All right I feel better. Which means this post is pretty boring.

In the morning after kindergarten drop off I'm taking the girls to Children's Hospital for EJ's x-ray. They have a walk in x-ray clinic. You just show up! And get an x-ray! Crazypants! Then we have an appointment at 4pm to... actually, I'm not entirely sure what it's for. My understanding of what the referrals are for and what the appointments actually ARE are not the same. So. Some people would, you know, find out. Me, I'm pretty SURE I know what's going on and that is overriding my general dislike of dealing with all of these things. Mom of the year! 

But I think it's going to be okay. Even if it's not okay, things will be okay. She's walking now - I had her perform for the preschool parents AND the kindergarten teacher. Everywhere we go people comment on what a happy baby. And as of the last week or so the kid does not shut up. Ever. She's either happy bubbling or indignant barking or demandy whining. I just feel like things will be okay. 

Perhaps I can say this because my in-laws want to take the big kids to the Seattle Center (the big park and various museums and playhouses and concert halls by the Space Needle) for this giant bounce house festival thing? I don't know. Sounds like the ninth circle of hell to me. But this means I don't have to think about having two other kids with me at the consultation appointment, and Phillip is going to meet me there, and afterwards we'll have a Parents And Youngest Child date at the fancy outdoor shopping center. I am thinking sushi and retail therapy at Crate & Barrel. 

Besides, I feel like everything is GOOD. Sometimes it's going too fast, but it all feels like good stuff right now. Shoot you guys, I made DINNER. Honey mustard pork chops, asparagus, sauteed mushrooms and zucchini, and leftover mac and cheese for the boy who subsists on preservatives. I used my treadmill today (while watching Veronica Mars. I'm reviewing.) I have a plane ticket to Sacramento. I've joined the Y. Pretty much the only thing bugging me right now is how behind I am on laundry and the fact that my stylist is not available for a haircut on Saturday. OH WAIT. I just checked and there was a cancellation for the precise time I would have requested. OMG. STARS=ALIGNED.

I shall now wait for the laundry fairy to appear. 

In the meantime, I'll show you what I made today:

I do not know what is up with all those weird LINES! They don't exist in real life. Do I blame the camera? ANYWAY. This is the present for Jack's teacher, about to have her first baby in May. I could have just bound up the pages and made a cover out of cardstock or whatever, but just buying a scrapbook sounded SO much easier. I bought letter stickers and baby stickers and then gluesticked the whole thing together. Each piece of "advice" is on its own page with a picture of the advice giver.The only things I'm missing are a class photo, which I totally didn't bother to buy and therefore do not have a picture to copy and put in the book, and a picture of one kid and I don't know how that happened because he's the one I worked with FOREVER.  The student teacher is going to get back to me about whether we're giving it to her this Friday or next and I'm thinking I'll make Orangette's pink cookies, except they'll be light blue and green (it's a BOY.) So yeah, part of me feels like a total teacher suck up (perhaps I have a history), but I also think it's really cute and she'll love it. 

Okay people, think good x-ray thoughts! I'm fairly certain I'll be stresstweeting from the appointment. Doesn't that sound super fun?! You are SO EXCITED!

In which I pretend I know what to do with 20ish kindergartners (I so do not)

I am volunteering in Jack's class tomorrow. For the first time. Worse: I am not volunteering so much as GIVING THE LESSON. This particular lesson is called Make A Present For Your Teacher Who's Having A Baby In Two Months!

I made the mistake of asking my mother for baby present suggestions. I was thinking she'd give me appropriate parent-teacher gift ideas: a nice blanket maybe, an outfit, a card from Jack, I DON'T KNOW. Instead, my mother, who is nothing if not ambitious, creative, and full of Can Do Spirit! said, "YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE REALLY COOL?" And proceeded to tell me that I should get all the kids to think about "what makes a good mom?" and then write down what they think and draw a picture and MAKE A BOOK.

Me! Who has no contacts within the school OR the parent community! WHO HAS ABSOLUTELY NO GUIDING SMALL CHILDREN IN SCHOOL EXPERIENCE. 

I am, however, nothing if not wanting to get an A+ in everything, especially gift giving and mom approval, SO. After approximately nine bazillion emails with my partner in crime (aka the teacher across the hall I unceremoniously roped into arranging things for me) we found a time for me to come in and attempt book pages. As I type I am printing out card stock with a big box and lines underneath for the pages. Draw your picture in the box! I will help you write your Good Mom Advice! And then I will somehow (??????) fix these pages into a nice keepsakey book that the teacher can pull out years from now and say to her husband, "Oh yeah, I remember that Jackson kid, he was in my class that year I had [BABY NAME], remember? He's the one who nearly died of mortification when I had to tell him to be nice that one time?"

(DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THAT? I think that was one of those things that I decided were Not Blog Appropriate. On my kid's behalf. Good story, though.)

Anyway. I'm not exactly NERVOUS, but I guess I am a little APPREHENSIVE. I can barely get my own children to follow directions let alone another 25 kids belonging to OTHER people. So we'll see how this goes. If all else fails I can go purchase a nice blanket. 

In other news: Phillip's cousin's kid is flying out here tonight and staying with us so he can attend some College Weekend thing for prospective freshmen. Then his dad is flying in tomorrow? And maybe staying with us? And maybe I am making dinner for all these people, but maybe I'm not? I'm repeating the Cheung Family Motto to myself - "We'll just play it by ear!" - but it's not really working this time. In case you haven't figured it out, I am terrified of AND bad at making dinner. Anyone got any Easy No Fail Dinners? We'll probably go with our standard salmon/rice/broccoli it being a Friday during Lent and all, but if you have suggestions I'm sure I can make use of them in the future. Like the week AFTERWARDS when Phillip's brother and his family comes to visit. GAK.

 

Kindergarten homework

IS STUPID. Seriously! Who knows what that picture is! WE HAVE NO IDEA. Today we were trying to figure out the begnning and ending sound of a word, three letters, middle letter E, with a picture of... a paint brush? In a puddle of paint?  Ten minutes later Phillip shouted, "RED! It's a black and white copy! RED! RED!"

Then there was a picture of a diamond. Blank E BLANK. Gem, right? It's gem. What kindergartner knows the word gem? GEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS IS NOT ON ANYMORE.

Jack said, "I think it's JEWEL," and then Phillip says, "no, I think it's GEM. JEWEL has too many letters."

So then Jack asks, "How do you spell JEWEL?" 

Phillip says, "J - E - W - L." 

And I say, from the kitchen where I am bent over a sink full of dirty dishes, wiping the sweat from my brow, realizing that not only must I cook the meals and do the dishes I must also be responsible for ALL THE SPELLING: "OH. MY. GAWD. PHILLIP CHEUNG. J-E-W-E-L."

"Oh right," Phillip says. 

"How come you don't know how to spell JEWEL," Jack asks. "You must not be a grown up." 

I KNOW, JACK. I KNOW. 

Oh, as I'm typing this, Jack, who is still doing his homework, comes over to me shouting, "THIS DOESN'T MAKE SEEEEEEENSE!!!"

I look over it and say, "I don't understand. Everything's right. You did a good job."

He goes, "But WHY do I have to do six plus one so many TIMES when I already KNOW IT?"

#snotbrat

The best Christmas pageant ever

I'm trying not to be horribly disappointed that Jack's school does not do a Christmas program. Or a Holiday program. Or a Winter or Snowflake or Solstice or New Year program. As far as I know they do NOTHING, at least I think I would have heard about it by now. HUGE. BUMMER.

My THEORY is that the school is respecting its fairly large population of Muslim students and their families. With maybe a bit of liberal West Coast overcompensation in the Avoidance Of All Things Remotely Smacking Of Religion (though I should note, with a bit of honest shock, that Jack's school DOES do the Pledge of Allegiance.) 

My other, more worrisome theory is that they just don't have TIME to put on a holiday program. SIGH. 

Kindergarten has been a bunch of surprises for me. Surprise at how well Jack and I both took to this full day separation (ok, maybe not a TON of surprise about that). Surprise at how ACADEMIC kindergarten is. Weren't there TOYS in your kindergarten classroom? Maybe a kitchen and dolls? And plenty of arts and crafts? I thought kindergarten was one big poster paint session. But no, everyone says kindergarten is "the new first grade" and dude, it totally is. I can't believe some of the schooly stuff Jack is learning. I mean, I think it's GREAT and he likes doing it and handles it well and Phillip and I are BOTH so pleased and amazed by how much he's learned so far.

But there are no toys or "centers" and very little art. Jack's school does not have a music program or an art teacher. He's done a few art projects within the context of the curriculum, within his own class, but only a few. I know his teacher sings songs with him and there are heaps of intstruments for older kids to borrow for an after-school band, but there is no music otherwise. 

And once a month I go to the meeting at church where I hear everything about everything, which always includes a lot about the parish school, and every month I wonder: what would THAT be like? An amazing art teacher. And OBVS a Christmas program, with singing, featuring the Baby Jesus. I LOVED the idea of Jack learning that stuff right along with how to read and add and subtract. There's a curriculum and there is OTHER STUFF. 

At Jack's school they barely have time for science. 

So. This is NOT a "I regret public school" post. I don't. At all. There are various little ways that I see how this was an excellent decision for Jack, for our family, and Life In General. I think it's awesome that there is a large percentage of Muslim students. I LOVE his teacher. She's fantastic. I would know this even without my mother, teacher extraordinaire, saying, "She sounds fantastic!" every time I talk about her. We've had a handful of email interactions over the last week or two that have resulted in more friendly and personal communication at school. The school has a focus on character that I really like, emphasizing kindness along with reading. I think their writing program is so great. Jack is really happy there and loves everything about school. 

Still, I am sad - for HIM - that there is no holiday songfest, with freshly scrubbed and dressed up little kids, with parents holding camcorders, with the excitement of going on a stage. He did it last year, at the Catholic preschool. Maybe it was just such a big part of MY school experiences, and my parents always putting on shows with their classes, that I'm irrationally mopey about it. 

I don't know. Maybe they do something in the spring. Maybe his own class will do a little something some day. Maybe he'll play the lead in the high school play and, vicariously, all my dreams will come true. Heh. 

IS there a perfect school situation? I think mine would be a diverse Catholic school, within walking distance, with Jack's current teacher, with his current class, free, unhindered by a budget, with active yet laid back and friendly parents. Dream on, right?

When I was little my mom would put brown towels on my brothers' heads (the big one was Joseph, the little one was a shepherd) and blue one on mine, hand me a baby doll, and make us sing Christmas carols in front of our family on Christmas Eve. I have a boy, a girl, and an ACTUAL baby. We can put on our own Christmas program this year. 

God threw me a bone

You guys, I'm not sure I can accurately describe how much I love kindergarten. How thankful I am for kindergarten. How happy and grateful and relieved I feel to pull up alongside the curb - because that is how we do it now - and watch my five-year-old run onto the playground, and how I don't pick him up until three o'clock in the afternoon. It is amazing. God bless kindergarten. 

That sounds horrible, doesn't it? IT REALLY DOES. What a mean and lazy mother! BUT YOU GUYS. Oh my gosh. I'm not sure I can accurately describe how READY this kid has been for kindergarten for the past, oh, YEAR. 

It's not that he's reading already or doing quadratic equations or incredibly sociable or speaking three languages or in any way unusually Advanced and/or Gifted or ANYTHING LIKE THAT. It's the fact that Jackson Cheung thrives on - no, practically REQUIRES - a project or an activity or a task or a plan or SOMETHING STRUCTURED TO DO all day, every day. Who knows how much money I've dropped at the dollar store on art supplies and workbooks and how many games and toys I've purchased simply to get an hour or two of quiet time. And I'm not GOOD at that. I run out of ideas super quick. Plus I'm impatient, lazy, and taking care of a baby. I do not have the time, inclination, or capability to come up with a Fun! Preschool! Project! morning, noon, and night. 

What did his teacher say at our home visit? OH YES. He is 1) always on task and 2) always ready to move onto the next activity, and also 3) sort of stymied by all the kids who are NOT ready. OMG. 

All summer long I was trying to figure out what to do with that kid. Thank God I found those two weeks of Vacation Bible School (which he STILL talks about, by the way. Score one for Mom!) But otherwise he was stuck at home with me and his sister who is content to play with her magnetic paper dolls for houuurrrsss and his baby sister who doesn't even MOVE and do you know how antsy and twerpy and out of control that kid got? I had to start a behavior chart! GAH!

But kindergarten? Oh blessed blessed kindergarten. Projects and activities and recess and snacks and more projects from nine to three every day of the week. I keep telling myself it's okay to be thrilled about school. Kids are SUPPOSED to go to school. It's not like I couldn't handle him at home anymore and found a full day week-long daycare situation for my five-year-old. It's SCHOOL. It's REQUIRED. He's LEARNING STUFF. With the grand and fabulous bonus that OTHER PEOPLE ARE DOING IT. 

Phillip has been out of town all week and as far as business trip weeks go, this one's been pretty average. No one is sleeping well and everything's a mess, but we've had friends and visitors and junk food and we've been fine. But you know what the biggest factor in being fine is? KINDERGARTEN. Kindergarten has drastically cut the amount of time I spend refereeing arguments and yelling and ordering people around. Molly likes projects too (more and more, unfortunately, gak) but she also loves to just help me do whatever I'm doing or quietly play on her own while I write email or even play nicely with her sister. When Jack is here there's fighting and noise and craziness and I don't trust him with Emma. He's not even being BAD, really, he just NEEDS STUFF TO DO! A business trip week with no kindergarten? I WILL find that full day week-long daycare.

Oh I'm so not even kidding you, I am so deliriously happy about having this kid in school. It is EXACTLY what he wants, nay, NEEDS to be doing. 

On the other hand... it's only Thursday. I am so tired. EJ is doing this new thing where she screams for a good half hour before she falls asleep at night. I don't get it. She's not eating either - maybe because she has a cold? They all have colds (thank you, kindergarten) (I don't care, I'll take the colds) and I've gone through nineteen boxes of Kleenex this week. I've changed wet sheets and bloody nose sheets. I've eaten terrible food and spent an entire day hating myself because I stepped on the scale. I've spent more money online this week than I have in months (it will almost all be returned, I'm sure.) (Well, except for Blathering Dress #3.) (Shut up.) This work travel thing is not so awesome. We're doing it and we're fine, but it's definitely not awesome. 

Still, there is kindergarten, and it is good. So good. You know, I've been indecisive about what to do with Molly next year, with her birthday being the cut off date and all, but she is GOING. HA.

Your depressing non-fiction reading list!

Here's your reading list: 

The Rise And Fall of the Third Reich by William Shirer

Berlin Diary by William Shirer (WAY INTERESTING, especially if you want to know what it was like being a foreign radio correspondent in Nazi Germany. Hint: CRAZY.)

Hitler: A Study In Tyrrany by Alan Bullock 

War Brides by Helen Bryan (cheap on the Kindle, historical fiction, kind of Potatoe Peel Pie-ish? With a big dash of old time New Orleans? Fun, quick read. Almost Luxe-ish, with all the intertwined romances.)

Double Cross by Ben Macintryre (this got much better, though it was still confusing, but I think maybe the story of double agents totally screwing with German intelligence IS confusing, also AMAZING.)

Inferno by Max Hastings (reading this now, more general overview-ish, but I know it gets into places like Burma and Kenya and I have NO IDEA what was going on THERE during the war)

World War II London Blitz Diary by Ruby Alice Side-Thompson (this was also cheap on the Kindle. SUPER depressing, but mostly because this woman was married to a creep, not because she was getting bombed every night)

Recommended by commenters, also my dad who sent me a big You Finally Wrote About Something *I* Am Interested In On Your Weirdo Website email:

The Guns Of August (my dad says I should start here with WWI)

Defying Hitler: A Memoir by Sebastian Haffner (recommended by a blog reader's husband! yay!)

Operation Mincemeat by Ben Macintyre (who also wrote Double Cross up there, recommended by @antiangie, which obvs I must read because spies! WWII! SICILY!)

 

In other news, the Cheungs had a lovely weekend, thank you very much. Jack's kindergarten teacher visited Saturday morning for about half an hour - kindergarten home visits are a new thing this year, and I think maybe only at disadvantaged schools like ours? I'm not entirely sure. I was anxious about it, but it was great. I like her even more, she was super forthcoming about absolutely everything, and talked a lot about what she notices about Jack. Namely that he's a VERY focused, studious, patient, people-pleasing sort of kid at school (HE IS NOT THAT WAY AT HOME, LET ME TELL YOU). And I sort of knew this? I mean, she didn't say people-pleasing, I added that in. Just that he's always on task and making sure he's doing what he's supposed to be doing and quietly waiting for the other kids to finish or transition to the next thing when they might be going crazy... anyway, I only say this because I heard her say it and when sort of nuts. Well, not VISIBLY nuts. But inside I was thinking: OH NO OH NO THIS IS ME THIS IS ME THIS IS MY ENTIRE ACADEMIC CAREER MY POOR KID I HAVE SCREWED HIM ALL UP! Because being Perfect at school is actually sort of HARD. 

I was talking to Phillip about it later and he was all, "Well no, this is good! Because you'll be able to talk to Jack about it!" Which I think is a nice spin on "you've passed on your Need To Appear Perfect to your innocent child". But clearly I was projecting. I mean, he has been in kindergarten for all of a week and a half. He has PLENTY of time to loosen up. And he probably will. He certainly screwed around last year in his Pre-K class. I mean, not that I WANT him to screw around, obvs, but the way his kindergarten teacher was talking, all I could see was his future in high school, ie: ME in high school, trying not to disappoint all the adults with high expectations PROJECTING PROJECTING PROJECTING!!!

Blargh. This school stuff isn't going to just be all sunshine and roses and lots of free time is it. (In summary: I HAVE ISSUES.)

Will you be my carpool friend?

Okay, so days with kindergarten AND preschool? Might kill me. 

8:40-8:45: take Jack to school, hang out on the playground until the bell rings, he goes inside for school 

8:45 - 9:25: drive to preschool neighborhood, find a coffee shop, drink decaf drip while Molly devours a chocolate croissant, keep Emma from dumping my purse on the floor

9:30: drop Molly at preschool 

9:45 - 11:25: Emma naps (maybe I shouldn't let her nap THAT long, gah)

11:30 - 12:15: retail therapy at the mall

12:30: pick up Molly, throw her a snack because she's starving

12:45 - 2:45: feed girls, entertain girls, keep girls awake because at 

3:00: we pick up Jack

AND THEN

3:15 - 3:45: try to get Emma to nap

3:45 - 5: Emma naps, Jack and Molly play the computer and do homework and draw pictures and miraculously do not fight

5 - 6: make dinner

6: Phillip comes home, dinner, I say, "DUDE, TODAY WAS ROUGH."

The answer, clearly, is Make A Carpool Friend. But I just don't know. I connected with a kindergarten mom and she was super nice and friendly and Jack talked about her daughter more than any other kid in his class, but she left! Gone! Poof! The oldest child was attending a different school and the mom finally managed to get the daughter into that school. Which: yes. That would be crazy. I am doing two different schools! I GET IT. But I am still sad. I haven't pinpointed another Kindergarten Parent Friend yet. 

And the preschool moms are actually super nice and everyone introduced themselves on the first day, but I'm pretty sure none of them live anywhere near me. And I don't have any friends nearby who I can talk into sending their kid to that preschool (for the explicit purpose of carpooling. I AM SUCH A GOOD FRIEND.) 

Soooo. I mean, I think it will be just Be. You know? It is what it is and all that. Yes, it's definitely hard for me to feel like the routine is all messed up, or that the routine is THIS routine, and I feel like I'm shortchanging Emma all over the place. But! She was fine. She did get a little cranky towards bedtime, but she MADE it to bedtime, which was great. And keeping the girls up instead of having a quiet time in the afternoon was lame, but it wasn't ANYWHERE near as lame as skipping quiet time with JACK around. 

Maybe if I only let Emma nap a short time in the morning she's likely to fall asleep right when we get home from picking up Molly? Maybe that's how I will handle this?

It will be okay. Eventually. Or even right now. It will be fine. 

It begins

I sent Molly to her second first day of preschool this morning. Heh.

Things are so different this year. Things are amazingly wildly different than three or four years ago, when I had two little babies at home - it wasn't that long ago, you know? I used to write here about my timid little boy getting bossed around by all my friends' little girls, how he'd break into tears at the slightest thing. And now he's marching into kindergarten without even saying goodbye, getting annoyed when I ask him how his day was, raising his hand, speaking out, swinging across the monkey bars. That's MY kid. 

Molly happily disappeared into her classroom. It went exactly how I expected - completely anticlimactic. She's older, bigger, not at all intimidated this year. It's awesome! It's also sad. It makes me squeeze Emma when I get home and make deals with her to stay squishy and babyish forever. 

Phillip is going to be out of town the last week of the month, and today he told me he most likely has to go part of next week too. I'm just putting that out there, in case anyone has any sway with the sleeping-through-the-night gods.

I don't feel like I have much in me right now, only what absolutely needs to happen - so the driving back and forth, the making of meals, the folding of underpants. I feel like things are getting dirty and forgotten about. I tried to get a few things done while the girls napped this afternoon, but I gave in to my eyelids, set the timer on my phone, and passed out on the couch. Lamest part of my day: waking two very tired girls to go get their brother. 

Best part of my day: getting dinner on the table - dinner everyone will eat - and Jack is chatty and talking about how they were sorting at school today and the way he says "sorting" in his little Jack accent just makes me melt. 

Everything will be different now

Jack is wandering around the living room. doing his weird Jacky things, and saying, "I'm practicing for kindergarten."

It starts tomorrow, but today we attended an orientation at the school. We met his teacher, poked around the classroom, checked out the other kids, and investigated the playground, the library, the computer room. When we asked Jack what he's most looking forward to, he said, "The bathrooms!" Okay then!

I sort of feel like his first day was today. Phillip took the morning off (he's taking off tomorrow too) and we all trooped into the school and met his teacher and sat in the tiny chairs while the kindergarteners sat on the rug and listened to their teacher for the very first time. There was no fear. I wasn't worried about him, but you still WONDER. One little girl was visibly nervous and one little boy sobbed the entire time (his mother was SO ANNOYED) but Jack got right in line and asked his typically bizarre questions (when informed that the playground monitors would be wearing bright orange shirts, Jack piped up with, "What if the sun is too bright and we can't SEE the bright orange shirts?") 

They shuffled the parents into the cafeteria and the principals gave us the low down on logistics while the kids ate cookies and drank juice provided by what was referred to as the "Not PTA". They call themselves "Family Group" because they're not all structured like a PTA, more laid back and easygoing and if this is actually true I might actually want to participate. 

But if I had a good experience on the school tour a few months ago, it was blown out of the water by the orientation. It's true that I am LOOKING for positivity, but I am also just so relieved. My whole [out-of-touch] vision of Catholic school or a "good" public school didn't materialize. I saw everyone's pictures of their kids wearing Catholic school uniforms on their first day last week and felt sad. I still felt anxious about choosing to send my perfect precious child to the run down neighborhood school, where full day kindergarten is free because the school is labeled disadvantaged. But I have honestly loved everything about it. His teacher impressed me right off the bat. Everyone was SO friendly and SO enthusiastic. The new principal made a point of meeting Molly and admiring her silver shoes (and showing off her own glitter TOMS). 

I've said this a million times - because I come from a family of public school teachers I've been feeling like I "know too much" about what goes on backstage. I want to feel good about Jack's class AND the principal AND the school as a whole. I may not "speak" teacher, but I totally understand it when I hear it and I feel like I need to know all of that stuff. WHICH I DO NOT NEED TO KNOW. As if I don't have enough to be anxious about, what with packing lunch and figuring out drop off logistics and picking out the Most Cute Outfit for the first day. 

So whatever, it's all good. I'm really excited for Jack. I'm excited for me! I'm having to stop myself from signing up for everything on the volunteer form, reminding myself that 1) I have a baby and 2) I don't even LIKE volunteering! 

Tomorrow we'll take Jack to his class, stick around for a welcome meeting sponsored by the Not PTA, and then (gah) I have to drive Molly over to PRESCHOOL orientation. (Her first day is Monday.) I feel like life just got super busy, and it's only going to get busier, huh? Now is when we start marking time by school years again, and wondering how our kindergarteners turned into sixth graders OMG SHUT UP, ME!!!

In which I start missing my five-year-old

I'm feeling like a bit of a mean mom tonight. The princess birthday party is tomorrow and when I envisioned this whole thing, it was all about Molly (OR OKAY, MUCH ABOUT ME) and how we would decorate and what we would wear and eating PINK things and DRINKING pink things and WHEEEE!!! I totally failed to consider the small boy who also enjoys cake and party games and, yes, princess dresses. 

To his credit, there's been no whining. Just a lot of anxious curiosity. He saw me printing out pictures for a game and asked me all about it, informed me he played the same game with Grandma, were we going to use candy at the birthday party too, was I going to make sure everyone could win, ETC. ETC. He wants to know about the cake. He wants to know who's coming. He wants to know if the cookies we decorated today are for the party. AND I JUST FEEL TERRIBLE.

I didn't have any qualms about a no boys allowed party, but I really did not think through how to PLAN a no boys allowed party with a boy hanging around 24/7. 

Anyway, the idea is for Phillip and his dad to take Jack out for dinner (he's requested the McDonald's Playplace, if you had any doubt) and to bring him back before the party is over so he can have cake at least. I'm starting to wish I'd gone along with Molly's original plan, which was, "No Mommy, we have to have Jackson, so we can have a Princess and SUPERHERO party." She was so much smarter than me. 

BUT WHATEVER! We have pink felt princess hats and heart-shaped finger jello and what better use for my parents' ancient Bavarian china, with the dainty pink rosettes and gold trim? 

This was a week I was worried about, what with No Plans and No School Yet, but it turned out okay. Despite the nasty cold I picked up yesterday, despite the never knowing what we were going to do each morning. Things worked out. And this morning Emma slept late, so I got the big kids ready and then when the baby woke up, we all went out for coffee and muffins for breakfast and THAT is why being a SAHM is awesome. You can just DO stuff like that. Sure, you're beholden to the baby's schedule and everything's a hassle with three car seats, but just sort of picking up and going wherever and deciding that on this random Thursday morning you're having blueberry muffins and hot chocolate for breakfast instead of staying home and eating oatmeal - it's not a bad gig, is what I'm saying. 

We have one more week of this, then Labor Day Weekend, then SCHOOL. I already have fifteen School Events on the calendar. And I'm slowly filling up our week with friends and coffee dates. It's a tiny bit weird to think Jack is going to be completely out of the playdate picture after a week and a half. No more weekday overnighters to Grandma's house, no random coffee shop breakfasts, no more Target at 8:30 AM. It's good - we're both definitely looking forward to school, oh yes - but it's also the end of an era, at least for Jack, and somewhat for me. I've still got a long time with Emma, but my near-daily semi-freakouts about What Are We Going To Do This Morning?! are practically ended with the big kids. Molly will be gone three days a week. (And when she's home she's easy: doughnuts and shopping.) 

So hopefully I won't be tearing my hair out these next few days. Hopefully we can do some fun stuff? Enjoy ourselves? Not that HE'S aware, but I am. And not that there's really anything to commemorate or DO, even, but I want to notice, pay attention. He won't always be the little boy so interested in his sister's princess birthday party.