I had to sleep on it
I'm coming off a really good day, Internet. Look at that! It happens sometimes!
I wrote a big long introspective navel gazey post last night and I'm glad I didn't publish it. Blargh. It was good and helpful for me to write it, but yeah, I don't need to insta-publish ALL my self-absorption. And today I feel like my head is sitting squarer on my shoulders - probably in large part because I DID write it all out. It was a big angsty mess of Entrepreneurship, Type Three Personality, Things I Know About Myself, Things I Have Yet To Learn. You: sigh of relief!
But toDAY... yes. Today is better.
Just so you know, and I will TRY not to make it the topic of every post but it JUST MIGHT BE:
The cafe idea? I think I'm going to try it. (GAK.) After I was done writing it out and slept on it, I decided my idea is not stupid, has potential, and I'm going to look into it. FOR REALZ. My sister is going to come up with a menu and a list of equipment. I'm going to read more, look more stuff up, and pick the brains of everyone I know. A little later on, if we're still feeling it, I'm going to contact the owner of a similarish establishment and pick HER brain.
You know what's been the most awesome about the entire thing? Not one single person has said, "Dude, that is a REALLY dumb idea." I don't mean that the cafe is dumb so much as ME RUNNING A BUSINESS is dumb. Which it seems it totally should be. Even the people who KNOW me and should probably know BETTER have been nothing but encouraging. I was totally ready for someone, anyone!, to pop my balloon, but you guys, even my FATHER-IN-LAW told me today that I should look into it. His first recommendation to me was to get liability insurance because what if all those kids get hurt? and also what will I do when one of these crazy American mothers just LEAVES her kid there and DISAPPEARS? it happens! what will I do? probably call the police, but you know, something like that will really ruin my day! OHHHH, FIL. But he also told me I have a "good business angle" which is probably the best compliment he's ever given me. Better, at least, than the time he told me I'm much bigger than Chinese ladies so he hopes that denim vest he bought me in Hong Kong fits.
The best thing I told myself yesterday was that it's OKAY to THINK. I can't fail at thinking. There is no "right way" to think about something. And I can talk about it without feeling like I'm committing to making it happen. Right? Right.
SO. IN OTHER NEWS:
Dudes, EJ is moving ALL OVER THE PLACE. Still no walking, and it's kind of sad that we're so excited about this because NEARLY SIXTEEN MONTHS, but she's pulling up! She's kneeling! She's moving forward on hands and knees! It's fun because this is all within the last week, it seems like. Just a giant spurt of FORWARD MOVEMENT and it's fun and exciting and she's super proud of herself. Whenever we try to get her to walk it's hopeless and looks like Hitler Youth goosestepping, but I have hope. HOPE!
Jack is doing MATH and it's AWESOME. Wait, more awesome than that is all the WRITING he does. You know, "writing", but it's still really neat. One of the best things about being a parent so far is seeing how far he's gone in just a few months. We went from resisting any attempt to read to ACTUAL READING. And he's sounding out and spelling and writing words, resulting in a heated discussion the other day re: is nose spelled NOSE or NOZ and guess who was NOT giving in?
Molly, well, I'm pretty sure there is no kid sweeter than Molly. She can be a huge pill with her refusal to speak or look at you and bursting into tears over nothing all the time, but when she's being sweet she's being THE SWEETEST MOST ADORABLE THING. When we were over at my sister's discussing a cafe menu, I was confessing to the FPC that I treat Molly to something decadent nearly every morning (we HAVE to do something in between drop offs!) and FPC was all, "Whatever! She's four! It's precious!" and I was all, "IT IS!" As much as I feel like an irresponsible frivolous parent who is ignorant of the obesity crisis, I have loved every single minute of hanging out with Molly in coffee shops. I think when she goes to kindergarten I will be BEREFT. EJ better be walking by then.
It's nice being home. It's nice having Phillip home. We have all these fun weekend plans for January, plans that require babysitters, and it's just FUN. Or today was just a good day. Or today I spur-of-the-moment-ish bought concert tickets for myself and one of my favorite friends from college WHO I HAVE NOT SEEN SINCE THEN and I'm, like, jumping up and down excited about it. Things like that can really improve one's mood.
Thanks for being so supportive, Internet. I just love you. I hope you don't hate me when it turns out I write about nothing else.