The Cottage Food Act and other things I am stupid about
What would YOU buy?

Not that all brothers are uniformly awesome. For example, mine refer to me as Large Marge.

Phillip likes to say that I am a very hard worker, just not at anything that generates revenue. Today I took that a step further by working very hard on things that COST us money - I am now a proud member of an actual factual LLC. It cost me $200 and about a half hour of googling "do you really NEED a registered agent?" Legal Zoom, which was going to charge me $400, kindly offered to be my registered agent (for a fee, obvs) but it turns out you need a registered agent to, and I'm practically quoting here, accept mail on your behalf if you're on vacation. So. Thanks but no thanks, Legal Zoom.

You can register an LLC online in the state of Washington (woo hoo!) and now I can check the first step off my list. Once the LLC application is processed I can apply for a business license and after THAT we can put together our giant pile of prereqs for a Cottage Food Permit. I also have a URL, a Twitter account, a Facebook page, and many many links in my Bakery bookmarks folder. 

And I don't know why this is making me think of Mike Birbiglia but it IS... See, I'm doing this with my sister, who I love, even if she prefers dollar store posterboard to Excel. My FIL felt it necessary to pass on some advice his parents gave him - never go into the same business as a sibling. Ha. But I'm so excited to do this with her and it feels SPECIAL and all sorts of other cheesy things that would make her positively  DIE, but whatever. And this makes me think of Mike Birbiglia because we listened to an awful lot of his comedy in the car this weekend and he kept talking about his brother. All these adventures and funny things about his brother. And I got very MOPEY about Jackson not having a brother. MOOOOOOPEY.

So yeah, did you follow all of that? Bakery to sisters to Mike Birbiglia to brothers? Excellent. That is what I'm thinking about, how Jack does not have a brother and this is such a bummer to me. I am VERY VERY curious how people without a brother or a sister (or both!) feel about this - when they were kids and now when they're grown ups. Phillip, for example, doesn't feel like he missed out not having a sister. I would venture to say that if he had a sister instead of a brother, he MIGHT feel like he missed not having a brother? Maybe? I DON'T KNOW. As someone who has two of each it's hard for me to fathom. 

I am OVERJOYED that my girls have a sister. I know this doesn't necessarily mean they will LIKE each other, but I feel like the odds are in their favor and it makes me happy. I love having sisters! And it DOES make me feel sad for Jack. Sometimes I see families that are all boys and I think about how awesome that brother bond must be. What is my boy missing?! WAH. 

Now OBVIOUSLY I know that if the stars aligned and Phillip Cheung was struck by lightning and we had a fourth child, it's not like we would automatically have a boy. Even though *I* think it would be perfect to have two of each, that doesn't mean the universe ponies up. We could have fifteen more kids (calm down, Phillip!) and Jack STILL might not have a brother. 

So it's not really a "oh, we should have more kids" feeling, but a "oh, this is the sort of family our kids will have" feeling and a big fat wondering of what it will be like for them. I am always surprised when I recognize (remember? acknowledge? dawns on me?) that our family is NOT just like mine! We are different! We do different things! My kids will experience things UTTERLY DIFFERENTLY than the way I did! BRAIN EXPLODING!

Will Jack have some sort of stunted emotional growth from the lack of a brother? Probably not. Already he seems closer to his sister than I ever was to either of my brothers. He DOTES on Emma. I also take comfort in a boy/girl sibling pair I know who are SO close and SO awesome. AND all of you who are onlies, who are all, "Uh, only is the only way to go." Seems like most people prefer how it worked out for them. 

I know it's sort of a dumb and pointless thing to think about, but I DO think about it. All right, this pause in bakery talk is brought to you by Mike Birbiglia and the siren call of a chocolate bar, luring me out of bed. 

Comments

Lindsay

Hmm interesting. I know Rick always wished he had a brother, but in a very reasoned way, like he gets it just wasnt in the cards and doesn't feel damaged by it or anything. He was sad a couple months ago when he realized that even if our next child is a boy, that will likely be the last, and so that boy will never have a brother.

I think having a good relationship with your same gender parent (big assumption there i know) can help fill the void if a void is felt. I also think the universe conspires to create another relationship to fill that void if it isn't met inside the family. Not that it's the same, but the need sort of gets met somehow.

Steph

I always wished I had a sister but it wasn't a huge deal. I just would have preferred to have one. On the other hand, if I had one I don't think I would have been as close to my brothers as I am. Also, when you grow up you get sibling in laws which helps a bit with the disappointment :)

Sarah in Ottawa

As you know, I am an only. And since any day my family is about to once again become a carbon copy of yours, T will be without a brother too. I think having one would be great for him, but from experience, I know that you just...live with what you have. I cannot even imagine my life with siblings. I bet it would have been great, but I think I have been incredibly blessed and lucky either way.

Kris

So...random bakery comment that has nothing to do with this post.:) Today, the blog Ain't No Mom Jeans featured a mom/kid friendly bakery type space. Thought I'd send you the link because they had some fun ideas (box of dress-up clothes and a nursing corner WITH a boppy! love these ideas.)
http://www.aintnomomjeans.com/2013/10/local-love-lulus-casita.html#more

Hillary

I fret all the time that my boys are not going to have a close relationship with me as adults because they are boys. It's just my sister and me, and we have a very close relationship with our mom and a good relationship with our dad, but I wouldn't just call him daily like I do Mom. Because of that and because Mike does not have a close relationship with his parents, I worry my boys will leave the house and never speak to me again except out of obligation on holidays.

This is irrational, I know, and I usually manage to talk myself down by remembering my dad, who talks to his mom daily and still leaves on the property where he grew up.

Christina

I have two sisters and a brother. My brother and I were close-ish as kids, but really different and far apart now as adults. But then, I'm a girl. So maybe that makes your point for you? We had an older boy cousin who he was close to as a child... maybe that could sort of fill the "sibling" void? Tell your sisters to get busy. LOL.

Kel

I have boy, girl, boy and now another boy on the way. I totally get what you are saying. I would have loved for my daughter to have a sister, but it just didn't work out that way. Her and her older brother are 15 months apart like Jack and Molly and very close though so that helps. I think I am good with 4, and my husband DEF wouldn't go for 5 lol. And like you said, what is the guarantee we would get a girl anyway?

So I will just be the hockey mom to my boys and give my daughter that extra mommy daughter time. I am guessing she will be pretty protected with 3 brothers and she is girly but can also be pretty rough and tumble! :)

mona

I have two brothers and two sisters and I'm so glad that I am very close to one of my sisters. She's my BFF. And I hope that once my boys stop leg wrestling each other, they will be besties, too. My relationship with my brother is different, but I'm happy for it. I don't gossip with him, but we share jokes and he is trying to be a comedian, too. Even though I was first and will always be better.

Dr. Maureen

I have 4 sisters and 1 brother. My brother has 5 sisters. But he has close guy friends, and we're not SO terrible. Here is the hilarious part though: My brother now lives with his wife, his mother-in-law, and his 2 daughters. It is his fate.

AmyRyb

I was so sad when I found out that number two was not the girl I had hoped for, but took comfort in the fact that my boys would have each other, and probably a closer bond that a boy and girl nearly five years apart would have. But now my baby is almost 8 months old and my five year old is STILL not on board with having a sibling. There are behavioral issues and stuff complicating that, I think, but he has shown very little interest AT ALL in his brother. Better than wanting to hurt him, but yeah, it sort of sucks to have zero happy sibling shots (and only a couple forced ones) eight months in. It's a good thing my baby is perfect (seriously, best baby ever), or I'd be far more annoyed that I didn't get the girl I was hoping for. I'm taking it all as a sign from God that I was not meant to have a daughter and risk imparting all of my adolescent self-esteem issues to another generation.

Sheila

I totally get this! My sister was, and still is, among my best friends. I was really hoping for one of each with this pregnancy- so each kid could have a same-gender sibling. I'm excited to be having my girls... but for a while it will be Samuel and three girls. Any brother he gets will be at least (hopefully) 8 years younger! That's a huge gap to me!

Jesabes

I think about this a lot, since this third baby is likely our last. Who will get a same-sex sibling? Who won't? Are sisters closer, at least in a measurable way, like that they talk often, so should I hope for a girl? But, oh, my boy would love a brother.

I have two sisters (no brothers) so the thought of Margaret not having a sister is kind of devastating, in a way Paul not having a brother isn't, just because I'm not a boy and don't know what male relationships are like.

But, seriously, thinking about this baby being a boy (no more girls!) or a girl (no more boys!) brings up such anxiety in me I can't really think about it very much. I never thought I'd be so torn!

katie

I grew up with two brothers and one sister. My brothers shared a room and were always super close. My sister and I had separate bedrooms and were 4 years apart in age, so it wasn't until we were adults that we really became close.

Since our older two girls share a room, Mallory is mostly the 3rd wheel that gets yelled at by her elder sisters for grabbing a marker/barbie/lego piece.
Now that I'm pregnant with #4 I am excited that Mallory will have a little buddy at home with her. She is always so sad when the older two are gone at school all day. Baby #4 was all Matt's idea but since I grew up in a family with 4 kids I'm (mostly) comfortable with it. Of course he's convinced this one will be a boy and I'm sure we're destined to have all girls.

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