A Not Stressy Post About The Blathering!

Everything was going okay until I remembered I have to bring snack for kindergarten tomorrow. Last year the teacher would put out a general plea for preservatives and the parents would haul in a box of graham crackers or an industrial-size bag of Goldfish. THIS year the teachers have gone all healthy on us and are requesting fresh fruit and vegetables on scheduled days. IRRITATED PRO-SUGAR EYEROLL. 

We have apples at home, but I'd have to cut them all up in the morning to minimize the browning and I can barely accomplish what's necessary in the morning let alone extra snack tasks. Also, they are honeycrisps and they are MINE. So I just drove to the store to get something that is NOT apples and I saw cantaloupes and "Hey!" I think to myself, "that's a kid-friendly yet not-always-in-the-lunchbox fruit!" And I bought three. Even though they were expensive. And out of season. 

And when I cut one up just now it was half green and tasteless and I will be cutting up all my apples tomorrow morning DAMMIT. 

Otherwise I've been feeling pretty good about, you know, deserting my family on Wednesday when I leave for the Blathering. I still think of it that way. Maybe it would be different if I were a working mom, but being a SAHM who always feels like she's getting away with something, it feels EXTRA indulgent to jet off on a long weekend alone. THAT SAID, I am ready. Childcare is in place, my brother-in-law has been badgered into driving me to the airport, and I even know what I'm packing. Mostly. As I type there is a Twitter conversation going about humidity and temperatures and water breezes and it's getting confusing. Maybe I need a bigger bag. 

I have asked myself if I'm nervous about the Blathering this year and the answer is No. I wasn't particularly nervous last year either, though. I chalk this up to several things. First: the wine is plentiful. Second: everyone is seriously always so NICE. CHARMING, even. Third: I no longer seem to have mini nervous breakdowns over whether people will like me or want to spend time with me. The first thing, the liking me thing, well, the truth is that I AM A NICE PERSON and WHAT IS THERE NOT TO LIKE? RIGHT? As for the second thing, I have some designated people to whom I shall velcro myself in insecurity emergencies, whether or not they consent. 

I used to write Things That Are Stressy About Going To A Big Internet People Gathering posts, but eh. It's not stressy! I mean, I suppose I could MAKE it stressy (I have extraordinary skill in that department), but I am working hard at NOT being that way? So! Here are some Not Stressy Things About Me, In Particular, Going To A Big Internet People Gathering. 

• I am an introvert, but I LIKE PEOPLE. I am VERY INTERESTED in people! You have stories! I want to hear them! Especially that thing you wrote about that one time - I want to know more about THAT. 
• I am an introvert, but I am not SHY. Well, I used to be. But then I decided that being shy was lame and actually not really me and remember the part where I AM A NICE PERSON, WHY WOULDN'T YOU WANT TO HANG OUT WITH ME? That helps. I'm not saying I'm not AWKWARD or WEIRD and I'm DEFINITELY not saying I'm good at conversation, but there is limited time to become best friends with everyone and I will not be wasting that time hugging the wall and staring at the floor. 
• I AM easily embarrassed. I MIGHT spill a drink (or break a glass) and then I will want to die, but probably by this time I'll have had some of the plentiful wine and this will be No Big Deal. 
• I already KNOW that I will not be the cutest lady there. This helps IMMEASURABLY with my stress level. 
• I am completely and totally Unstressed about who will be taking care of my kids. Phillip will take them to school in the mornings and then their devoted Nai Nai and Ye Ye will come up, spend the day with their Precious Emma, pick up the big kids at school, and make dinner for everyone. Each day I'm gone. It will be NICER for my family with me gone. Someone is going to COOK for them! At dinnertime! More than one day in a row!
• All of my real life people know I am going to hang out with my Computer People. I didn't have to lie to my parents or avoid the truth with my in-laws or make embarrassing confessions to my real life friends. I am totally OUT re: The Internet and even my hairstylist knows you guys. (And she thinks you're cool.)
• Ordinarily, when visiting a New City, I would be all, "Now what are the historical locations of interest! What do I need to read! How many guide books will I need!" But when I go to the Blathering it always seems that at least one person knows where to go and I will always choose Conversations over Sights. (This is why I have to go BACK to Chicago and New Orleans.)

Does that make anyone feel better and/or want to be my friend? Maybe? Remember: NICE PERSON! 

I still have a couple days before I leave. I don't know why I'm writing this now. Especially when I could be writing about my son's new haircut (a cross between Punk and Hitler Youth) and how my husband is extra cheery today (the Seahawks made a comeback AND the Breaking Bad finale is tonight!) and the best parts of my conversation with FIL about starting a business (I should have recorded it, it was that good) but BLAH BLAH BLAH I am thinking about my TRIP. YAY!

 

Time again for the overly earnest love letter to the Internet

Earlier this year I volunteered to be on the prayer team for a regional for-college-students retreat. Whenever we'd meet we'd spend a little bit of time sharing how we're doing, what we're feeling, what' we're SENSING - prayer team people can truly be touchy feely weirdos. Anyway, this one woman, who up to this point I had put on a pedestal*, busted out with something like, "I don't know guys, I just feel like our ONLINE CULTURE is something we should concentrate on, just how people aren't having REAL relationships, it's all FACEBOOK and whatever that Twitter thing is, and we're not leaving our homes and engaging with REAL PEOPLE -" I may have tuned her out at that point, lest my blood boil over and I Explode With Rage in the quiet peaceful prayer room. 

Well, not really. I'm more of a Seethe With Rage type who then blogs about it later. And I took her point. We all know icky stories, right? But that whole viewpoint hasn't rung true for me at ALL, in fact it's been quite the OPPOSITE, and it was my love for my online community that caused me to break character and blurt out, "BUT IT'S BEEN SO LIFEGIVING FOR MEEEEEE." 

Seriously, I think most of us here would say that the internet has UN-isolated us, right? Every single time a real life mom friend tells me she's struggling I say, "HAVE YOU TRIED TWITTER?" (Not helpful.) (Except it WOULD BE.) (Anyway.) 

These last few days I've been helping figure out some Blathering stuff and once again I'm totally overjoyed by the flurry of sign ups. Caused, of course, by the fact that we decided to reduce the number of attendees and maybe that lit a few fires under a few undecided butts. GOOD. 

Something else that was out of character - I loved the 60 person head count last year. Put a little wine in me and I become an extrovert, what can I say. And these were 60 people I REALLY wanted to meet! But it always helps to be one of the people throwing the party (why do you think I'm so devoted to my Christmas party and terrified of going to YOUR parties?) and also it was my third time. I was not afraid! I had great faith in awesomeness of the ladies of the internet!

We cut it back to 40 mainly because the logistics were creating nightmares, but I'm pretty sure I'll love 40 even more than I loved 60. It totally absolutely sucks to not have everyone there who wants to be, but I'm hopeful I'll have more time with the people who ARE there. And just a note, for those of you who can't make it: I have a big house and several barely used air mattresses. That was a Hint. 

I kind of want to drag Formerly On A Pedestal Prayer Lady to the Blathering (by her hair) and be all, "APPRECIATE THE AWESOME." Because of this group of ladies I have people who can answer questions when my kids are sick, who know how anxiety feels, who love the same books, who love to write, who send me presents when I'm bummed, who text me when they have a funny story, who chat with me during naptime, who un-isolate me. And they are always game for another glass of wine.

Anyway, I felt like I was due for a Rah Rah Internet post. There you go. I should probably go do what I SAID I was going to do tonight, which is update the attendee list. FINE THEN. 

 

*On a pedestal because, well, she's basically the sort of Pacific Northwest hippie mama I sometimes want to be, with the most beautiful voice, fantastic hair, a great sense of humor, kick ass mother of FIVE, wise, compassionate (except about the internet) AND SHE HAS A NOSE RING. 

I figure we're due for a little blog angst, yes?

Okay guys, so here's the problem with the blog. Or, the many problems with the blog. (This one. In case you were wondering.)

I don't know what it's about anymore. 

Well. ME, obviously. MEEEEEEEEEEE. My favorite subject. 

And not that I ever felt like it had to be ABOUT something before. Like Emily said her blog post a few weeks ago, which has obvs inspired this post, I started this thing because I was BORED. And back then I didn't have 9.5 years (OMG) of archives, so everything was fresh and silly and all of it was interesting (to me). 

Now the blog is more a means of procrastination than time-filler. Now I do more "considering" before I write about my kids, especially Jack. And you know how smitten I am with Emma, but let's face it, babies have not slept and not walked before and I repeat myself - have you noticed? I stopped writing for Parenting.com (I quit and they said, "well, we were going to get rid of you anyway") because I didn't have anything new to say. That's sort of how I'm feeling here. 

But this is not a post about Not Blogging Anymore. I'm not sure I could stop! I have always kept a journal and you know what? Journals are way more fun when people comment on them and then you get to meet those people in real life. SUPER COOL.

In the last year or so, though, I've been starting to feel like: what is to keep people reading this? And not in the "I have to have lots of readers!" way, but in the "why would my FRIENDS want to read this?!" way. I have made some beloved internet friends and if this is the prime way I communicate with them and share my world, OH GOD. I AM SO SORRY FOR THEM. I can't STOP writing, because I love it and because I want to be part of the community, but WHAT IS THERE TO SAY? 

Things I have considered: 

• blogging less often, like once a week. So that it COUNTS and it's GOOD and it MATTERS. 
• becoming a Churchy Blog
• becoming a Blog That Documents The Creation Of Our Bakery/Playroom
• become one of those people who only Twitters
• magically getting funnier/wiser/more original

Unfortunately I am a very average boring person who wants to write about ALL the average boring things whenever I feel like it. So. Those things are not going to work. 

I guess this is more about my fear of maintaining my online friendships. Because guess what: I DON'T have as much time to dork around online as I used to and it appears I gave up reading blogs instead of writing one. Most people tend to do it the other way around, I suppose because they are much nicer than I am. But I can't tell you how many days I go between opening up Google reader, or how many times a friend (A GOOD INTERNET FRIEND!) has to inform me that she wrote something about that exact thing I'm talking about two weeks ago FOR SHAME. 

Since the new year I've been trying harder. I weeded out my reader and at least once a week I make a concentrated effort to not only read my friends' blogs but COMMENT ON THEM. I've become lazy and dependent on Twitter and Instagram, even Facebook sometimes! I feel like I know what's going on with you! But then I open up your blog and oops. I don't. 

I used to sit at the computer and type URLs into the address bar from memory and read your stories for hours. I can't do that anymore. But I want to do better than I'm doing now. I used to think blogging would be a phase or something, and then I'd find something better to do, but no. I don't think I'll do this FOREVER but to stop means... well, it'd be like moving away. I HATE MOVING AWAY. Would we stay in touch? WOULD WE REALLY?

And THEN, Internet, I feel stupid for having BLOGGING ANGST. HOW RIDICULOUS. 

Okay, so this is what is going on right now. Ready? Today I:

• found out how to get Molly into kindergarten next year even though she was born (one day) past the cut off date (YES THIS IS HAPPENING)
• ate snap peas and Ranch dip for a snack instead of chocolate chips
• made plans with the FPC to leave our kids with our husbands Sunday afternoon and price out bakery ingredients and equipment at two different stores (THIS ALSO APPEARS TO BE HAPPENING)
• could not figure out which part of Mexico is the best part of Mexico to go to if your husband reeeeeeeeeally wants to sit on a beach and do absolutely nothing to celebrate his 10th anniversary (I'm thinking Puerto Vallarta because the flights are cheaper?)
• decided I could wait another week or two for a haircut

HOW SPECTACULARLY FASCINATING! WHAT SCINTILLATING PROSE! 

I love you. Have a good weekend.

All of my new (and old) best friends

Sometimes I'm all, "Hmm, self, how in the world did you get involved in this Blathering thing?" 

I am not a party planner extraordinaire, with exquisite taste and grand vision, like EBJ.

People don't naturally gravitate towards me, finding themselves welcome and comfortable in my circle of hurts-your-stomach laughter, like Emily. 

I don't communicate like Jennie, who leads with kindness and gentleness and clarity. 

I don't think about the options, the details, the ways to improve, the ways to grow, the heaps of potential, like A'Dell. 

I have absolutely no useful business skills (or amazing accessories), like Kristie. 

No one has ever considered me instantly approachable and warm, like Manda, whose smile and tension-easing cheer fills a room. 

But because those guys do what they do, I got to waltz into a gorgeous party last Friday night and discuss enneagram types and murder mysteries and yes I HAD seen the sign for the WWII museum in town. I went from recognizing barely any faces at brunch Friday morning (thanks Sarah, for matching the names to bloggers!) to feeling that let down sadness at the airport on Sunday because I could count at least five or six people I hadn't even said HELLO to. 

I knew that going in. I knew I wouldn't be able to meet and chat with everyone. I knew it would be a bummer - for ME not for YOU, obvs - but man, I didn't realize how MUCH of a bummer. For most of today I've been wondering whether the fact that I don't currently have any expensive habits means I can start one, namely jetting about the country for long weekends all year. 

(Phillip is away this week and unaware that I am busy distributing all his frequent flyer miles between Sacramento and Chicago and Austin and A Tiny Town and DC and OMG EVERYWHERE ELSE.)

Thanks for the Sazerac and the French75, the brownies for breakfast, the exciting news you shared, for laughing at my gnarly rug burn tale. Thanks for excitedly telling me your enneagram type, for the rides, for the stories that made me cry, for hugging me back when you're not a hugger (I knew and I hugged you anyway). I won't forget your FedExed dress or your amazing and generous sister or that thing your in-laws did. I loved sitting at that table with you. I already miss cheese fries, a stripe of glitter on my nose, all the conversations in beautiful courtyards. Oh, and thanks for not cuddling.

I'll see you all in Charleston next year, yes?

In which I get Inappropriately Overemotional about the INTERNET OF ALL THINGS

Because October suddenly got real with the rain and the darkness and the cooped-up-inside-ness, herewith is a list of Things I Am Looking Forward To: Blathering Edition. 

1. TIME TO BE ME. I'm a mom, I love being a mom, I don't do anything else except be a mom, I would choose exactly what I do over and over again, it's definitely the place and thing for me. However! It will be so nice, so invigorating, so reenergizing to spend a few days being me without the momness. Conversations uninterrupted by demands for snacks. Dinners out minus the package of wipes and kid menu crayons. An extra glass of wine because I won't have to make a bottle in the middle of the night. Getting invested in someone's story, and that someone is not in preschool and uses big words. And for longer than just a night out at a bar or an afternoon in a coffee shop - this will be several DAYS' worth of being all of me minus the sandwich making and the butt wiping and OH GOSH it sounds magical. 

2. SIGHTSEEING. I know zilch about New Orleans. I know the words 'Cajun' and 'Creole', I'm vaguely aware of Bourbon Street, I know what Mardi Gras is, and I like jazz. I have heard of this small piece of heaven on earth called a beignet and I intend to consume as many as possible. But I haven't spent any time at all researching New Orleans or figuring out what I want to see and do. Mainly because I'm jealously guarding my Internet Friends Time and I will pretty much do whatever my internet friends want to do because I am all about them, right? It's a little unlike me, this total lack of research and spreadsheets, but I also know that I WILL get to see and do a lot, even if I don't have it all planned out ahead of time. I'm from the Pacific Northwest by way of overseas military bases, and there's so much about my own country - ESPECIALLY THE SOUTH - that's not even on my radar. Speaking of, is New Orleans considered The South? See, I don't even know that. I'm one of those accent-less, lives-in-a-bubble, West Coasters who really has no idea about anything. This is exciting. 

3. THE FRIDAY NIGHT PARTY. It might be my favorite part of the Blathering, when everyone's in the same room for the first time and it's all DUDE, THESE ARE REAL PEOPLE. I think it's much easier for me to be excited about this part than other attendees, mainly because I'm one of the people organizing the whole thing and therefore I'm not that nervous about meeting people. It's kind of like how I infinitely prefer hosting my own giant parties to attending someone else's: if I get overwhelmed, if I get nervous, if I start saying the wrong things, if it seems like no one wants to come stand with my in my little corner, if it looks like everyone wants to talk to Emily Cassee instead (which they will, she's much cuter and infinitely funnier than I am) it's not a big deal! I can always head into the kitchen and find a job to do. I can always go around pouring wine. I can force myself to go meet someone on my own, not because I'm brave and confident, but because I'm hosting and that's my JOB. But honestly... maybe it's the wine, I don't know, but I'm sort of dying to throw myself at my favorite internetters, to go all fangirly, and give all the hugs to all the people. Fair warning: I can be inappropriately overemotional, but it's only because I LOVE YOU!

4. NEW FRIENDS. I'm introverted, I'm quiet, I'm terrible at chatting, I get embarrassed easily, I can't figure out how to participate in group conversations, I am (see above) inappropriately overemotional, BUT! I am always on the lookout for new best friends. Really. I almost always assume I will get along great with everyone and I have spent considerable amounts of time trying to figure out how to have deeper relationships with people who maybe shouldn't even BE my friends: the girl who cuts my hair, my OB, Jack's kindergarten teacher. Maybe I don't NEED to be best friends with everyone, but if I WAS it would be AWESOME. 

5. SEEING OLD FRIENDS. You know who you are. I am so excited to see you. You seriously have no idea. I might spend the entire weekend crying because I'm so happy to see you. I mean, I'll try not to, because I understand how that would get annoying, but I will WANT to be happy-crying the whole time.

6. DRESSING UP. I know everyone gets anxious about what to wear what to wear what to wear and honestly, I don't know what to wear EITHER. But I know what I LIKE to wear and those things are usually sparkly and/or shiny and/or have very high heels. (OR ALL THREE. OOOOH!) And because it's the Blathering and I'm gonna have fun, you bet I'm wearing my sequinned dress to dinner Saturday night. SEQUINS ALL OVER. If you're the sparkly type yourself I encourage you to bring your own glitter because honestly, if you can't wear it with Internet ladies in New Orleans, where CAN you wear that dress?

7. GOOD STORIES. At the first Blathering I roomed with Liz, Emily, and Manda and I can't repeat half of what we talked about. (See above: embarrassed easily.) I can't repeat the other half either- I missed it because I was laughing so hard. 

8. HAVING FOUND MY PEOPLE. So the tagline on the Blathering website is 'Find Your People'... I think those of us who started this thing felt like maybe we sort of knew who our people were? And the first Blathering just cemented it and that was amazing. It's like... ok, here's a tiny example. My real life friends know I like to write, but they don't read my writing. That's not how we're friends. But that's how WE are friends, right? Because you read my writing and I read yours and it's this other part of me that doesn't come out so much in my "real" life, but is such a real and huge part of me. And the things I write ABOUT - you know those things too! You know me! Oh God this is starting to sound WAY dorky, now NO ONE will want to talk to me in NOLA... WHATEVER! Seriously, I relate to people who express themselves in writing. And people who write tend to get ME. And going to a gathering where pretty much everyone is a writer, where everyone understands how Twitter is a lifesource, where everyone's already put their story out there just like you have - it's different than "real" life! Here is where I get inappropriately overemotional, also embarrassingly introspective and sentimental and loopy. But I just think it's a really spectacular opportunity. I thought I found my people the first year, but I found my people the second year too. I missed out in Austin, but I bet I'll find more of you in New Orleans.

Although, honestly? Even the plane ride is starting to sound like a day at the beach right now. No kids? A bag of books? Snacks galore? Hours to myself? SIGN ME UP. 

Just skip this one, trust me

I think about Not Blogging Anymore a lot lately, way more than I used to. Anyone else? 

I have a lot of reasons, though it depends on the day. Some days I realize Jack is about to turn five and head to school and how would I have felt if MY mother were writing about ME on a near daily basis for an audience of, uh, dozens? There are times when I think it will be really neat for my kids to read some [SELECTED] entries, and sometimes I think about when my girls have their own babies and maybe they'll get a kick out of what I had to say about being a mom. Maybe? But I'm feeling like I shouldn't be writing so much about my individual kids anymore. Or I need to edit, big time. 

Then there are days when I violate blog policy, which makes me feel sad and guilty and ashamed of myself. 

There are days when CLEARLY I have nothing to say. And days when CLEARLY I should visit a trusted mental health professional instead. 

I've been writing here since 2004 and if you were to judge the blog by fame and fortune and book advances, then it's been an abject and embarrassing failure. 

Although, if you judge it by friendships made and a now yearly assumption that I will fly across the country to see them, it's been a tremendous success. I can't forget that part.

I've always wanted to write, but does this count? 

I think sometimes I hop on Twitter to see what's going on and I'm overwhelmed by the conversations. I wonder if it's possible to be an introvert on Twitter. You'd think not, since you're not actually in their presence, right? And you have time and space to compose your replies. Except sometimes it feels like there isn't time! People are going so fast, and then what if you forget someone, or someone else jumps in, or you get a little lost, or sometimes (heaven forbid) your real life demands attention. Or sometimes I think I'm just not that opinionated, so why bother saying anything in the first place? Especially when there's always someone else to say it for you. 

I think I'm just tired. Last week was excruciating, for both Phillip and me, and part of me wants to write about it, because that's what I do, and part of me thinks I've written it already, too many times, and who cares anymore (if they ever did) and maybe I should find a "real" thing to do. Maybe clean my bathroom every once in a while. 

My biggest fear, if I stopped keeping a blog, is losing people. I'm terrible at Twitter and Facebook is too real-life, so this is my main form of communication. And I just can't fathom doing the mom thing, or just LIFE, without my internet friends. So much so that I wonder how non-internetters manage. 

Anyway. We all know I'm not going anywhere. I like it here too much. I just wish I were better at it. If that makes sense.

 

Nothing to see here!

There is nothing here tonight because I am too busy learning about image maps. I LEAD A VERY EXCITING LIFE, INTERNET.

It's too bad, because I have updates for this place, the weight loss blog, AND the Catholic blog! WHEN DOES THAT HAPPEN? (I will tell you: when I start running again. People, it is TRUE what they say about running = brain activity!) 

If you didn't watch my darling child sing the last verse of the 12 Days of Christmas, what are you waiting for?

ALSO. This is the last week (or maybe next week is the last week? I FORGET) that I am writing for Parenting. I KNOW! So! Your job is to help me think of what in the WORLD I will write about for my big! fat! last! post! The suggestion box is OPEN.

Phillip just handed me Molly's pants and said, "LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAD YOUR CHILD WEAR TODAY." And I'm looking at the pants aaaaand there's a big ole tag inside! I'm such an awesome mom! But really, what's wrong with my kid that she goes around all day with a giant piece of cardboard chafing her rear end?

 

Besties with my OB

I had my six week checkup today. You know what was fun? When the nurse was taking down all my information and she asked, "Who delivered your baby?" and I said, "Uh... no one?" and she was all, "HUH?" and I said, "The nurse? Sort of?" and she said, "No, what doctor?" and I said, "THERE WAS NO DOCTOR!" That was fun. 

And then I spent a whole afternoon wondering how weird it would be, exactly, to invite my OB to my Christmas party. I thought it might be weird if I asked her THEN, while I was wearing what amounted to a piece of paper. But it didn't seem to bother HER and she stuck around talking to me long after business had concluded so I don't know, maybe she wants to be friends too? AUGH THIS IS SO DORKY. I thought about emailing my old neighbor, who is 1) an OB and 2) a friend and seeing how weird it would be, but she KNOWS my OB and that just added a whole other element of weirdness. AGAIN WITH THE DORKY!

Baby News: I've decided Emma is not refluxy so much as gassy. Yes, me and Dr. Google decided this. Maybe she does have  a little reflux, but Phillip and I are both in agreement that what's causing most of her discomfort is lots and lots and lots of stinky gas. I am now stocked up with Mylicon drops and gripe water and I'm going off cheese and milk and my beloved instant pudding (sugar-free instant pudding is how I survive the barren chocolate-free wasteland of a low carb diet) in hopes of decreasing the evil bubbles. Arwen sent me a link to some probiotic stuff and the nurse today talked about massage and SOMETHING WILL WORK. I didn't give her the Zantac this morning because 1) my super duper mommy instincts tell me this isn't really a reflux issue and 2) she positively hates it (I can't BELIEVE they make it MINTY). 

Right now she's asleep. On her side, in my bed, covered with a blanket - pretty much all the things they tell you not to do. She's getting so big - 9.5 pounds at her reflux appointment - and she just LOOKS different and I am trying SO HARD to get the most out of this tiny baby stage. Remember Phillip doesn't want to do this again, so I really want to remember all of it. Every time I pick her up I have this fear that she won't tuck her legs up and stretch out with her arms and point her chin in the air and make that closed-eyes-milk-drunk-grimace I love so much, because when she stops doing those things she will officially not be A Tiny Baby anymore and my heart will break into a zillion pieces. 

I took her with me to the doctor while the FPC watched the big kids. Remember the FPC? She's still PCing and has so many crazy cake stories you sort of stop believing that they're real. There just CAN'T be so many wackadoos ordering cakes. AND YET THERE ARE. Which is why the FPC and I are going to start a new blog (yes! another one!) and we're going to call it Cake Freaks or something like that and it's going to be ANONYMOUS and SNEAKY and all about the wackadoos who order cake. And possibly the people who run the cake shops. I'm just saying. IT COULD BE INTERESTING. 

Of course... I'm feeling a bit busy these days. But it sounds like a fun little side project. I would totally read that blog. Dude, the wackadoo she told me about today? TAKES THE CAKE. PUN TOTALLY INTENDED. I told the FPC that I would even take dictation over the phone. That is how committed I am to the cake blog. Of course, the FPC wants to monetize it, so that she no longer has to deal with cake wackadoos. I told her she might need to think of a plan B. 

Why am I not sleeping while the baby sleeps? Oh right. It's called TWO PRESCHOOLERS and IN DIRE NEED OF DOWN TIME. 

 

 

Overweight, half-crazy, post-partum blogger advertises her bloggerness

I have spent the entire day on the Internet. I need an Internet Break. But before I go...

1. I have a [YET ANOTHER!] new website! The newest version of Hot By Thirty is called Breaking Up With Bread and comes with a whole new blogger, my partner in weight loss suckitude: Princess Nebraska! Go cheer us on, please. 

2. I just googled our new blog name and oops, about ten thousand people thought of it before I did. OH WELL. 

3. I also have a weight-related post up at Parenting tomorrow. I don't have much imagination today. (see: ON INTERNET ALL DAY LONG.)

4. AND! AND! My neighbor came over with her two kids and it was super cute and an all around excellent way to kill those afternoon hours. Yay! Right? Except for the part where 1) I told her about my website and 2) she went home and looked up my website and 3) LEFT ME A COMMENT OMG on the 4) POST ABOUT MY NEIGHBOR COMING OVER. So now I am dead. Good night!

P.S. Hey neighbor! NOW YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ME! 

Talking myself into and out of things

I am not REALLY thinking about going to the Blathering. Not SERIOUSLY. In fact, I have made a list of all the reasons why I shouldn't/couldn't go:

1. The cheapest flight is $367 and that's to DFW, which is still a ways from Austin, which means I would have to bum a ride and a car seat. (The cheapest direct flight to Austin? $837. HA HA HA.)
2. I am about 40 pounds and four pants sizes larger than I was at the last Blathering and go ahead and call me shallow, but that's a bummer. 
3. The above means I have nothing to wear. No really. I've been wearing the same pair of yoga pants and the same maternity shirt for two weeks.
4. Guilt.
5. We just bought a house. And a car. And several hundred cans of spray paint. 
6. Phillip probably shouldn't take any more time off. And I'm pretty sure he doesn't WANT to take any more time off. 
7. More guilt. 
8. I'm not sure how I would hold up my end of the "meeting the drink minimum" deal. Though I'm positive Emily would come through for me. 
9. Hauling a newborn along would severely limit my flexibility to just go do whatever and hang out with whoever, which is what the Blathering is ABOUT. Although she'd be a good excuse when I got overwhelmed, because HELLO FIFTY PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW... okay, this is not the "reasons to go" list.
10. I don't have a roommate. And no one would want to room with a newborn anyway. They are going to get AWAY from their children. 
11. Intense amounts of guilt. 

Reasons TO go:

1. Jen. Elsha. -R-. Hillary. And all the other people I would LOVE to meet for the first time. 
2. Lauren. Sarah. Katie. Jennie. Maureen. And all the ladies I feel I like I didn't spend nearly enough time with when I DID meet them. 
3. The girls I've seen more than seems possible for Internet Friends, which, sadly, isn't nearly enough. 

BLEARGH.

(P.S. NOT GOING.)