Okay guys, so here's the problem with the blog. Or, the many problems with the blog. (This one. In case you were wondering.)
I don't know what it's about anymore.
Well. ME, obviously. MEEEEEEEEEEE. My favorite subject.
And not that I ever felt like it had to be ABOUT something before. Like Emily said her blog post a few weeks ago, which has obvs inspired this post, I started this thing because I was BORED. And back then I didn't have 9.5 years (OMG) of archives, so everything was fresh and silly and all of it was interesting (to me).
Now the blog is more a means of procrastination than time-filler. Now I do more "considering" before I write about my kids, especially Jack. And you know how smitten I am with Emma, but let's face it, babies have not slept and not walked before and I repeat myself - have you noticed? I stopped writing for Parenting.com (I quit and they said, "well, we were going to get rid of you anyway") because I didn't have anything new to say. That's sort of how I'm feeling here.
But this is not a post about Not Blogging Anymore. I'm not sure I could stop! I have always kept a journal and you know what? Journals are way more fun when people comment on them and then you get to meet those people in real life. SUPER COOL.
In the last year or so, though, I've been starting to feel like: what is to keep people reading this? And not in the "I have to have lots of readers!" way, but in the "why would my FRIENDS want to read this?!" way. I have made some beloved internet friends and if this is the prime way I communicate with them and share my world, OH GOD. I AM SO SORRY FOR THEM. I can't STOP writing, because I love it and because I want to be part of the community, but WHAT IS THERE TO SAY?
Things I have considered:
- blogging less often, like once a week. So that it COUNTS and it's GOOD and it MATTERS.
- becoming a Churchy Blog
- becoming a Blog That Documents The Creation Of Our Bakery/Playroom
- become one of those people who only Twitters
- magically getting funnier/wiser/more original
Unfortunately I am a very average boring person who wants to write about ALL the average boring things whenever I feel like it. So. Those things are not going to work.
I guess this is more about my fear of maintaining my online friendships. Because guess what: I DON'T have as much time to dork around online as I used to and it appears I gave up reading blogs instead of writing one. Most people tend to do it the other way around, I suppose because they are much nicer than I am. But I can't tell you how many days I go between opening up Google reader, or how many times a friend (A GOOD INTERNET FRIEND!) has to inform me that she wrote something about that exact thing I'm talking about two weeks ago FOR SHAME.
Since the new year I've been trying harder. I weeded out my reader and at least once a week I make a concentrated effort to not only read my friends' blogs but COMMENT ON THEM. I've become lazy and dependent on Twitter and Instagram, even Facebook sometimes! I feel like I know what's going on with you! But then I open up your blog and oops. I don't.
I used to sit at the computer and type URLs into the address bar from memory and read your stories for hours. I can't do that anymore. But I want to do better than I'm doing now. I used to think blogging would be a phase or something, and then I'd find something better to do, but no. I don't think I'll do this FOREVER but to stop means... well, it'd be like moving away. I HATE MOVING AWAY. Would we stay in touch? WOULD WE REALLY?
And THEN, Internet, I feel stupid for having BLOGGING ANGST. HOW RIDICULOUS.
Okay, so this is what is going on right now. Ready? Today I:
- found out how to get Molly into kindergarten next year even though she was born (one day) past the cut off date (YES THIS IS HAPPENING)
- ate snap peas and Ranch dip for a snack instead of chocolate chips
- made plans with the FPC to leave our kids with our husbands Sunday afternoon and price out bakery ingredients and equipment at two different stores (THIS ALSO APPEARS TO BE HAPPENING)
- could not figure out which part of Mexico is the best part of Mexico to go to if your husband reeeeeeeeeally wants to sit on a beach and do absolutely nothing to celebrate his 10th anniversary (I'm thinking Puerto Vallarta because the flights are cheaper?)
- decided I could wait another week or two for a haircut
HOW SPECTACULARLY FASCINATING! WHAT SCINTILLATING PROSE!
I love you. Have a good weekend.