A SAHM shrieks into the empty not-listening evening, then sucks it up (she promises)
I wrote this instead of napping

Grandmas and beaters full of frosting

My grandmother passed away early early this morning. I woke up to an email saying she went quietly and calmly and then I laid in bed a while longer feeling... relief. Joy, even. I keep wondering if I'll cry and I haven't yet. I did so much crying last week, just over the messiness of dying, and I've cried before over how old age and Alzheimer's slowly turned my grandmother into someone near-unfamiliar. But today I am relieved and a sort of tiredhappy. Last week I had a dream about a cathedral with its doors wide open and I feel like my grandmother went through those doors this morning. She's there. She's in peace. She's in Love. 

And then I had to do a bakery event. A pretty big one. It went so well, you guys, SO WELL. I said a lot about it on Twitter and Instagram, but I didn't know how to say anything about my grandma. Or if I should. But I wanted to say something eventually - I know many of you helped pray her through this.

Thumbprints is in charge of funeral reception desserts (which, if we're truly honoring my grandmother, will be the only food there.) I hope to write much more about my grandma and what she means to Thumbprints. (Katie: "She taught me how to bake." Me: "She taught me to appreciate a good batter-laden beater.") 

Phillip just left for his ski weekend which means there's no one here to judge me if I make a batch of Grandma's fudge frosting (from the recipe book my aunt made for all the grandchildren several years ago) and eat it with a spoon. I bet my grandma would. 

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Comments

Tracy

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. The cookbook is a wonderful thing to have.

Shelby

So much love to you, Maggie. I love your vision of the cathedral doors wide open to welcome your Grandma.

Elizm

I'm so sorry. I love how food is such a natural response to death though - like a core reminder of humanity. Plus, favorite foods bring loved ones back for a moment. Eating french fries always makes me think of my late father.

Salome Ellen

Hugs... I will now direct my prayers to your family instead of to her.

Rosemary

Hugs to you, Maggie. I'm glad you shared this with us. Will pray for you and yours. I'm sure Grandma would very much approve of your frosting plan.

Carrie

Lovely post- I'm so glad she's away from pain and confusion and is rejoicing with Jesus now. Prayers for you all.

ccr in MA

I'm so sorry for your loss. The fudge sounds like a great idea.

K

I am sorry about losing your grandma. I've lost both of mine and it feels harder than I suspected it would. Grandmas are just so wonderful.

AmyRyb

So sorry about your grandma. I know what you mean, though. When my grandma passed, it had been a long, drawn-out thing and she was a shell of her former self. Dementia, frail body...I'll never forget the time my mom and I went to visit her and I didn't recognize her from a distance because she was doing the open-mouth-head-back-sleeping-in-a-wheelchair thing that I remember the "creepy" old people doing at the nursing home when I Christmas caroled there as a kid. When I realized that was her existence I started praying for her to go to heaven. She used to be a vibrant, active, strong lady, and THAT was NOT how she'd have ever wanted to be seen. And when she passed, it was a relief. Such a relief that even my mom, her daughter, did not cry. All of the sadness of the downward slide had been enough. The memories are what matters now. I hope all of the funeral stuff goes smoothly. God bless...

HereWeGoAJen

I'm sorry for your loss and I am happy that it was a peaceful passing. Much love to all of you.

And go, Thumbprints!

Kate P

Beautiful tribute, Maggie. May her soul and all the souls of the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace.

Angela (@Aferg22)

I am so sorry for your loss. The image of your grandmother going through the cathedral doors was just beautiful.

Home Sweet Sarah

I'm so sorry, Maggie. Frosting in her honor sounds perfect.

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