punditry. Then we enter the happy and fluffy Primetime World and Whatever Goodies TiVo Saved For Me Last Week. 

We are, however, pondering a dilemma right now, that dilemma being What Do We Do When Scrubs is on at the Same Time as The Amazing Race? My ideas consisted of sending anthrax-laced nastygrams to network executives as punishment for their evil scheduling or, if that didn't work, using the VCR. (I know. Like, how 90's of us.) But Phillip, as the bigger thinker, the outside-of-the-box guy, the man wedded to Best Buy, proclaimed that we should, instead, purchase a Second Tuner.

A SECOND TUNER!

What this means, Internet, is that I'm going to become even MORE addicted to TV. Whereas I must thoughtfully arrange my TV viewing schedule on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, days when I am usually Out and About (I want to watch Lost, but Katie wants us to TiVo the West Wing! Gilmore Girls and Scrubs? Or The Amazing Race? And if TiVo catches The Apprentice instead of The O.C. one more time there will be no end to the weeping and gnashing of teeth.), a second tuner would free me from the neverending squabbling with Recording Priorities. Internet, I could TiVo EVERYTHING. Eat your heart out, Nielsens.

A second tuner's kinda pricey, but Phillip and I know what's important. When you're busy four nights out of five, there's nothing more lovely than collapsing in front of your best friend, TV, on that fifth night and finding that you have hours and hours of commercial-free entertainment at your fingertips. A Good Eats on cheesecake? AWESOME!

Tonight, however, Lost takes a back seat to Our Nation's President and the State of the Union address. Will he wear a red or blue tie? I can barely contain my excitement. I'm going to make some popcorn, bust out the laptop and watch with Alex, a Proud Supporter and Possible Member of Right-Wing Nut Jobs and their Nefarious Ilk. It's going to be awesome. Alex and I may not agree on everything (whether or not Tucker Carlson rocks the bow tie, for example, is still unsettled), but we shall quite enjoy watching Teddy Kennedy turn dangerously blue and playing the State of the Union Drinking Game. And just a warning, Internet: I may do you all a grand disservice and allow Alex to unleash his biting political snark as a (gasp!) guest blogger. And now YOU can barely contain YOURSELVES. I KNOW.

Alex, direct your libel suit to mightymaggie AT gmail DOT com