Seasonal Angst
This week's Two A.M. Feed

Recalibration

As it seems likely the teachers will strike tomorrow - the first day of school - we will begin today's blog post with a moment of silent prayer. 

 

Thank you. 

 

SIGH. Brisk clap. Phillip and I had a productive weekend, by which I mean our friends talked some sense into us (by which I mean him, obvs) and Team Cheung is plugging away. One thing I learned this weekend is that Phillip is BURNED. OUT. Probably anyone else could see this and talk about it, but I think because burned outness is something I completely deny/ignore/avoid/fight when it happens to me, I'm pretty terrible at identifying it in someone else. It's kind of like I don't see the POINT of being burned out. I mean, you still have to keep going, right? It's not like I have the option of throwing myself on my fainting couch and letting the au pair take care of the laundry and grocery shopping for a week. So I just don't let myself get there. [If you are thinking, "Hey! That sounds like a good way to propel oneself into a confusing anxiety attack!" YOU ARE CORRECT.] 

So, poor Phillip. It's not like I don't KNOW that he's struggling, but for whatever reason I just expect him to Power Through the way I do, forgetting that Powering Through is actually one of my special superpowers, not an average skill everyone is born with. 

What IS good about living with a person with the superpower of Getting Shit Done is that once said person finally figures out her husband really IS at his rope's end, she prints out a calendar of the year and starts inserting deliberate down time into any potentially stressful week or month. We now have a fun family weekend planned for October and a relaxing just us retreat weekend planned in November. A weekend in Vegas in January thanks to my crappy trip out of the Colorado Springs airport last year and the vouchers I got for complaining about it. A potential family trip planned for midwinter break in February. And maybe turning last year's Husbands Ski Weekend into an annual thing. (December is just going to be a mess. December is always a mess. Even a wife with special superpowers is no match for December.) 

We ALSO reformulated our plans for remodeling. For the zillionth time. This has been SUCH an annoying process, but I guess we needed to do it. The bathroom HAS to get fixed. It has actual stuff wrong with it, so the bathroom is still on tap for Drastic Renovations. But the kitchen... as much as I despise my tile countertops, the kitchen is FUNCTIONAL. The kitchen can last a lot longer so instead of focusing on big bath and kitchen remodels, we're now looking at throwing some money at the living room. When I asked Phillip what things stressed him out about the house, he mentioned the hole in the carpet, still there from when we removed the fireplace when we moved in. The cracks in the ceiling from the fireplace removal. The fact that all his living room electronics are sort of patched together, wires all over the place, nothing working quite right. So now we're thinking about actually going ahead on that Wall O' Built Ins we've dreamed about, with places for everything, wiring in the walls, and replacing allll the carpet. Expensive, but probably not as expensive as tearing out the kitchen, right? 

(I've been so frustrated with the not having a remodel plan that I've taken to hunting for new construction houses on Redfin, all located thirty minutes north, of course, with four bedrooms, bonus rooms, dens with full bathrooms that can double as guest rooms, laundry upstairs, and NEW NEW NEW EVERYTHING. After the last move (done while pregnant and Phillip was traveling) I said I'd die in this house, so I should probably reevaluate.)

You don't care about any of this, but it was helpful for me to write out. PEOPLE TO CALL. STUFF TO LOOK UP. NO HEAD SPACE TO GET IT DONE UNTIL THESE KIDS GO TO SCHOOL ACK.

 

Comments

AmyRyb

Oh gosh, how annoying that they want to strike. If they make good money like they do in my part of the country, it's even more annoying. It's just not good for the kids and it throws everything off for everyone, parents especially! I would not want to feel the wrath if the year gets pushed into July to make up days or anything like that, since lots of families plan big summer vacations a year in advance. Ick. I did say a silent prayer, and I truly hope they figure it out quickly...for everyone's sake, but mostly yours.

On the burned out husband topic, I think I can relate in that my husband works a ton, and when he's not working, usually he either wants to be sleeping or he's trying to fit in some time with the kids. And while I appreciate all of that, it drives me nuts because certain household improvement stuff or other things I HAVE to be on top of (because he's not) but can't do alone don't happen. When I have a Saturday afternoon open, I'm trying to do yard work or run errands or do something productive. He is often sleeping. Drives me nuts, even though I know he's burned out and he probably needs it. But it's not the best option to have the already super busy wife/mother take on additional stuff either, so it's definitely one of those "how do you fix this so it doesn't explode someday" issues of marriage. Too much stuff these days...seriously.

Carrie

I thought of you when I got the emails yesterday that cheerfully assured us that school would start tomorrow but that we should have backup child care planned anyway. I made the kids' lunches for tomorrow already, so I'm choosing to believe. Fingers crossed. If there is a strike, we can come visit tomorrow, if you're interested.

Glad your marriage weekend was helpful and I'm glad you guys have fun things planned! Go Super Maggie! You're doing a good job taking care of P.

Meghan

Amy, it's not annoying. They aren't striking for fun. Seriously.

Maggie, I checked in here to see how you're holding up on strike day 2 but I forgot that you are a teachers' kid so you get it. My bff is a teacher at Kimball E which is on Beacon Hill and she certainly can't afford to be on strike but what the district has done is unsat. I pray it's settled soon with relief for the teachers. Hang in there! M

The comments to this entry are closed.