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    March 04, 2013

    The more the better

    Oh you guys, my baby, my BAAAABEEEEE, she is best most cutest thing in the WORLD. I can say that because the other two are decidedly NOT babies and this is a baby type of Squee. I just LOVE HER. She gives kisses now, INTENTIONALLY, and it's the sweetest and tonight she used her hands to direct my face towards her and then I DIED. I DIED OF SWEETNESS. Phillip and I are just smitten. I know it sounds barfy and eye rolly and obnoxiously mommyblogger, but it's the truth. We are in LOVE. 

    I look at her sometimes and think: what if you weren't here? WHAT IF YOU WEREN'T HERE? It's weird, because life had simplified quite a bit by the time we decided to have Third Baby. No more diapers, sleeping through the night, several hours of the week spent at preschool. We could have just gone on and not looked back. I've always been terrified that I will never feel DONE having kids, that I will always feel like someone's missing. But there was definitely a point post-Jackenmolly where I thought: two is fine! I am good with two. I have my boy, I have my girl, we fit in our car, four chairs at a table, etc. Emma definitely upsets the symmetry in our family, her presence requires more car, more space, more energy. But oh wow, I can't believe there was ever a time when we didn't have her. 

    Photo (34)

    This weekend I met a woman who asked me a million questions about my kids and when I asked if she had any (she was maybe in her late forties, early fifties) she said, "Oh, the Lord had a different path for us." But then she went on to tell me about some of her "honorary" kids, young people she mentored throughout her life, and how they still come to her house and stay and call her up and write letters, even though some of them now have Big Important Jobs or live in different countries. I just had this feeling of rich fullness talking with her. I wanted more kids, more people, more family. 

    Calm down, Phillip Cheung! I am not starting Fourth Baby negotiations. Honestly, I'd be quite happy to never be pregnant or give birth again. But I would joyfully grow this family, if that is the path the Lord has in mind for us. I would adopt, I THINK I would foster, I'd let college student cousins live downstairs, I think I would even host foreign exchange students. I actually think this is something that Phillip and I are good at, sort of gathering people in. Ish. I don't know. I guess it's more that both of us want to provide a place for people, and feed them, listen to them, entertain them. Something like that. It's the whole idea behind the bakery. It's why we bought this giant house. I hope there are always people to upset the symmetry and make me figure out how we're all going to fit in the car. 

     

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    Comments

    Such a lovely post Maggie!

    I love this! I agree! In my twenties, I was totally one of those extra people living in friends' attic apartment, and they had exactly the same attitude that you do: they bought a bigger house than they needed because they wanted to always have people around, to have their family stretched and grown by strangers and friends from around the world. They wanted their kids to grow up sharing their space and loving guests. They were such a blessing to me and to my roommate, and they made me eager to pay forward their hospitality (and hopefully copy their example someday!).

    I feel like this too, but we aren't great on action at it. People don't often come to our house.

    This is fantastic! I've been having the same sort of feelings lately. Martin sort of makes our family feel whole, but I also feel like we have all of this love to share and a unique family dynamic to give to someone who needs it. Maybe a sibling group in foster care who needs a forever family...I don't know. We aren't there yet. But it is percolating in my mind.

    I love the way you ended this! Cuz really, who cares if you need a bigger car?

    Agreed! Emma is a real blessing!
    The thing I've noticed lately is how much my older two have changed because of the baby. They are constantly doting on her, tickling her and trying to make her walk and talk and play games with them. And of course baby girl loves every minute of her sisters' undivided attention. Three kids isnt symmetrical and often it is plain hard to juggle. But it truly is a marvel to watch them grow and blossom into these little people with such huge hearts.

    I love this, Maggie, this upsetting of symmetry.

    Since I am in the "I want a 3rd baby NOW" mode (though I need to wait a few months to even start trying) I do not find your opening paragraph barfy in the least. There is something about that BABYNESS. And she is pretty freaking adorable, so there's that.

    I used to think I'd be all about adding honorary members of the family - now... I think I'm more aware of my own impatience and I don't know that I'd do well at handling a revolving door of other people I couldn't really control (not that I'm really that much of a control freak, but...)
    Anyway, bless you both for being the kinds of people who can and being willing to do so!

    OH, the learning-to-kiss phase. It is the BEST. The absolute cutest thing in the world. Yay!

    "I hope there are always people to upset the symmetry and make me figure out how we're all going to fit in the car."

    This sentence really challenged me! I love reading your blog! :)

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