Nothing to see here!

There is nothing here tonight because I am too busy learning about image maps. I LEAD A VERY EXCITING LIFE, INTERNET.

It's too bad, because I have updates for this place, the weight loss blog, AND the Catholic blog! WHEN DOES THAT HAPPEN? (I will tell you: when I start running again. People, it is TRUE what they say about running = brain activity!) 

If you didn't watch my darling child sing the last verse of the 12 Days of Christmas, what are you waiting for?

ALSO. This is the last week (or maybe next week is the last week? I FORGET) that I am writing for Parenting. I KNOW! So! Your job is to help me think of what in the WORLD I will write about for my big! fat! last! post! The suggestion box is OPEN.

Phillip just handed me Molly's pants and said, "LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAD YOUR CHILD WEAR TODAY." And I'm looking at the pants aaaaand there's a big ole tag inside! I'm such an awesome mom! But really, what's wrong with my kid that she goes around all day with a giant piece of cardboard chafing her rear end?

 

Besties with my OB

I had my six week checkup today. You know what was fun? When the nurse was taking down all my information and she asked, "Who delivered your baby?" and I said, "Uh... no one?" and she was all, "HUH?" and I said, "The nurse? Sort of?" and she said, "No, what doctor?" and I said, "THERE WAS NO DOCTOR!" That was fun. 

And then I spent a whole afternoon wondering how weird it would be, exactly, to invite my OB to my Christmas party. I thought it might be weird if I asked her THEN, while I was wearing what amounted to a piece of paper. But it didn't seem to bother HER and she stuck around talking to me long after business had concluded so I don't know, maybe she wants to be friends too? AUGH THIS IS SO DORKY. I thought about emailing my old neighbor, who is 1) an OB and 2) a friend and seeing how weird it would be, but she KNOWS my OB and that just added a whole other element of weirdness. AGAIN WITH THE DORKY!

Baby News: I've decided Emma is not refluxy so much as gassy. Yes, me and Dr. Google decided this. Maybe she does have  a little reflux, but Phillip and I are both in agreement that what's causing most of her discomfort is lots and lots and lots of stinky gas. I am now stocked up with Mylicon drops and gripe water and I'm going off cheese and milk and my beloved instant pudding (sugar-free instant pudding is how I survive the barren chocolate-free wasteland of a low carb diet) in hopes of decreasing the evil bubbles. Arwen sent me a link to some probiotic stuff and the nurse today talked about massage and SOMETHING WILL WORK. I didn't give her the Zantac this morning because 1) my super duper mommy instincts tell me this isn't really a reflux issue and 2) she positively hates it (I can't BELIEVE they make it MINTY). 

Right now she's asleep. On her side, in my bed, covered with a blanket - pretty much all the things they tell you not to do. She's getting so big - 9.5 pounds at her reflux appointment - and she just LOOKS different and I am trying SO HARD to get the most out of this tiny baby stage. Remember Phillip doesn't want to do this again, so I really want to remember all of it. Every time I pick her up I have this fear that she won't tuck her legs up and stretch out with her arms and point her chin in the air and make that closed-eyes-milk-drunk-grimace I love so much, because when she stops doing those things she will officially not be A Tiny Baby anymore and my heart will break into a zillion pieces. 

I took her with me to the doctor while the FPC watched the big kids. Remember the FPC? She's still PCing and has so many crazy cake stories you sort of stop believing that they're real. There just CAN'T be so many wackadoos ordering cakes. AND YET THERE ARE. Which is why the FPC and I are going to start a new blog (yes! another one!) and we're going to call it Cake Freaks or something like that and it's going to be ANONYMOUS and SNEAKY and all about the wackadoos who order cake. And possibly the people who run the cake shops. I'm just saying. IT COULD BE INTERESTING. 

Of course... I'm feeling a bit busy these days. But it sounds like a fun little side project. I would totally read that blog. Dude, the wackadoo she told me about today? TAKES THE CAKE. PUN TOTALLY INTENDED. I told the FPC that I would even take dictation over the phone. That is how committed I am to the cake blog. Of course, the FPC wants to monetize it, so that she no longer has to deal with cake wackadoos. I told her she might need to think of a plan B. 

Why am I not sleeping while the baby sleeps? Oh right. It's called TWO PRESCHOOLERS and IN DIRE NEED OF DOWN TIME. 

 

 

Overweight, half-crazy, post-partum blogger advertises her bloggerness

I have spent the entire day on the Internet. I need an Internet Break. But before I go...

1. I have a [YET ANOTHER!] new website! The newest version of Hot By Thirty is called Breaking Up With Bread and comes with a whole new blogger, my partner in weight loss suckitude: Princess Nebraska! Go cheer us on, please. 

2. I just googled our new blog name and oops, about ten thousand people thought of it before I did. OH WELL. 

3. I also have a weight-related post up at Parenting tomorrow. I don't have much imagination today. (see: ON INTERNET ALL DAY LONG.)

4. AND! AND! My neighbor came over with her two kids and it was super cute and an all around excellent way to kill those afternoon hours. Yay! Right? Except for the part where 1) I told her about my website and 2) she went home and looked up my website and 3) LEFT ME A COMMENT OMG on the 4) POST ABOUT MY NEIGHBOR COMING OVER. So now I am dead. Good night!

P.S. Hey neighbor! NOW YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ME! 

Talking myself into and out of things

I am not REALLY thinking about going to the Blathering. Not SERIOUSLY. In fact, I have made a list of all the reasons why I shouldn't/couldn't go:

1. The cheapest flight is $367 and that's to DFW, which is still a ways from Austin, which means I would have to bum a ride and a car seat. (The cheapest direct flight to Austin? $837. HA HA HA.)
2. I am about 40 pounds and four pants sizes larger than I was at the last Blathering and go ahead and call me shallow, but that's a bummer. 
3. The above means I have nothing to wear. No really. I've been wearing the same pair of yoga pants and the same maternity shirt for two weeks.
4. Guilt.
5. We just bought a house. And a car. And several hundred cans of spray paint. 
6. Phillip probably shouldn't take any more time off. And I'm pretty sure he doesn't WANT to take any more time off. 
7. More guilt. 
8. I'm not sure how I would hold up my end of the "meeting the drink minimum" deal. Though I'm positive Emily would come through for me. 
9. Hauling a newborn along would severely limit my flexibility to just go do whatever and hang out with whoever, which is what the Blathering is ABOUT. Although she'd be a good excuse when I got overwhelmed, because HELLO FIFTY PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW... okay, this is not the "reasons to go" list.
10. I don't have a roommate. And no one would want to room with a newborn anyway. They are going to get AWAY from their children. 
11. Intense amounts of guilt. 

Reasons TO go:

1. Jen. Elsha. -R-. Hillary. And all the other people I would LOVE to meet for the first time. 
2. Lauren. Sarah. Katie. Jennie. Maureen. And all the ladies I feel I like I didn't spend nearly enough time with when I DID meet them. 
3. The girls I've seen more than seems possible for Internet Friends, which, sadly, isn't nearly enough. 

BLEARGH.

(P.S. NOT GOING.)

 

One link, two costumes

I've got One Million things I need to write about, probably none of which you are explicitly interested in, but 1) I have to feed the baby and 2) I am reading a good book and 3) I haven't yet watched this week's episode of The Good Wife (deep breath) THEREFORE all you get is this link to my piece at Parenting for tomorrow. The iPad Generation. Yes, I used the passing of Steve Jobs to help me out with a post topic. I was also Overly Sensitive about how much we let the kids USE the iPad. OH WELL. 

Oh wait! Question! So Jack decided he wanted to be THE HULK for Halloween and would not be talked out of it. Then he wanted to be Captain America and would not be talked out of it. What is wrong with a hobo! Or a clown! Or even a NON-SUPERHERO character! But then when we went to Target to buy the costumes he seemed enthralled with Batman, which I am chalking up to the fact that his older cousin is going to be Batman and that piece of information somehow lodged itself in Jack's brain. Like this: BIG COUSIN = BATMAN = OBVS SHOULD BE BATMAN TOO. 

But the Batman costumes were either the all black NEW Batman, of which I disapprove for a four-year-old, or the old school Batman in sizes Way Too Small. So I told him I would order him a Batman costume online. But Internet, where do I buy a cool Batman costume? Should I just order the Target one? Can I MAKE one? I believe his cousin's mother is buying his costume from Etsy, but let's just say I'm a lot cheaper than she is. 

MOLLY was going to be Minnie Mouse (my sister bought her the outfit and ears on a trip to Disneyland) but then I dug out the costume box yesterday and she found last year's costume (the pink butterfly suit from Old Navy) and now she is going to be a butterfly. Again. As much as this seems WRONG (wear the same costume AGAIN?!) it also seems EASY and I am planning not to argue/influence. So smart of me! 

Thursday linkage

I spent one out of my three free preschool hours waiting for paint at Home Depot. I know. I KNOW. 

Preschool pick up and drop off is still Fraught With Social Anxiety, but hey, it hasn't been that long, right? 

I also made dinner, am within spitting distance of finishing The Likeness, and did not take a nap. Therefore, no post for you! If you'd like, you can head over to Parenting where I'm participating in the Mom Congress blogathon. Yeah, I'm not entirely sure what that is either, but it's headed up by Kathryn, who I have met IN THE FLESH, and who is super duper friendly and funny and altogether more interesting than I am BY FAR. Anyway. I participated! In an open letter to my children about how I hope to help them get a great education this year! ISN'T THAT HYSTERICAL? I mean: preschool! Yet you should read it anyway, because HEY, the Cheungs are PROUD SUPPORTERS OF SCHOOL and one of these days I am going to shed the majority of my neuroses and GET INVOLVED! 

 

Before I go to sleep

Hey guys. If you're looking for something to read, check out my Molly Turns Three (!!!!!!!!) post at Parenting today. That's all I got. I'm wiped. 

Except I read the comments on my last Parenting thing and some preschool teacher thought my preschool post from last week was judgmental and demeaning and and and and and... well, for the frillionth time, you know I love you guys, right? And I do not EVER intend to be judgmental and demeaning and I KNOW stuff like this just totally comes with the blogging territory, but I still feel bad. Not REALLY bad, just kinda bummed because I'm actually in AWE of people who spend their days with dozens of small people who have only rudimentary grasps of the English language. As in: I COULD NOT DO IT. I sort of expect blowback when I write about things that MATTER, but I guess I'm always surprised when my jokey snot-nose attitude gets me in trouble about things that really DON'T matter. Especially when I am just trying to come up with SOMETHING to write about and perhaps go a little DRAMATIC for EFFECT. 

Lesson: be less of a snot-nose. 

Oh blogging. I can't quit you, and YET...

P.S. Molly is THREEEEEEEEEEEE

House Frustration with a side of Commenter Frustration (NOT YOU OF COURSE)

I am having House Frustration. This is my list: 

1. Hang yellow candle holder – need Phillip
2. Finish painting near ceiling
3. Finish painting hallway – buy new roller
4. Fix curtain rod – ask P for help
5. Take all hallway boxes, ladders, drills downstairs – need Phillip
6. Fill vase with paper flowers/tissue paper branches/SOMETHING
7. Frame red/aqua print - buy red frame
8. Pillow for rocking chair - FIND pillow
9. Paint bedroom Sharkey Gray - need Phillip
10. Paint P’s dresser white -
11. Find end-of-bed bench
12. Hang kid pictures on hallway wall
13. Recover dining room chairs - find fabric

FOR NOW this is my list. The frustration stems, I think, from needing Phillip to do most of this stuff with me. Or at least start me in the right direction. I was able to paint the dining room by myself because it's a smaller room, but our bedroom, for example, has REALLY high ceilings. And to reach those I have to cart around a VERY heavy ladder. And move all the furniture. Etc. (Phillip is very excited about this, btw.) 

And everything else requires spending more money than I want to spend, or I can't even find the thing I want to spend money on in the first place. So I spend a lot of time hunched in front of this here laptop PLOTTING my house escapades, but not exactly doing anything about them. And while I do this the dishes and laundry pile up and then I get mad about THAT, but whose fault is that, exactly? WOE. 

A lot of this is driven by the fact that I'm having a party in about a week and a half and I know my house won't be PERFECT, in the sense that I have it all redecorated and remodeled in my head and need it to look that way NOW, but I want it to look BETTER. 

It also just occurred to me that I will need to stick a new baby somewhere in a few months and also dress this baby and change her somewhere and right now my entire bedroom is lost under a fine layer of cast off clothes... oh I am starting to feel panicky. 

In the meantime, I want to recover my chairs in this:

 

Source: fabric.com via Maggie on Pinterest

 

but it's not UPHOLSTERY fabric so I'm thinking it won't work. That said, all the upholstery fabric I see is yuck yuck yuck. (And dudes, that embed feature on Pinterest? How cool is that! That would have made my old Style Lush posts SO EASY!)

I like this fabric because it would pull the yellow from the living and dining rooms, and the red and aqua from the kitchen - the dining room is right in the middle of the living room and kitchen. Also I think it's kinda bright and happy. And a far cry better from the filthy cream/sage plaid on my chairs right now. 

I don't know you guys... I just sit here thinking: paint the entry way! Recarpet the living room! Hardwoods in the dining room! Spray paint the picture frames white! Gray sectional! Move red couch to breakfast room! Find prints for kitchen! Show Phillip the kitchen remodel pictures! Hang pictures! Find new duvet cover! Paint dresser! And... yeah. I am still just SITTING HERE when I'm done thinking all of that and feeling PREGNANT and POINTLESS and unable to do more than make a list. I mean, I vacuumed yesterday AND cleaned a toilet and I was pretty darn proud of THAT. I can't exactly haul a dresser into the garage and paint it too. BAH.

And now, to talk about something completely different...

A few days ago I was noticing that my latest blog post at Parenting (the complainy one, not the Chinese culture fret one) had a few more comments/hits than I was expecting. That usually means the editors linked to it on the Facebook page and against all better judgment, I trotted over to the Facebook page to see what the General Commenting Public had to say. I have to tell you this is normally a very bad idea. There is a WHOLE WORLD of people missing a sense of humor (I KNOW) and it's just better if I act like they don't exist. 

BUT ANYWAY. I went over there and thank goodness there was only ONE humorless commenter (telling me I should seek therapy before I "go all Casey Anthony" on my kids - SNORT!). But what DID surprise me were the people thanking or lauding me, really, for "saying what they feel". Like, they are afraid to say things like that, or feel guilty or whatever. HMMMM.

First of all, it was a REALLY STUPID written-in-five-oh-crap-I-better-write-something-quick-minutes post, and, like nearly everything I write, not to be taken too seriously. Entertainment value, people! Second of all, I do not GET feeling ashamed or guilty or needing to act like you don't ever get frustrated about the constant chatter or constant butt wiping or constant fighting or constant mess. It's weird, because I am ALL ABOUT making sure everyone thinks I am Pleasingly Perfect In Every Way, but parenting? Most days I can't fake it let alone achieve it. So why not own it? EVERYBODY'S IN YOUR BOAT!

Some of you have said stuff about me being honest or whatever and it's always nice to get a compliment, but it makes me wonder: are other people lying? Or do they just never talk about it? Like, I just don't KNOW any moms who don't complain about their kids or use hyperbole when they've had a bad day. Isn't that NORMAL? Sure there are moms with real problems and I don't want to make light of those, but most of us just need bedtime to get here ASAP. Right? 

But it appears a lot of moms (at least ones who comment on Facebook pages) feel like they can't say those things, even if they're just being funny and venting and getting stuff off their chests. I can't stand it when commenters take my stuff super literally over there because COME ON! Who hasn't wanted to compose a "children for sale" Craigslist ad? I promise not to take you seriously. I promise to get what you're saying. I promise not to make you feel like a bad mom for venting about your day. I promise to say, "ME TOO, SISTA."

SIGH OF ANNOYANCE!

You want to feel like a great mom? MY kids are eating Cocoa Puffs for dinner and watching that godawful purple dinosaur at the same time. There you go. My gift to you. Happy Friday.

Cake, fighting, husband lateness, etc.

I've been meeting a pregnant friend to walk around the lake about once a week. It's not an official Thing or anything, we just did it once and it was nice and we decided to do it again... and then I realized that that was pretty much all the exercise I've been getting lately. Which I think is okay, seeing as how just climbing the stairs in my house makes me breathless and all the painting-near-the-ceiling I did recently about made my arms fall off in addition to making me breathless... in other words, it feels like Life Itself is enough exercise for me lately. But then walking around the lake made me feel, you know, VIRTUOUS. So we've kept it up. 

Except tonight, when I texted her to say: can we meet for cake instead? 

I mean, WHY NOT? I'm feeling sort of crabby anyway and cake is guaranteed to make me feel better whereas a walk around the lake will just make me bemoan my Increasing Girth and future inability to lose it. ALAS. (Oh yes that IS a Future Post Topic!)

The kids were awesome the first day post-vacation, but they've been sassy and snippy and fighty ever since and I! Have! Had! It! My dad was talking about how he bought new DVDs when my nephews visited last week because he just needed an hour when they weren't fighting and I am all I KNOW THIS FEELING. My "favorite" is when J and M are playing some sort of little chasing game and then Molly suddenly decides she doesn't want to play anymore and runs to my side in a Fit of Sweet Innocent Baby Girl Is Being Tortured By Her Nefarious Older Brother and expects me to hold her and protect her and GAH. This happens approximately fifty thousand times a day and as much as I want to, I can't keep Busytown Mysteries going from eight to six. (Right?)

Also I am crabby because my husband is late coming home from work and... ATTENTION HUSBANDS EVERYWHERE: Your wives can usually get behind the fact that you are late. It happens. We understand. The bus schedule is off, traffic is bad, the boss needed something, there was a fire in the server room, whatever. However! When you clearly have advance notice of the Being Late, it would be MOST WISE of you to share that information with us. As in, if you are supposed to be home at six, do not send me a text at six-fifteen saying you've been waiting for a bus for 25 minutes. What can I infer from that text? That you knew you were going to be late A LONG TIME AGO. 

This is why meatballs and corn on the cob and other various random food particles I decided to turn into "dinner" are congealing on my counter as I type. Not that I'm ANNOYED or anything. 

Also! My parents visited this morning and took us to Denny's for lunch. Now, the Cheungs are city folk and we are [rightly] made fun of by others for being sort of snooty about our eating establishments. As in: we live in the CITY. Why eat at a CHAIN. Why eat at Denny's, EVER? But secretly the Cheungs sort of LOVE Denny's, especially because the kids actually EAT things there. Special!

So we went to Denny's and even though Jack was a total pill and didn't want to order anything and Molly only wanted doughnuts or something, when their food came they ate ALL OF IT. And our food too. Jack is getting better about eating and Molly has always been ready to try anything, but neither of them eat very MUCH and it's always a struggle getting them to eat enough so they won't be hungry in an hour. But today? At lunchtime? DUDES. These kids packed it in and I had a whole afternoon without begging for snacks. They didn't eat dinner till AFTER SIX. AMAZINGNESS. Seriously, is this what it could be like? Can I take them to Denny's EVERY DAY?

Oh wait, Phillip is home now and apparently he CAN'T tell me he's going to be late earlier because he's waiting in the bus tunnel and there's no service down there. Okay fine then. But the timing seems sort of off to me... well. I won't pick it apart. THIS TIME. HARRUMPH.

Did I tell you I'm choosing cake over exercise tonight? SO SMART OF ME. 

In other news, I have a post up at Parenting tomorrow about all the ways my kids (mainly Jack) are identifying their half-Chineseness, and most of those ways are just plain bizarre. Well, it's not really HIS half-Chineseness I guess, but just NOTICING Chinese (Asian) things in general... and some of those things are clearly NOT Chinese, but merely associated with Chinese grandparents. Stuff like that. Anyway, I'd really appreciate hearing from other parents from bi/multi-racial kids. I mean, it's not a problem or anything I'm fretting about, but it's just sort of WEIRD, the stuff Jack comes up with, and I don't really know if I should just go along with whatever or try to guide him. I mean, he's FOUR. We have plenty of time to get all racial reconciliation talky talk with him. Bleargh.

It also occurs to me that this website has been seriously devoid of house decorating talk for, like, DAYS now. Unacceptable! Tomorrow: FABRIC! 

Read this, then go read that

Dear Internet,

I was freaking out, as I do, over this THING today, and I was writing a post about it all day long in my head, and then I realized I had no content for Parenting. Let us all first acknowledge the fact that I REMEMBERED I had to write something for Parenting BEFORE it was due! Slow clap! And now I must send you all over there AND BEG FOR COMMENTS because seriously, I am NERVOUS. 

Advice for the virgin playdater!

We are headed to a preschool friend's house tomorrow morning and my core conundrum is this: do we stay and hang out? Or should we just drop him off? It was unclear in the phone conversation, and it will probably be unclear tomorrow due to all the Politeness Factors. I've never dropped a kid off before, and certainly not with a mom I barely know. Not really the issue - I know her well ENOUGH. But I'll have Molly with me and I just don't know what the PROTOCOL is and ack just read the post. And leave me a comment because I NEED MORAL SUPPORT. By ten am my time. FYI. Why yes I AM giving you orders.

IN OTHER NEWS... there is no other news. Phillip's class is going better than I thought, by which I mean he doesn't come home TOO late at night. And since most of the other students are younger and cockier and babyless/spouseless, he comes home with entertaining stories about Just How Annoying Kids Are These Days. I'm enjoying that. 

I've also spent several college educations' worth of cash at Target (natch) on account of having HOUSEGUESTS this weekend. This particular houseguest happens to be someone I babysat long long ago, plus her husband AND HER BABY OMG SHE HAS A BABY and while I am dreading feeling like The Old Lady, I'm looking forward to it anyway. Plus the part where I get to spend money at Target. 

I unpacked seven more boxes today. You: You still had seven boxes to unpack?! Me: Shut up. Most of them were of the Stuff We Use Once A Year variety and/or boxes of cables and cords that I could consolidate into other boxes of anonymous cables and cords. Those are Phillip's problem. But as his "office" is also the "guest room" I need him to get cracking on that. Maybe I need to remind him that it's WELL PAST June ninth. 

The summer continues to not exist. It DID get warmer this evening and we DID head to a playground, but we were still wearing sweatshirts. I don't want to complain too much, because I sure don't want everyone else's 100 degree weather (THERE IS NO CENTRAL AC IN THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST) but gee whiz, it'd be NICE to play in the sprinkler before August. Just once! Plus the kids have grown out of all their long shirts and pants I REFUSE to buy more long shirts/pants because goshdarnit IT'S SUMMER WE WANT TO WEAR SHORTS.

Okay go comment on my playdate post. In the morning. It's not morning right now. It's 9pm, also known as Game of Thrones time even though that show stresses me out so much, why do I keep watching it?! I spend half the time with my hands over my eyes asking Phillip, "Is it over? Is it over?" Gah.