House/parenting/privacy/interior design dilemma. So, like, THE WORST KIND.
I have a post brewing re: How To Intentionally and Positively Address Well-Meaning Comments On My Biracial Kids' Appearances but in the meantime! I have a problem. I didn't think I would have this problem for a while, but it's been popping up here and there, with more frequency as the days go by, and I DO NOT HAVE A SOLUTION.
In short: Jackson would like his privacy, please. BLARGH.
A while back the child who happily and persistently walked in on his parents' showers decided absolutely no one could be anywhere near the vicinity when he went to relieve himself. FINE. We don't want to be around ANYWAY. He didn't say anything about baths - possibly because bathtime at Chez Cheung is more like Fun With Water than Actual Bathing and it's more fun to get every single available surface soaking wet with a partner in crime. But just recently he's been preferring showers to baths with his sister(s) (again: FINE) and more often than not showering by himself in the family changing room after swim lessons. (SUPER FINE.)
But NOOOOOOW just changing clothes is becoming an issue. A big one, since they share a room. Obviously I expected it to become an issue, but I kind of hoped to know what to do about it when it came up. And I don't. Molly appears to care not at all and that may be because she's a year younger or maybe because she's infinitely less fastidious and nitpicky than her brother. I would LIKE to split them up, I would be HAPPY to split them up, I am OVERJOYED at the prospect of big kids who tend to their own personal hygiene. HOWEVER!
My house is stupid. We bought it knowing it was stupid. WE KNEW this would be an issue. We have four bedrooms, but two are on the top (main) floor and two are on the bottom. Each floor has a (large) bathroom. So when we first moved in, Phillip and I took what seemed to be the master bedroom on the main floor and Jack and Molly shared the smallest bedroom, the second one on the main floor. When Emma was born and ready to move into her own space, we moved Jack and Molly into one bedroom on the bottom floor. So Emma, Phillip, and I sleep on the 2nd (main) floor, Jack and Molly share the back bedroom on the 1st floor. The 4th bedroom is huge, has a huge walk in closet, and an entrance to the 1st floor bathroom, but right now it's home to a full bed, a twin bed, a pack 'n play, and Phillip's desk and Assorted Phillip Stuff. So it's busy right now. We often have overnight guests (mostly family), my niece naps there when I babysit, Phillip needs an office space with a door, and the closet is great and much needed storage.
The PLAN was to have Jack and Molly's room turn into Just Jack's Bedroom and Molly and Emma would share the other big bedroom downstairs with the big closet and the bathroom. I can easily picture three teenagers sharing that space, turning the playroom into a TV/computer room, staying out of MY bathroom. You know? And if it really wouldn't work to have Molly and Emma share, then Emma could move back upstairs and Phillip would have to work in the playroom or something. We'd figure it out.
But right now that is not an option, and not just because we're using the guest room as a guest room so often. Emma's just not big enough to sleep on another floor from her parents. Or at least I don't feel comfortable with it. It's hard enough having my 6- and nearly 5-year-olds down there. (Though it's worked out well, thank goodness.) And I'm not sure how it would go with her sharing a room and I don't even want to GO there.
What's also clear is that Jack isn't ready to sleep downstairs by himself. His room is pretty far from ours and I totally understand feeling nervous by himself down there. (HOUSE = STUPID.) It's possible to squeeze Molly into Emma's room, but the few times I've asked Jack if he wants his own room, he only wants it on the condition that Molly is also sleeping downstairs.
I am not entirely sure what to do. For now I think I'm content to keep things the way they are and bark at Jack to go change in the bathroom. Maybe when we move Emma out of the crib we can revisit the room situation, but who knows when that will be? I don't WANT that to be soon!
The only other thing I can think of is moving Molly into the PLAYroom. You have to walk through the playroom to get to J and M's current bedroom. But they are two separate spaces and they both have doors and maybe that could work. Although it would be annoying. I just reorganized that playroom!
But the other day Jack asked me if he could have a box for his things, ie: the loads of papers he wants to keep. This kid has so many PAPERS. Phillip had just recycled all our cardboard so I didn't have anything lying around, but OH, I underSTOOD! This was when I decided I had to buy my son a filing cabinet, just like my parents did for me. And I want to get him a desk. HIS OWN DESK. It's not that we don't have anywhere else to do homework or projects, or that I want him to do all his homework in his room, but there is something about your OWN DESK. With your own drawer of pencils and office supplies. With your papers neatly stacked. I GET this kid, is what I'm saying, and he will LOVE his own room and his own desk and his own filing system and I WANT THAT FOR HIM.
On one hand this is not a big deal. Plenty of families live in ONE ROOM. Starving children in Africa, etc.! On the other hand I have heaps of empathy for that dawning realization that you need your privacy. And on the THIRD hand I am ALWAYS itchy to fix up my house the way it is always supposed to be, forever and ever Amen. (Which is not logical, I know this, but I have never claimed to BE logical.)
I could bunk their beds again... that would make a ton of space for desks and filing cabinets... SIIIIGHHHH
Anyone else? When did you decide the boy and the girl were no longer sharing a room?