The other day we were at Grandma's house looking at her baby books - Grandma has a baby book for each of her (five) babies AND photo albums for each of her (going on sixteen) (THAT'S RIGHT, SIXTEEN) grandbabies - and on the way home Jack wanted to know if he had a baby book at HOME.
This is something I feel bad about, all right? I STARTED baby books. I just didn't get past the first page or so. Jack has a Shutterfly album of his first year, but no other years, and Molly and Emma have nothing at all. The best I've got is a decorative box for each kid shoved in the closet with copies of report cards and preschool pictures and hospital bracelets. Which is why I said, "No, but you have a WEBSITE."
Which is how my children found out their mother has been detailing every moment of their lives on the world wide web, for all and sundry to read. YIKES.
I told them that I wrote a lot when they were babies (remember the daily blogging? HA HA HA) and not so much anymore. I told them that I'd written a lot of stories that were funny or silly, but that because they were so small when these things happened, they were CUTE stories and not EMBARRASSING stories. And thank God that tonight, when Jack demanded to have me read something about him and I found the peeing-his-pants-before-dinner-out-and-buying-him-new-clothes-at-the-downtown-Old-Navy story, instead of screaming at me about his future years in therapy, he merely smirked and smiled at what a smirky boy he was even then.
I have always thought that my kids might really enjoy having these website stories when they're adults, but probably only when they're adults. I will probably have to take the whole thing down somehow in the next few years, use one of those publishing services to print out over twelve years of near-daily journal entries, and save it for when they have kids. It's so entirely from my perspective that it only seems like something they'd appreciate once they have their own. How many times have I wondered how my mother endured having five children in not even five years?! I would LOVE to read THOSE stories, heh. And of course it didn't even occur to me to wonder until I was up to my ears in not sleeping and pacifiers and bottles and strollers.
I never ever go back and read what I've written unless I'm looking for something specific. So choosing the 'Jackson' category and clicking 'back' over and over until we were sufficiently into the toddler years was both super fun and nervewracking. What DID I write?! But it earned me this video:
And this one:
One more? All right.
But we can't leave Emma out!
I hope they enjoy this dumb website in the general spirit in which it was written: stories about what they were like and who they started out as, stories that reveal what kind of person I was when they were small. How their parents got along, the places they went, the people we knew, and yes, the reasons why they ended up in therapy.
As we settle in to 2016, Jack is in third grade, Molly is in second, Emma is in, hopefully, her last year of preschool. I spend much of my free time participating in and helping to grow a healing prayer ministry. When I'm not doing that I'm doing the bare minimum to run a cookie business, helping our neighborhood school fight for equitable boundaries, planning a bathroom remodel, and running the Cheung Family Show - you know what that entails. Tomorrow we're seeing an accountant for the first time about taxes, and I'm bringing my bakery taxes with me which makes me feel a little sick. But the day after that Phillip and I are flying - alone - to Las Vegas for the weekend and that does help with the feeling sick. We've made a greater effort this school year to be more intentional about time with one another, and I continue to be intentional about making time for the many people God has given me since that dreary sophomore year of high school when I was so lonely and begged him for friends. Just one! One would do! And he gave me so many, you guys. You, too.